


What War Teaches

by gemsofformenos



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Desperation, F/F, Guilt, Horrors of War, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mentioning Violence against Children, Mentonion of Torture, Romance, Suicidal Thoughts, War Crimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-01-15 22:22:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 32
Words: 67,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18508258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemsofformenos/pseuds/gemsofformenos
Summary: The Team stepped over a group of survivors on a dying planet, who have to deal with the losses, war had caused for them. And so Acxa is forced to face a dark shadow from her past. A shadow, made of her own guilt, which started to lay heavy on her, on the team and on her girlfriend, but also on the survivors.





	1. The Canyon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TalesOfOnyxBats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalesOfOnyxBats/gifts).



> This is one of my actual running stories from fanfiction.net. I'm writing this one for TalesOfOnyxBats, too, because I know, she's a huge Voltron/Acxa fan. Like I have mentioned, I have never seen an episode of the series, but nevertheless it's fun to work with the characters. 
> 
> This story is an interpretation, how I see the series through her stories and a big thank you for all the inspiration she gives me every day with her works. My apologizes for every mistake I may have made with some technical aspects, unfitting characterizations, locations or wrong backgrounds. I'm trying my best to do a good job with this great universe. Expect some own adaptations about Galran culture and language. I hope they fit in the universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The funeral rites, Ronan has done, were an idea of mine to add them to Galran culture. I don't know, if there are some rites shown in the series, but I felt they may fit in for them. They're based on a funeral rite, which is described in Sophocles 'Antigone' with a little adaptation of mine.

The scanners signs were unusual. Slightly out of place, but definitely unusual. The thermal scans showed a temperature a half degrees to high for this canyon due to the state this planet already had reached. The Galra kept focused on her device. 

This planet was dying. The harvest was going to its end and the horrible results were to be seen all over the planet. Worlds reacting different, when all quintessence were taken from them. Like living creatures reacted different to a disease. It was always a mixture of many reactions. Like a immune system, which did its best to get of the plague. But every world seemed to prefer a different favorite reaction. Some worlds seemed to buckle, shaken by earthquakes cracking and bursting, when the energy was sucked away. Others tried to spit fire to burn off the parasites, who tortured them. Most of them got a high fever. Temperature rose higher and higher, until oceans started to vaporize. But a few did something different. They seemed to stare in shock. They ran cold. Deadly cold.

Acxa looked up from her scanner. The canyon was dark. Dark and desperately cold. The life supporting system of her suit was almost at its maximum. The walls of the canyon caught her interest. They were made of emerald green crystals. Acxa remembered those crystals. She loved them. They weren’t completely mineral. Life should be in and on them. Little microbes created these magnificent structures over billions of years. Water and weather had carved the canyon in it, but also have brought life for them. It was amazing to see, how such tiny creatures were able to build mountain high crystals. She touched the walls and her mood dropped. They used to be warm, but they were as cold as the rest of this world now. And they didn’t glow anymore. Normally these structures would glow in a breathtaking green. She had seen these glowing on another planet once before. She had watched for hours, how the green mesmerizing light was pulsing and floating from a deep and strong tone to a bright and nearly blinding light and back again. How rhythmic waves of light had floated through the structures. Before the harvest had begun, this canyon must have glowed so strong, that it had to be seen on a space ship long before it would have reached the planet. So much life.

The darkness grew with every step Acxa took deeper in the canyon. It was a thick and heavy darkness. It not only clouded her sight. It tried to get a grip on the mind and soul of the Galra. It was gnawing on her mood, it tried to swallow her, like the darkness was swallowing this planet too. Her scanners turned red, as she moved on. She was recognizing a yellow mist, which was covering the ground. It was so cold, that this mist was condensing at the crystals. Acxa’s eyes widened in shock. Acid. Where the fog was kissing the structures, the dead crystals were blind and milky. She resisted to touch the slimy-looking frozen crusts on them. The foul yellow condensation was corroding the green matrix, leaving dead brown crust on the dying crystals. The last breath of this dying planet was a rotting and deadly one. She couldn’t stay long down here. The acid was also gnawing on her suit. She was about to turn around, when the mist uncovered a foot. 

“Pidge.”

The com stayed quiet. Probably she was too deep in the canyon, but she want to check this closer. She wasn’t sure, how much time this fog would give her, to check her discovery. She walked on in the direction and she found five bodies, all Galran. The acid had barely started to do its work, so these patrol hasn’t died long ago. But all this didn’t puzzled Acxa. These soldiers were buried with the proper honors. They were laying side by side, their arms were crossed at their wrists before their chests. Everyone of them was holding a weapon in his right hand and all of them had a little purple crystal on their foreheads. No grave was dug for them, but the Galra recognized, that all of them were covered with a little layer of dust. Acxa hadn’t seen such a correct and respectful fulfilled funeral ceremony for years, especially in war. Something strange had happened here in this canyon.

“Pidge, can you hear me, copy.”

Nothing. She checked her com. The signal seemed to be able to leave the canyon, but she couldn’t get a response. She took out her blaster, instantly. A trap. Communication must be jammed. She observed the mist and the milky green walls. But no life, no movement. Dead silence.

“Pidge? Keith? Hunk? … Anyone?”

Suddenly the com was soughing.

“..xa? ..a..s repor.. A.x. we’re loos.ng …. si..al. ..eas repe..”

She cursed a little and tried to climb up some crystals. They cracked and broke under her weight and with shock she recognized the cold biting in her leg. She instantly pressed her hand on the pain but the freezing cold was already cutting on her whole leg. The alarm system of her suit went crazy. She threw her blaster aside and checked the survive belt for the repair kit. But the acid was already working. She felt the foul and burning sour taste in her mouth and her lungs started to burn as well as her eyes. It reminded her of wet rotting moss and leaves combined with the sour burning taste of a vinegar and a little sulfur.

“Emergency call. Suit is damaged. Position Emerald canyon, South-side, two and a half kilometers from rendezvous point.” 

She had found the kit, while she had set up the call. She was nearly sure, that it was already too late, but she had to try. Pidge had been right, something was wrong in this canyon. She ripped out the patch but the cold was already under her skin. She felt so freezing cold. The pain in her leg was gone, but she was sure, that this was only due to the lost of any feeling and control of her left leg. She stumbled and felt on the ground, loosing the patch. Her lungs hurt, and she wasn’t sure, what was biting more, the ice-cold rests of air or the acid.

“Acxa?”

It was Veronica’s voice. She felt, that she was fading, but her voice kept her awake.

“Acxa! What’s happened? Acxa! Your vitals are going down! Acxa! Hold on, we’re coming!

Her sight went smaller and the colors faded like Veronica’s voice. She understood, why some planets reacted the way this one does. It was somehow peaceful. The pain was muffled in a thick fuzzy feeling. 

She recognized a movement. Someone was at her side. Her pains started to return slowly. The fuzz seemed to be vanishing. She recognized panic voices from the team in the com. It seemed, that the communication wasn’t jammed any longer. The person held up his right arm and activated an emergency flare. The signal light rushed higher and higher, switching it’s light constantly from white to red, reflected by the green crystals. A line of thick smoke reached down from the climbing light directly to their position. Strange shadows, created by the light and the crystal structure moved over Acxa. 

The stranger must have placed a patch on the rift, the sharp crystals had caused. The suit managed to stabilize a normal temperature within, but it also meant, that her feeling returned to her leg and with them her pain. But the filters had collapsed. The air in the suit was contaminated with the acid. Acxa started to cough dry and heavy as her breath went faster and deeper. She suddenly felt a sting at her waist. The stranger had rammed a injection in her side. He pulled it out ungentle and fixed the damage at the suit with with another patch. She wasn’t sure, what he had done, but breathing got easier and her pains were pushed aside. Acxa shared looks with the person and the emergency flare. The light had climbed high above the canyon and stayed at place now, blinking bright in red and white. A clear signal. For friend and foe. 

She turned her head to search for her weapon but suddenly the stranger held her blaster before her helmet, targeting her head. She was frozen at the spot, but he flipped the weapon in his hand so that the hilt was now before her face. She took it slowly and the person nodded. She realized, that the visor of the strangers helmet was reflecting her appearance. He took defending stand as well, kneeling down beside her. He had put up a plasma rifle. It was absolutely quiet. The dying atmosphere wasn’t dense enough anymore to carry the sonic proper to them. But she recognized flashes from the north. And these flashes came closer. She felt the rumble in the earth. Shock-waves spread out through the ground, tickling in her stomach. 

The stranger started to shoot suddenly in the darkness. Acxa didn’t see anything, but the person seemed to have targets. It was no frantic shooting, not a kind of fire to pin an enemy down. It were controlled blasts, alternated between targets, only her defender seemed to notice. And then she heard the muffled sound of fighters. The rays of the Galra guns cut through the dark, but missed them barely. She hadn’t done a shoot yet, but with her simple blaster she would only draw more attention, but wouldn’t do any damage to the fighter. The mist was blown away buy the machine, swirling in yellow curls beside its wings. The stranger kept targeting the machine and place a powered up shot. 

A perfect hit. 

The capsule of the fighter cracked and the pilot must have been hit. The machine was ripped up high suddenly and was turning fast spirals. The fighter broke out to the left side and crushed in the walls of the canyon, exploding in a blazing fireball. The burning ball spitted out broken pieces of the fighter and of the walls and it started to rain fire. The stranger jumped over Acxa, covering her with his body. She was surprised of this heroic but hopelessly useless try, to protect her from this deadly rain. Only luck would rescue them from this inferno, but a sudden blue glow proved her wrong. A shield covered both, as a burning fragment of the fighter crashed on their spot. The piece bounced away from the glowing shield. The stranger pushed quickly on a part of his belt at his side to remove a smoking energy cell. With skilled moves he threw away the old cell and placed a new one in his suit. Two another explosions created walls of fire near the ground. The hot rain of fragments and fire must have hit two other fighters or had caused them to crash against each other. Whatever it was, the result was the doom for the machines. 

But the stranger was still alarmed. And he was right. It seemed that the pilots of the two machines had used an emergency escape and both landed before the fire wall pulling out blasters to attack. The unknown person started to run towards the enemies, and Acxa was surprised. He was much faster, than she had expected and obviously he had surprised the other Galras as well. They started to shoot at him, but he managed to dodge the attacks. He had chosen a way to approach the pilots, that their shooting wouldn’t put Acxa in danger. Both threw away their blasters and grabbed their swords to attack him. Acxa gasped in surprise. The stranger ducked away under the skilled strike of the first pilot. He got a good grip on the wrist of the stretched sword arm. With a painful twist he turned the hand back, and got control of the sword, while he jumped over the baffled Galra. He landed behind the pilot and instantly kicked him in the back of his knee in order to bring him down. While the pilot was breaking down, he placed a hard strike with the sword against the second Galra, who tried to defend his comrade. The blow let the alien stumble and the stranger used the time to turn the sword in his hand back and with a fluid motion he stung backwards, without turning around. The blade found precisely the first pilot, who felt over after Acxa’s defender had brought the sword back in front of him. He blocked the rageful blow the second Galra and pushed the enemies sword up high with the block. A quick and powerful motion from the sword down the Galra finished the second enemy instantly. 

He kept standing for a moment, frozen in his last motion, until he relaxed and started to walk back to Acxa. She looked closer at her defender. The suit was custom made. It seemed to be a former suit of a planet defense team. Acxa remembered, that she had seen suits like this before, but this one was uses and repaired many times and the shield had proven, that its owner must have done a lot of modifications. He picked up his rifle and hung them over the shoulder. The person looked southward. Acxa turned her head and she saw the green lion approaching. The way, the atmosphere absorbed and alternated the sounds was so strange. She turned back to her defender.

“Thank you.”

It sounded much weaker and rougher, than she had expected. The acid must have done more damage, than she had expected. The stranger put a hand on his helmet and his visor became lucent. A face of a young human man appeared behind it. His left eye was replaced by an bionic implant. It was definitely Galran heritage, but it seemed to be modified. Acxa felt a shiver running down her spine. Loathing was in his eye as he faced her look. But then he turned his head down to his side and the scorn was replaced by a strong bitterness, Acxa had never seen before. He had closed his remaining eyes and his lip was quivering.

“I haven’t done it for you.” 

He turned away from her and he must have activated his own communicator. 

“Freyda. Voltron is here. We can evacuate.”

He walked back to the dead pilots. She kept watching him, while Pigde left the lion and ran to her side. 

“Acxa! Easy, don’t move! Axca, I got you, we must be fast, I think the whole planet knows, that we’re here.”

Acxa didn’t react. She kept focused on the stranger. Pidge recognized her look and it seemed, that she finally got aware of the stranger and the mess of burning wrecks in the canyon. Her voice was shocked and baffled.

“What happened? Who is this and… What is he doing?”

Acxa’s eyes widened in surprise. The stranger hit his chest with crossed fists and lowered his head before each dead pilot. A Galran gesture of respect for the dead. Then the man got down on his knees and started to prepare the dead pilots.

“He’s doing the proper rites to honor the dead and guide the warriors souls.”

Acxa’s voice was trembling. He must have done the same for the patrol. Pidge shared questioning looks with the wounded Galra and the stranger.

“But how… and why…?”

Acxa stayed quiet. She didn’t know.

“We must secure this area a bit longer. We’re awaiting refugees.”

This announcement ripped Pidge out of her questions. She helped Acxa up and guided her back to the lion. The Galra turned her head back and ignored the incoming questions and messages about her status and what has happened. Suddenly she recognized a heavy door at the side of the canyon. It must have been hidden before by a cloaking device. The door opened and a group of seven people left the wall of the canyon.

“Pidge.”

Acxa nodded in the direction. The peoples steps were frightened and uneasy.

“Hey, over here. Don’t worry. We’re from Voltron. We’ll help you. Get into the lion, we’ll fly you out.”

Almost all of the group started to come closer. Acxa saw Pidge’s sad face as six people got closer. It were all kids or teenager, four girls and two boys, all in improvised survival suits. She started to chew her cheek. War has done no good to them, obviously. But the last person walked over to the stranger. Acxa suggested, that due to the movements, it must be a high grown woman. Her eyes widened, as she recognized a little child in her arms. She was nearly at the ramp of the lion, when the woman reached the stranger. She was taller than the man. She laid one arm around his shoulder and tended her head aside until her helmet touched his. The last thing Acxa recognized was his hand getting a grip on hers on his shoulder, before she was too high up the ramp of the green lion.


	2. Heavy Load

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know, how advanced robot technology is on earth in this universe, I've decided to let this robot be something special for earthen technology. I hope it fits in.

Acxa did a deep breath and welcomed the clean oxygen. Pidge had brought her to a decontamination shower, had given her a new suit and had placed her behind her pilot seat, after the acid was off from her. She had given her an respiration mask and extra oxygen, to make breathing easier. The young paladin has returned to the teenager to check them, if they needed any further help. After some deep breaths the Galra pushed herself back on her feet. Whatever the stranger had given her, it was still fighting successfully her pains and so she decided to try to help Pidge. They weren’t out of danger until they were back on the Atlas. She shambled back to the hangar, where the kids were about to find a save seat for the flight. 

Big eyes were scanning the surrounding with great astonishment but also with a little fear. Pidge was busy with belting a boy, who looked like five or six. Two of the big girls, both between twelve and fourteen were helping the other boy and girl to take seat as well. The boy must have been ten, the girl nine or eight. Acxa wasn’t sure. She had recognized, that she seemed to have an good eye for guessing the right age of a child or a person, but she still completely trusted her ability when it comes to humans.

“’ou, are outchy?”

Acxa winced at these words. She looked down with surprise and watched in the green eyes of a little girl, about two or three years of age. The guessing eyes of her were warm and friendly. She pointed at the wounded leg. The girl must have noticed, that Acxa was shambling. The acid and the cold has damaged her skin, but she was sure that no scars would remain, when she had received full medical service at the Atlas. Not like the poor girl. A heavy scar was almost all over the little face from her chin up to her left eyebrow. She seemed to noticed Acxa’s scanning look, cause she pointed on her own scar.

“Me outchy, too. Many outchies.”

Acxa couldn’t suppress her tears from floating her eyes. What has war done to those kids. The child suddenly took her hand and pulled carefully at her to convince her to got down on her knees. It was complicated with her hurt leg but she obeyed this gesture. The child took a step to her and Acxa’s eyes widened in total surprise, as the girl started to rub gently her horns with one hand, while she was still holding Acxa's hand. 

“Outchy better?”

Acxa’s look was full of questions and surprise. She recognized the others in the hangar, who had all stopped, what they had done before and were now observing Acxa and the girl. Pidge was crying silently. But also the other kids were touched by this gesture. But it was also obvious, that they were also reminded of their own scars as well, by this little dialogue. The little child kept on soothingly rubbing the base of her horns, where her skin ended and her horns began.

“She had seen Ronan doing this with Freyda and Tjaàl.”

“Pat…!”

The angry hissing of the oldest girl let the boy shut his mouth, instantly. He looked embarrassed to the ground, while the girl checked the belts of the boy with an angry face. She avoided the questioning look from Acxa. So the woman closed her eyes and let the soothing tickle warm her for a moment. So the name of her savior was Ronan. She also realized, why the moves of the tall woman and the name, Ronan had spoken in his com were so familiar for her. She must be also a Galra. And the child, the woman had carried must be Tjaàl. But what about these children. Acxa opened her eyes again and gave the little kid a warm and thankful smile.

“Yes, better.”

She hesitated a moment, but then she gently rubbed with her thumb over the forehead of the child, taking care, that her claws didn’t scratch the soft skin of the child. 

“I’m Acxa.”

A beaming smile was the reward for this gesture and the kid ran with a chuckling laughter over to the big girls. Their faces were a mixture of worries and mistrust. How does this all fits together?

Pidge must have had the same question. She walked over to the little girl and helped her on a seat. 

“Are Ronan and Freyda your mommy and daddy?”

It was a obvious question, and Acxa was sure, that Pidge had no intention to cut in open wounds, but the result was shocking for her. Big tears started to grew in the child’s eyes and the kid started to cry desperately. The oldest girl sprinted over to the child and took her into her arms, while Pidge shambled back with shock and sadness in her face. The burning anger in the eyes of the girl made her tears falling as well.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to…”

Pidge earned only a second angry look for her stammered apologize. The girl switched her focus back on the crying child, who had buried her face on the neck and shoulder of the girl.

“Hey, Kathy… It’s gonna be alright.”

Pidge and Acxa watched the girl rubbing the back of the child. Her cries tortured both. It didn’t seemed, that anyone could help her in her desperation. But suddenly the Galra took a deep breath and walked over to the child. The kid hadn’t any horns, because she was human, but Acxa carefully placed her fingers at the head of the crying child, where she would assume the horns of a Galran kid and started to rub small circles. She felt the extreme pensive observation of the girl, who was holding Kathy. The cries of the child eased instantly. So Acxa started to hum a soothing melody as well. It was a quite tone, but her humming filled the hangar with this warm and soothing sound. She hadn’t thought about it, the melody came naturally to her. It was a melody, she had nearly forgotten. The cries of the kid got better with every warming tone of the melody. 

Suddenly a second female voice joined the humming. The kid looked up and also the rest turned to the door of the hangar. A high grown person with a little child on her arms was at the end of the ramp and came closer. The kid stopped crying, finally. The girl, who had hold her, placed Kathy on the ground and the child ran towards the person, who got down on her knees and hugged the kid. The oldest girl came to her as well and the person handed her the little child. 

“Thank you, Jessy. Please, help Tjaàl out of the suit, I take care of Kathy.”

It was a dark but gentle female voice. Jessy nodded at her and opened the little helmet. The face of an older baby approached under the helmet. The skin of the child had a slight purple color and Acxa and Pidge noticed the first signs, where the horns would grow some day. The baby was cooing toward the teenager. The woman put her hands on her helmet and pulled it off as well. The scared face of a young Galran woman approached. Fine lines were to be seen on the deep purple skin of her forehead and on her right cheek. Her long lilac hair was in a braid, which was curled up to a knot on the back of her head. Her golden-yellow eyes scanned the hangar with a warm look for all of the kids. Then she took up Kathy and walked over to Pidge. The Paladin was still shocked and embarrassed about her mistake. It seemed, that the Galra had listened what had happened not even a minute before. Her golden eyes fixed the Paladin like a burning ray, but Pidge withstood the soul-piercing look. But she felt obviously sorry and uncomfortable. The corners of her eyes were still glittering with tears.   
The Galra woman turned her look to Kathy and watched the kid deep in the eyes. Also the kid kept focused on the woman. It was a warm and gently look, but yet not less strong. Suddenly the kid turned to Pidge and the Galra got down on her knees to close the gap between Kathy and Pidge.

Pidge didn’t know what to do. Both, the woman and Kathy seemed to expect a reaction. She got nervous, but suddenly she understood, that no words were needed right now. With shaking hands she reached out for the head of the child and placed carefully her fingers at the same point, Acxa had placed them before. Then she started to rub small circles as well. A little smile rushed over the face of the kid and Pidge released a gasp, she hadn’t knew, that she had hold before. She got her voice back and smiled back as well.

“I’m sorry, Kathy. Better now?”

Kathy nodded at her and the Galra got up again.

“Ronan is almost finished with the funereal ceremony. And Amrasu is also back.”

It was more addressed to the kids, but it was also an information for Acxa and Pidge.

“Enemy forces are also on their way. All of you, get a save seat, It’ll be a rocky ride.”

The other girls took seat as well and the Galra handed Kathy over to Acxa. Her eyes widened in surprise, and she gave the woman a totally baffled look.

“It’ll be safer for you, to have her support.”

Pidge hadn’t recognized it, because she was busy with preparation for take off, but Acxa. This quote was for her and not for Kathy. She frowned at the serious look, she got from the woman.

“Sorry, this was all a little hasty. I’m Pidge, you must be Freyda, right?”

The Galra turned to her and nodded. The emotionless reaction left the Paladin with a slight uncomfortable feeling, but she continued with her questions.

“Okay, nice to meet you too. I have one question. Who is Amrasu?”

The Galra simply turned her head to the ramp. At this moment a spider-like robot came up the ramp. The machine had the size of a really big desk. The eight legs of the robot, were equipped with various weapon systems. The big round body of the machine was over and over covered with bumps, dimples and scratches in the dark brushed metal. A combined sensor unit was on the top of the body. Pidge eyes started to glow in great excitement.

“Oh. My. Gosh. I get it. This is an Advanced Medical Rescue And Support Unit. It was an highly experimental robot system to support all kind of colonies and exploration teams on deep space missions. Only three units were build of these ones and the they got all lost. I have never expected to see one of these babies with my own eyes.”

She rushed over to the machine, which has stopped in the middle of the hangar. The camera and sensor unit turned toward Pidge. The Paladin bowed down before one leg, mesmerized by the design. She focused on the legs of the robot, which were made of many similar movable sub-units. This construction gave the robot legs an extraordinary flexibility.

“These legs were designed to handle heavy terrain, but also to use all different kind of tools and for interactions. The body has room to stock different kind of tools, so that the unit can alternate between different equipment in field. But what makes these units so unique is the high advanced artificial neuron system.”

She gave Acxa a beaming smile, the half-Galra only returned with a face, that showed a lack of understanding. But Kathy smiled warm at Pidge’s obviously shown excitement.

“Artificial intelligence.”

A tired male voice made everyone turn around. Ronan has also entered the hangar, followed by two chain-wheeled containers. Pidge also welcomed him with a beaming smile. She was still stuck in her curiosity for the machine.

“Exactly. These machines were designed to learn and to make own decisions, if necessary in order to support people. But this one is highly customized. I have never heard of, that they were build to carry weapon systems as well.”

Ronan put off his helmet as well and released a sarcastic snort. Acxa noticed, that the bionic eye was definitely Galran, but also customized. His face was scared and parts of his blond hair on his left was missing. Some nearly vanished burning marks on his left side told her the reasons for his missing eye and hair. Pidge shared astonished looks with the man and the robot, which had taken guarding position before the kids. Ronan had walked over to Freyda and both gave each other a kiss and the Galra rested her forehead against his. The Paladin was about to ask further questions, when some hits shook the lion.

“Sorry, it seems, party is over. All of you, get a seat, we have to start now.”

Pidge closed her visor and sprinted back to her pilot seat. Acxa shambled with Kathy to another seat. She passed by Ronan, who had taken Tjaàl from Jessy. His look was colder than the planet, but it softened as Kathy smiled at him. The little girl had laid her arm around Acxas neck and to her surprise she leaned her head on her cheek. 

“It seems, that Kathy likes you.”

His voice was emotionless. Acxa shared a look with Kathy, who smiled warm at her. Then she turned back to Ronan, who was holding Tjaàl.

“I do agree with your interpretation.”

He nodded cold at her.

“Then you’re in luck. I only know one person, who is more picky with trust.” He faced her with a dangerous look. “Me.”

Then he passed her and took seat beside Freyda. Acxa had to shiver. For a second, there was a burning hate in his eye for her. Kathy also followed his way with her eyes. Acxa winced a little as she recognized the tiny fingers at her horns again. The kid seemed to have recognized the tension between Ronan and her and the way, his look was worrying her. So she had started the soothing rubbing again.

Like Freyda had suggested, it became a rough ride back to the Atlas, but Acxa didn’t recognized much of it. The gentle soothing rubs of the child was all she focused on until the movements of the child slowly stopped. It took Acxa a while, until she recognized, that Kathys hand rested limp on her head and that the child got heavier. She took a look at her and her eyes widened in surprise. She hadn’t realized, that she had also started to rub and stroke the head of the child again and so the girl has fallen asleep in her arms. She felt the pensive looks of Ronan and Freyda on her and she looked up to face their eyes. Again the former seen bitterness approached in Ronans face and the man turned away, but the Galra kept looking at her. And then she nodded an approval to her. Acxa took a look at the sleeping kid and then back to Freyda and a little smile came to her face. She nodded back. 

Thankfully.


	3. Treatment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Galran words and the idea behind it are my own imagination and interpretation of Galran culture and language. I hope they fit in. I also have no clue how much Keith knows about these aspects. In this story here, he will have a basic knowledge, more than the others of the team (beside Acxa, of cause) but not enough to understand every word and every aspect of the culture. I hope this is a fitting choice for him.

“Acxa, you’re alright!”

Veronica rushed in the treatment room and pulled the half-Galra in a squeezing hug. Hunk, Keith and Allura also came through the door. Veronica kissed Acxa with tears of joy in her eyes. The Galra placed a hand on Veronicas neck and after their lips finally parted she pulled the head of her girlfriend at hers, receiving the warm comforting touch of her hands on her blue cheeks.

“The others?”

A shadow rushed over the faces. Acxa noticed, that the arrival of these children had shocked the team. As they had received unusual signals from the planet, they were send out to check it. As they arrived, they had found Haggar’s troops at the final phase of the harvest. Nevertheless, they had sneaked through their defense to get more informations. They hadn’t expected Galran presence in this sector and they had no clue, that a harvest was already finished. They also hadn’t expected to find any survivors. Pidge had received some strange thermal signatures from the valley, so she had checked them further. And now they were back with this strange group of refugees. 

“The medical team is checking the kids. They seem to be in a good condition, due to the circumstances. Ronan and Freyda are with them to help.”

Allura’s voice was weak and sad.

“Who are they and why were they down on this dying planet?”

Hunk’s voice was filled with worried curiosity. Allura’s face darkened even more.

“I haven’t talked much with Ronan and Freyda, yet. All they had told me is, that the six human kids were orphans, they had rescued form the destroyed colony. They haven’t left their side, since they have set a foot here on the Atlas and they observe every step, the medical staff does, pensively.”

“They don’t trust us.”

Keith was leaning with his back at the wall of the treatment room. He had crossed his arms before his chest and his chin was resting on it as well, while he shared his suggestion with the group with closed eyes. 

All looks were on him now and Acxa nodded at him.

“That’s right. And especially Ronan doesn’t trust me.”

All eyes switched on Acxa now. Veronicas face was full of surprised shock, but then bitterness and sadness replaced her former expression. She pulled Acxa in another hug. The Galran cursed herself silently. It seemed, that her face had shown signs of hurt, caused by the former shown hate from Ronan.

\- I haven’t done it for you. -

These words were ringing in her head. She kept quiet, that the mistrust seemed to be the minor problem for her. He had saved her and protected her with his own life, but not for her. He had done it for the kids. And for Freyda. And Tjaàl. His wife and child, Acxa assumed.

“But it doesn’t make sense. His partner is a Galra. I would understand, if he would mistrust Galras in general, but in this case…?”

Hunk was scratching the back of his head. He blushed a bit and looked embarrassed to the ground.

“Sorry Acxa, no offense, really.”

She nodded at him. She couldn’t blame him. It was a logical suggestion and it made only more obvious, that this must be something very personal. She was sure, that she had never seen this man before. But he had remembered her. And Acxa was sure, that he had classified her as an enemy. Suddenly the door opened again and Freyda entered with Kathy at her hand. The child smiled happy at Acxa and rushed to the half-Galra to hug her with a joyful smile. Acxa noticed the surprised looks of the others. Especially Veronicas eyes had instantly seemed to double their size. But one face after another melted into a teary touched smile. Freyda also smiled a little.

“She had asked for you.”

Acxa’s eyes got a wet glitter. She pushed the child back, gently and returned the warm smile of the kid. Kathy carefully stroke over her former hurt leg.

“Outchy gone?”

Acxa nodded with a smile at her. The child stayed focused on her renewed skin. The half-Galra scanned again the deep scar on the kids face. She placed her hand on the side of the kids head and Kathy turned to her, facing Acxa’s look with her green eyes.

“Yes.” She rubbed gently and carefully with her thumb over the part of the scar, which was to be found on the kids forehead. “But I also wouldn’t mind, if a part of it would still be there.”

Tears came back to the eyes of the child, but her smile remained. She pulled Acxa in another hug. 

It was the final signal for Hunk to burst out in tears resting his head on Allura’s shoulder. The Altean woman didn’t mind it. Her tears were also running down her cheeks. Keith had turned away to hide his own teary eyes. Freyda also seemed to be touched. She observed the scene with a gentle smile. Veronica also had wet eyes and she took Acxa’s hand to squeeze it. Kathy recognized the gesture and turned her head to Veronica.

“Who are ‘ou?”

Veronica smiled warm at the kid.

“I’m Veronica. And you are?”

The kid tended her head to one side.

“Kathy.” A sparkle came to her eyes. She shared looks between Acxa and Veronica. “Amarzzaries!”

A warm chuckle escaped the little mouth and she beamed joyful at Acxa and Veronica. The woman, Hunk and Allura looked at each other with a lack of understanding, but Acxa had taken a surprised gasp and also Keith’s eyes had widened in surprise. Freyda seemed to be amused of the reactions, Kathy had caused. She smiled at the child.

“What does she mean?”

Veronica had noticed the look on Acxa’s face. The half-Galra was still watching the kid with surprise. She turned her head to Veronica and her mouth stood still open a bit.

“It’s a Galran word. The translation for it is ‘Lovers’ or ‘Partners’.”

The kid nodded, still smiling at both. Freyda walked over to her and rested her hand on the head of the child.

“Come Kathy. The others are waiting. You see, Acxa is alright.”

The little girl looked up to Freyda and nodded. But she turned back at Acxa and Veronica.

“’ou look happy, like Ronan and Fre’da.”

For the first time the Galran woman blushed a bit. Acxa noticed it instantly and she looked at Veronica. She smiled at her girlfriend and turned back to Kathy.

“I am.”

The kid nodded again and turned around with Freyda to leave the room.

“When can we talk with you and Ronan about everything?”

Allura’s voice was gentle but also filled with a little impatience. The fact, that Haggar’s troops were harvesting quintessence in this sector still bothered her and the team as well. Answers were needed, but also some rest. Freyda stopped in the doorway. She didn’t turn around but her head dropped a bit down.

“Later, when the kids are sleeping.”

She finally turned her head back and faced Allura’s look.

“With me, not with Ronan.” 

Her face was deeply worried. 

“He needs rest. A lot. He hasn’t slept since...” 

She hesitated and signs of grief rushed over her face. 

“He needs to sleep a lot.”

“You’re worried about him.”

Acxa’s quote brought a warning shine in the eyes of the Galra. She faced Acxa’s look and it seemed, that her eyes started to melt a whole through her skull.

“More than you may realize. Fazzum voz vocaz.”

Acxas blood ran cold at this quote. The color faded from her face. The others shared questioning looks between the Galras. Acxa nodded weak at Freyda.

“Aszivi.”

The woman nodded back and left the room. The complete focus returned to Acxa, who was pale. Her hands trembled and it took a moment to realize the worried looks.

“Okay, this was even too much Galran for me. What has she said to you?”

Keith looked worried at Acxa, but the woman ignored the question. She stood up and headed to the door as well. She addressed her answer to all of them, while she left the the treatment room.

“Nothing of your business.”

The others shared worried looks and the eyes rested finally on Veronica. The woman was shocked as well. She didn’t know either, what Freyda had said to Acxa, but her reaction had tightened her chest. 

“I’ll ask her this evening.”

She only hoped, that Acxa would talk with her, when they were in private.

 

oOo

 

Acxa has stormed to hers and Veronicas room. She rushed to a closet and pushed the button on the side of it, to open the doors. With a hissing sound, the closet opened. She got down on her knees to open a big chest. Under a lot of clothes she finally found, what she was looking for. A Galran dagger. She placed it carefully at her belt. It has took months to left this one finally behind. To dare to make her way through the Atlas without fearing an attack. To trust the team around her. But now, she needed it again.

\- Fate is calling. -

She was thankful for this warning. Within the last years, a lot of Galras seemed to have forgotten to honor the old rules of demanding rightful revenge. But it seemed to her, that Ronan and Freyda knew them very well. And they respected them. Just like she did. She didn’t knew why, but she had acknowledged the call to Freyda. She had bought herself time to find answers for some questions. But she had also accepted the challenge. Within the next days she had to talk with him about the terms and circumstances, otherwise the hunt on her would be opened.


	4. Needed Rest

He stroke gently over Jessy’s blond short hair. She was the last of the kids, who finally has fallen asleep in their new big quarter. She hadn’t rest until all the others were in bed and sleeping. After that she had went with Ronan in the other room and had cried for an hour in his arms. This was all too much for her in the end. She had talked, he had listened. About the day, her relief, her fears, her lost, about everything, which has shaken her so deeply within this moment. She had asked him, if he would stay with her until she would sleep, and he had done so. 

Patrick was whimpering in sleep, obviously struggling with another nightmare. Like so many other nights before. Christina was holding him tight and Ronan wasn’t sure, if his big sister was trying the ease his nightmares or her own during her sleep. Sam, Clarissa and Kathy shared the last king size bed. At least these three children seemed to have a more peaceful night. They had all lost so much. He rubbed his remaining eye. He was so deadly tired. But he knew, that even in sleep he wouldn’t find rest and peace. He wasn’t sure, if he would ever find it again. 

He knew, that Freyda has approached in the doorway. He turned around to watch her silhouette. The dim light of the living room was shining around her, while she was leaning on the frame. She was wearing a sleeveless white shirt and dark trousers with boots. Her golden eyes were glowing like gemstones. These beautiful eyes. He has fallen for her, because of these eyes. He has fallen for her gentle and strong character. He has fallen for her smiles and her laughter. He has fallen for her ability to see through him with one observant look. And he felt guilty for this. It wasn’t fair. For none of them.

“Jessy is asleep?”

He loved her deep soothing voice so much. He turned his head back to the girl and stroke carefully again over her head. He nodded with a tired sigh. He could see Freyda's warm smile on her lips, as he turned back to the doorway. She reached out her right arm to order him to come to her. He had to smile and gladly obeyed this order. He closed the distance between them and as he reached her, the Galra pulled him in a gentle but close hug, bringing her hands on his neck and sharing a long and deep kiss with him. While they shared this kiss he started to slide gentle with his fingertips of his hand up and down her bare arms. He recognized the burning marks on them. These old scars, he had helped her to heal. But they were still hurting him. Sometimes he wasn’t sure, if the memories, these scars had encapsulated, were hurting him more, than they did her. Probably not, but they added a weight on his own pain, which made him almost break sometimes. But he wouldn’t. He has sworn an oath. And this oath has to be fulfilled.

She ended her kiss finally and rested her head on his. Both took a final look inside the room, where the kids were sleeping. Then she pulled him carefully in the living room.

“Tjaàl?”

She smiled again at his question.

“Sleeping peaceful in our room.”

She gave him a gentle kiss on his forehead.

“You should take some sleep, too”

She pressed her own forehead down against his and his hand reached up to rub gently over her curled horns. Both closed their eyes for a while, consuming the love, they shared.

“Not now. We have to talk with them first. And I have to check AMRASU. And we need to check the maps, where a save planet can be found for us and...”

“And you need to sleep first!”

Her voice was worried and he knew her look. This was no point of discussion for her. These deep yellow-golden shiny eyes. Resistance was futile. But he had to.

“I know. But they have questions. Haggar’s troops came out of nowhere. So I must…

“You. Must. Sleep.”

Her voice was harder now. Harder but even more worried. He hasn’t slept enough for months. And he hasn’t barely taken even a nap for weeks. This lack of sleep should have normally killed him. Either by total exhaustion or by loosing strength, sharp reflexes or agility in combat, but it hadn’t. He had an idea, why he still could handle this lack of rest. And Freyda, too. Ronan was sure, that her knowledge was one reason, why she worried so much. Both still didn’t know his limits in this case, but she seemed to fear that when this limit would be reached one day, it would break him. He sighed again. She was right. But he also. And she knew it.

“I’ll talk with them. And I’ll check everything for you. We’re not in danger anymore.”

Her face had a warm smile again. He took her hand and pressed it on his left cheek. His skin seemed to vibrate, where her hand touched it.

“But also we’re not out of it, yet.” Tears came to his remaining eye. “Especially you. Not here.” His face became tortured. “I can’t loose you, Freyda. What if...”

She pulled him into another hug.

“You won’t. I can protect myself, if necessary.”

He sobbed finally into her chest.

“But you shouldn’t have to worry about those things.”

Tears came to Freyda's eyes as well.

“Neither should you. But that’s what things are right now. So we have to deal with it.”

She kissed him on his head and lifted up his face up to watch him in his eye.

“I can’t loose you, too, Ronan. Neither Tjaàl. We need you. They need you” She nodded back to the door, where the other kids were sleeping. “So please. Rest. For me.”

It was the final argument. Ronan was glad, that she didn’t used it often. Because it was an argument, what always worked. He would do anything for her. He kissed her again and stood up. He looked so tired.

“For you.”

He nodded and shambled towards the second sleeping room.

“The General has received your message from me.”

He was frozen on spot. A dangerous fire was in his remaining brown eye. He didn’t turned around, but he felt Freydas look on his neck.

“How had she reacted.”

Freyda noticed, that he had made fists with both hands.

“With honor.”

A bitter laughter escaped his mouth. Sarcasm was in it. It almost dipped off the walls in the room.

“Good.”

He took two further steps, but he stopped again. He still felt the pensive look on his back.

“You think, I shouldn’t have done so?”

His voice was trembling a bit. He almost could see the worries return to Freyda's face, but he kept staring in the dark doorway of the second sleeping room.

“No.” 

It was the kind of break, where he knew, that she wasn’t finished. He felt her burning look on the back of his head again. This scanning rays, he loved so much. He was sure, that she knew, how much she was guiding him every day. How this ability to almost read his mind prevented him from loosing orientation. To get lost in his own grief, anger and sadness. How she helped him to fulfill his oath, not to loose this important goal. How she saved him every day only with one deep burning looks of this bright eyes. He was starving for this guidance in this moment, and she knew it as well. That’s why she was waiting to continue. This gentle but strong patience. He took a deep breath and turned back to her, facing her golden orbs. Seconds passed and he was drowning in her mesmerizing eyes. He recognized a slight nod, suddenly. She had seen, what she wanted to see.

“But you haven’t answered this question for yourself.”

He bit his bottom lip. She smiled at him again, to push away these thought in his mind. At least for tonight. She wanted him to rest.

She walked slowly over to him and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek, before she took her jacket and finally opened the door of their quarter. AMRASU was waiting before the door. The robot has left its place in the hangar, where it has waited, since they had reached the Atlas. She turned back to Ronan with an impish smile, raising an eyebrow. Ronan stayed serious.

“Take AMRASU with you.” He took a short break, to smile warm at her. “I can sleep better, if I know, that he’s at your side.”

She shook her head with a giggle.

“You only want to have an eye and ear on the meeting.”

His smile got warmer.

“Maybe. But only in case, I cannot find any sleep at all.”

She nodded at him with a smile and left the room, followed by the robot. Ronan shambled to the bed, finally. He laid down in the soft pillows, after he had checked Tjaàls sleep. He was asleep, before his eyelid has closed completely.


	5. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The part in italics is a dream sequence.

_The ground was shaken by the hits of the bombs, the Galran ships dropped on the colony. But it was a strange fire, which swallowed, buildings, vehicles and people. It burned hotter, with more rage, uncontrollable. It seems, that the purple flames were hunting their victims through the streets. The smell of burning plants, plastic and flesh filled his nose. The outer defense line was broken, the shield had collapsed under this new kind of bombs. The defense batteries were scrapped and molten down. The colony has fallen, but the rage within the Galran attacks only increased. They had resisted longer, than these aliens had assumed. Now they had to pay the price. He ran through the streets, haunted by the flames and the terror. Any order was broken, Any resistance crushed, but the bombs felt on. The hot firestorm was howling and screaming, demanding more lives with this horrible noise. And these remaining lives tried desperately to escape this inferno. And he was one of them. He heard little babies crying. He heard someone screaming his name. He would never forget this voice. The panic grew in him_

_“Ronan!”_

 

He was up instantly, taking attack position. But Jessy was simply cradling Tjaàl, who was crying. But his cries went better. Kathy was with tired eyes at her side as well. Grief and compassion was in Jessie’s look, while Ronan left his position and walked over to her to take the baby. She handed him Tjaàl and closed her arms around him to hug him. She knew, that he have had an nightmare again. He must have screamed during sleep. Freyda was able to prevent him, from doing that, but she hasn’t returned yet. So his screams must have woken up the others. Kathy was also hugging his leg. The three simply stood there for a while until Tjaàl stopped crying. He looked thankful at Jessy and was about to say something, but she just shook her head with a warm smile.

“No need to be sorry.”

He pressed her head thankfully at his chest.

“Can I look Acxa?”

Both watched Kathy with surprise. The child was pulling at his trousers. The tired child recognized the questioning looks from Ronan and Jessy.

“She got outchy, too. So she got bad dreams too.”

Ronan’s face went dark. He stated to stare a hole in the wall, so Jessy got down on her knees.

“Kathy, why do you want to see her?”

The kids eyes got wet. She blushed and started to turn her right foot nervously on spot. Jessy bit her lip. She had recognized Kathys first meeting with Acxa in the lion. And she had seen it as well. She had seen, how Kathy had watched her. And it seemed, that Ronan had also recognized it. She placed a soft kiss on Kathy’s forehead.

“You really seem to like her.”

Kathy nodded at her with a shy smile.

“Yes. She knows melody, too.”

Jessy’s eyes got teary. She gently stroke over the head of the kid. Ronan had closed his eye. He was breathing heavily. The big girls shared helpless looks between Kathy and Ronan. She had recognized how he had reacted at Acxa. And she had a suggestion for the reasons. And she also feared the bunch of problems, this unexpected meeting has started to pile up.

“Please. Help stopping bad dreams.”

There it was again. The kind of argument, he couldn’t resist. She definitely got talent in pushing the right buttons. Jessy could see him melting. She was melting as well, but she knew, that he had to struggle harder.

“Go back to bed, I’ll take Kathy to her.”

So she bowed down to Kathy, who was beaming at her.

“Wait at the door for me, okay?”

Kathy hugged her tight and faced Ronan. He sighed and bowed down, to give her a kiss on her forehead. She smiled at him ad ran out of the room.

“You have seen her smile.”

Jessy nodded at Ronan’s question. She knew, what he was up to. The last time, she had seen her smiling this way, was before she had lost her mother. She didn’t know, if she should be happy or mad about this fact. This were her family. Like all the others, she was thrown in this family in the most horrible way, but it was such a loving and caring one. She wasn’t even sure, if Acxa knew, what she had done to her. What feelings she had woke up in this child. Kathy had somehow closed this Galra in her heart as well, like she had done with Freyda, Ronan and the others. And herself. But this only made things complicated. Jessy gave Ronan a worried look. The nastiest scars are always invisible for regular eyes. She would warn her. This person seemed to have hurt Ronan badly. If she would hurt Kathy, then she should better sleep always with open eyes for the rest of her life.

She was about to left the room, when Ronan’s voice made her stop.

“If she wants to stay and you think, it’s save...” He took a deep breath. “...Let her do so.”

She nodded at him, but her stomach was cramping. He put her needs before his own. Like he always did. For all of them. She had no clue, what gave him the strength to do this. Due to everything, she knew about his past, she had a slight vision, how much this decision must gnaw on his soul. She was sure, that all this was about to torn him in pieces, sooner or later. He must have recognized her worried look.

“You look at me like Freyda before.”

She faced his look.

“It would worry me more, if she hasn’t.”

A warm smile rushed over his lips.

“Yes, me too.”

There it was. His smiles. He has smiled not enough for a long time. She nodded at him.

“Rest, Ronan. For one night at least let Freyda and me take care of us.”

His breathing got easier. He kissed Tjaàl and placed him carefully back in the cradle. Then he turned back to Jessy with a teary smile.

“But you shouldn’t need to worry about these things.”

She smiled back with tears in her eyes.

“Neither should you, Ronan. This all isn’t fair, but all we can do is to deal with it.”

A laughter escaped his mouth. The kind of laughter, she couldn’t resist to join in. The joyful sound warmed Jessy’s heart. She wished, they had more occasions to laugh like this.

“And now you sound like Freyda.”

She smirked back to him.

“Good, then I know, I have made myself clear.”

He smiled thankfully at her.

“Goodnight Ronan.”

He was asleep, before Jessy had reached Kathy to left the quarter.


	6. Dark Reasons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !WARNING! This chapter contains mentioning of torture, violence against children and an raping attempt (NO DETAILS, of cause, for none of these aspects), to make it short, it contains some of the cruel aspects, war could cause.

It was a smaller meeting room, where Shiro and the Paladins have gathered. They were waiting for Freyda. All of them had taken seat on an oval table. Ten chairs were around it with two of them on the opposing ends. Shiro was sitting at one end, reading the reports of the mission again. Hunk and Pidge on the chairs of his left side were busy, discussing about the AMRASU-project. It was obvious, that Pidge was burning for more information about this robot. Lance was making jokes about her curiosity, but she simply ignored him. But Allura and Keith, who were sitting with Lance on the right side of Shiro were awful quite. The events with Acxa and Freyda within the treatment room were still bothering both of them.  
The team turned their head towards the door, as the Galra entered the room, followed by the spider-like robot. She greeted the surprised looking Paladins and Commander Shiro with a slight nod. Pidge’s focus was instantly on the machine again and also Hunk showed interest in the robot, which took a stand beside Freyda, who had taken seat at the opposite side of conference table.

“Why have you brought the robot with you?”

Shiro’s question was gentle but serious. He had read the first reports from Pidge about the mission, the people and equipment, they had rescued.

“Protection.”

Her face showed no sign of emotion, but her eyes were burning holes in Shiro’s skull.

“But this wasn’t necessary.”

Allura’s gentle voice tried to ease the tension, the situation was building up. Freyda kept focused on Shiro. He started to ask himself, if she ever needed to blink eyes at all.

“That’s what I’ve told Ronan, too.”

Allura was about to smile warm at her, when the Galra added a quote.

“I can protect myself.”

Shiro’s eyes widened in shock and anger. Allura and the others also had shocked and surprised faces.

“What did I say, they don’t trust us.”

Keith’s quote was a bit frustrated. Lance turned to him with lack of understanding.

“But why? I mean, we’re Voltron. We’re the good guys.”

He shut his mouth instantly as the piercing eyes of Freyda met his own. Until now the Galra hadn’t shown anything else but a straight serious face. But now she released a sad sigh. She relaxed a bit. This reaction surprised the team.

“It’s nothing personal. Especially against all of you here.”

She faced Keith now, who frowned at her words.

“But we know, that my heritage means trouble in this situation. You may have less problems with me, but what about the rest of the crew?”

Her questioning look was laying again on Shiro. The commanders eyes showed anger but also determination.

“I can guarantee for your safety on this ship.”

She waited some seconds but nodded at him.

“I believe in your honest efforts. But this won’t satisfy Ronan. And I won’t blame him for this. War has taught us different.”

A dark shadow rushed over her face for a brief moment. The corners of her mouth were jerking a bit, but her eyes still tried to melt holes through his skull. He withstood her look.

“I also won’t blame him.” But now his eyes started to burn as well. “But I won’t tolerate any sort of provocation. From no one.”

A smile rushed over Freyda’s face and she nodded satisfied to him.

“I haven’t expected anything else.”

She turned to Allura and her face got serious again.

“You have asked for answers, earlier. What do you want to know?”

The Altean was ripped out of her observation of the former scene. Her face got worried.

“What can you tell us about the presence of Galran forces on this planet?”

Freyda face stayed in the former shown serious but pensive look, but she nodded at Allura and it seemed, that this nod was an approval. Obviously the Altean had done something right in Freyda’s opinion.

“Six months ago, Galran ships started their attack on the little human colony on this planet. There was no sign of former presence of Haggar’s forces within this sector before, so the defenders were caught off guard. The strikes were brutal and effective. Defense systems were crushed and any order broke apart. The people who had survived the first and the second wave of attacks were forced to flee in the underground. After resistance was broken, the Galran started to harvest the quintessence and they hunted the remaining survivors.”

Pidge, Allura and the others had to shiver at the stoic report. They all had taken a look at the kids, when they were brought to the hospital for the check-up. They had an idea, what horror was hidden in this brief summary. Freyda went on with her report.

“We think, that a full Galran strike force must be present on this planet. Due to the troops and equipment, Ronan and AMRASU have spotted, we must expect two divisions of soldiers, one tank battalion, and one scout battalion with light vehicles. Normally such a force is linked with two heavy Galran cruisers and four or six small destroyers to support the big ships.”

She made a little break.

“Not a chance to stand against this storm, for such a small colony.”

“But why such an big force to attack this colony?”

Lance was still shocked by the report, but he didn’t get it, why Haggar had send such a strong force. But Pidge answered, before all others.

“Because there was so many other life on this planet. So many plants and animals and microbes. The Emerald canyon was unique. Haggar wanted to be absolutely sure, that no one would stand between her and this rich harvest.”

Freyda nodded at her.

“Correct. And she wanted to have as much time as possible. The colony was perfect. Deep in space. Self-sufficient. Small. A perfect target with a high price to win. And her force is strong enough to hold the price against external attacks.”

“Which makes sense, because this force is far from home out here”

Keith had placed his elbows on the table and his head was resting on his hands. But Freyda closed her eyes. A little sadness rushed over her face.

“Yes. But maybe not far away from Haggar.”

All looked surprised at the Galran.

“She’s experimenting with raw quintessence. Some of the weapons, she had used to crush the defense were fueled with it.”

A collective gasp was heard in the room.

“How do you know?”

Shiro shocked question was also filled with disbelieve. But Freyda ignored it.

“I don’t know details, but it seems, that the raw power is able to create more destruction, when it’s used the right way. But it’s also more dangerous and much more difficult to handle. Haggar has constructed a mobile facility to work with it. A ship to run her experiments and to construct these kind of weapons.”

Pidge nodded at this quote.

“It would make sense. Raw quintessence couldn’t be stored for long. It could become instable. Shorten the logistic efforts is a good option.”

“But she must also have found a way to stabilize the quintessence better than normal. At least to keep the state long enough before the final use.”

Hunk was scratching his chin. 

“And it isn’t an answer for my question.”

Freyda’s look changed into a frustrated one at Shiro’s quote.

“It doesn’t matter. But if you in doubt about this news, ask the General. She probably knows much more about it.”

Her voice hasn’t changed. It was still the stoic sound, like during her report, but her quote had pushed some of Keith’s buttons. The others looked surprised and alarmed as well, but he has stood up from his chair, walking slowly to Freyda. The Galran focused on him. She laid back in her chair, crossing her arms before her chest.

“But he’s asking you, now.”

He had reached her and bowed down, to face her look.

“We have saved you from this planet. I think this counts for something.”

“Keith.”

Allura tried to sooth his anger, he was already showing in his voice, but her beg felt on def ears.

“So how do you know all this?”

He slammed his hands on the table in front of her. The rest of his team took a shocked gasp but Freyda hadn’t even jerked. She only had raised an eyebrow and on of her fingers. Her arms were still crossed before her chest.

“Keith… Don’t move...”

He recognized the shock and fear in Pidge’s whisper. Something was wrong. An energetic humming was near his ear. Freyda slightly nodded at AMRASU and the robot moved slowly back one of his legs from Keith’s head. But the plasma flame stayed activated long enough, so that Keith could realize, that only the finger, Freyda was still holding up, might had saved him from the fatal strike.

“Correct. It counts for something.”

The shocked silence hung in the room. The team shared stressed looks between Freyda and the robot.

“You may think, we’re cruel, selfish and ungrateful.”

She nodded at the chair beside her and Keith took seat with still a pale face.

“But things aren’t so simple. We came to this planet to find peace. But instead war found us. We have seen, that in chaos there is often no difference anymore between friend or foe. Do you know, why these kids are with us? Because, they have lost everything. Patrick and Christina's parents died at the first wave. No one took care of them, so did I. Sam lost his family at the second wave and again, no other surviver was willing to take care, so Ronan brought him home. We found Clarissa at the body of her father. She still hasn’t talked much about what has happened, but it seemed, that he was killed for the food, he had stocked for his daughter. For the same reason Jessy and Kathy have lost their parents. We have fond Jessy fighting for her life, as some men tried to rape her. She had led us to Kathy. We have given both shelter as well. Kathy’s scar was the result of her hopeless try to protect her mother from another survivor. Jessy had saved her two weeks before Ronan had helped her, but she came too late, to save the mother of the little child. So Jessy took over this part as best as she could.”

Shock and grief was crushing down on the team. Pidge was crying heavily as well as Hunk. Shiro was staring a hole in the ceiling with teary eyes. Allura was pressing her hands on her mouth, while her tears ran down her cheeks. Lance was grabbing the plate of the table so hard, that the skin over his knuckles turned white and Keith still faced the Galra with teary eyes, his hands formed to trembling fists. Freyda wiped away some hot tears out of the corners of her eyes. She faced Shiro again.

“You see, I trust you, otherwise I wouldn’t share this story.” She shared a gentle look with any shocked member of team. “All of you.” But then her stoic serious look returned. “But we had only survived thanks to Ronan and the fact, that we always were picky with trust and giving informations.”

“How long have you survived with these children?”

It was the teary muffled voice of Pidge.

“We’ve lived together with all kids for five months and thirteen days now. Ronan has managed to hack in the Galran com system to create hidden unusual signals to draw attention. It was the only chance to get help without drawing attentions of the Galran forces as well.”

“And how long do you and Ronan live together.”

An angry flicker rushed over Freydas face at Lance question. But she took a deep breath and returned to her former expression.

“Longer. About two years.”

She took a deep breath again. She had guessed the next question, Lance wanted to ask, before he got the chance to do so.

“I was part of the invasion troops on Hades. My first campaign. I had to suffer the ultimate shame. I got captured. He saved me.”

“What?”

Lance had jumped up at his shout-out. The others looked at her with confusion. Freyda closed her eyes. For the first time, the Galra was struggling with herself. She looked hurt and ashamed. 

“From this.”

She opened her jacket and showed the team her arms. They were full of old round burning marks.

“These weren’t earned in combat.”

Her voice was shaking in anger.

“He nursed me until I was on my own feet again. He defended me against human and Galran forces. For the humans I was simply an enemy, for the Galras a shame and a traitor. But for him I was a worthy life.”

Tears floated her eyes and she turned away to hide them. She put on her jacket again and waited a moment, until her eyes were dry again.

“I stayed with him an helped him to fight his own pain, from this day on. We left Hades and the war with a stolen Galran ship, as I was pregnant with Tjaàl. To search the peace to raise a child. But like I said. War found us again.”

She faced Keith again, who was embarrassed chewing on his cheek. She hesitated a moment, but then she took one of his hands.

“You care for her.”

He gave her a questioning look. Her eyes kept locked on his.

“The General.”

His eyes widened. He was about to nod, but Freyda was faster.

“I respect that. She’ll need your support. And the support of her Amarzzari. And probably of all her other friends.”

“What have you told her in the treatment room?”

Allura’s voice was shaking. 

“A ritual greeting. Old, but most important to maintain honor.”

She blinked and looked at Allura.

“A warning. ‘Fate is calling’.”

She stood up and kept looking in the shocked face of the Altean.

“Maybe Ronan will tell you more or the General, cause I won’t. It’s their business.”

She nodded as a goodbye, leaving the room with AMRASU and left a shocked and speechless team behind.


	7. Blocking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !WARNING! Mentioning of violence against a child in this chapter.

Acxa was sitting on the bed and staring at the ceiling. Veronica was rubbing her horns. Her girlfriend was sitting behind her, resting her head on the shoulder of the half-Galra. Acxa closed her eyes and consumed the warmth and love of her. She had seen, how these kids, how Freyda and Ronan cared for each other. She understood Veronica’s worries. She hadn’t lost a word, as she came after her. She had only hugged her tight. She hadn’t broke contact for hours now. This patience was what she loved about Veronica. She felt never pushed. She was there and waiting. Waiting for the right moment.  
Acxa took gently Veronica’s hands from her horns and guided them around her middle to close her arms to a hug for her. She leaned her head against the human ones and sighed.

“Don’t ever scare me so much again.”

Veronicas voice was worried. Her hands were under the shirt of the Galra and her thumb rubbed carefully slow circles around her bellybutton.

“I’ll try.”

Both knew, that this was an impossible wish. But she wanted to try. For her.

“What happened down on the planet?”

Acxa’s face darkened. She hadn’t made her own report, yet. Shiro had ordered her to rest first. All Veronica knew, were the informations, they had from Pidge’s report and the saved com files. The Galra started to chew on her lips. She should have known better. It was a stupid idea to trust the corroded structure of the crystals. It had almost cost her life. An angry glow came to her eyes.

“A mistake.”

Veronica took up one of her hands and turned Acxa’s head to her to place a brushing kiss on her lips.

“And then?”

Acxa released another sigh and turned around. Veronica took her hands and watched her patiently. She wanted a full report. But Acxa wasn’t sure, if she could give her one. She had still blanks to fill in for herself. And she wouldn’t wanted to scare her again. She wouldn’t wanted to cause her more worries. She felt Veronica rubbing her knuckles gently with her thumbs. Her look scanned the face of the half-Galra. It was still worried. And as longer as Acxa would stay quite as more worries would grow in her girlfriends mind. So she finally nodded.

“Then Ronan saved me. He repaired my suit, he injected an antidote in my veins and a buffer in my suit to fight the toxins and the acid and had taken down the fighters and the pilots.”

Tears came to Veronica’s eyes. She looked at Acxa with shock and worries, but also grateful to have her back. She kissed her again.

“Then I have to thank him, tomorrow. He has saved, you. I don’t know, what I would have done, when...”

Her voice broke. Her painful look let Acxa’s stomach cramp. This time, she pulled Veronica’s head towards her chest and started to stroke her hair gently. She felt Veronica’s grip tighten around her arm.

“He didn’t even knew you and had done this for you.”

\- I haven’t done it for you. -

Acxa jerked at Veronica’s quote. Her girlfriend was up, instantly facing her observantly.

“You know him?”

Acxa avoided her look. She faced a spot on the end of the bed.

“No.”

Her left hand was jerking again. She felt Veronicas eyes on her. The woman was still holding Acxa’s hands. It was the truth, but also the Galra had avoided to mention a vital suggestion. She knew, as gentle and patient Veronica could be, as hard and relentless she was, when she thought, that Acxa was putting herself in trouble, by hiding away her feelings. She had cracked many of her guards during their relationship. But still not all of them. Acxa looked up to her. Veronica had never blamed her for being so difficult to handle. She had never blamed her for her high pride and her difficulties to open up. She had never blamed her for wincing back first, when she reached out a hand to aid her. She had always taken these reactions with stoic patience. But every time, Acxa had shown trust and had accepted her help, she had rewarded this trust with joy and love. She sighed again.

“But I think he knows me.” She hesitated. She felt Veronica’s grip tightened slightly around her hands. “And I think he has seen me as an enemy.”

Veronica’s eyes widened in shock, She was about to jump up, but Acxa had now tightened her grip around Veronica’s wrists and pulled her back on the bed. She knew, what Veronica wanted to do. But this was not, what she wanted. She had accepted the Call. She had time now. She wanted to find out things on her own. How things were fitting together. And this was not her business. Veronica wasn’t part of her past. This was her fight. So she shook her head.

“Not a word. To no one.”

Confusion and lack of understanding was in Veronica’s face. Tears were glittering in her eyes. And fear. But Acxa kept focused on her.

“Promise me. Not a word.”

She saw Veronica’s brain working. Her fear took over the control of her face. Her whispering voice was trembling slightly.

“What has Freyda said to you?”

Acxa’s eyes got a dangerous flicker.

“Nothing important.”

Veronica’s voice got harder and angrier. Acxa still got a grip at both of her wrists. Her girlfriend had made fists in anger.

“Acxa, what has she told you?”

“Not your business.”

“NO, IT IS!”

Rage took over. Veronica ripped her wrists forcefully out of Acxa’s grip. Fear and rage were burning in her eyes. Acxa had never seen Veronica so hurt and angry before. It tightened her throat. Her eyes widened in shock and her look rested on on the bloody marks, her claws had left on Veronicas skin, as the woman had freed herself from the grip. Veronica was breathing heavily, but she recognized the look of her girlfriend and watched down her arms. Blood was running down her hands and started to dip on the floor. She looked up again and saw the sadness and shame in Acxa’s eyes. It flushed away all her anger, instantly. Her face softened. She took a step toward the half-Galra.

“Acxa, I’m sorry, but...”

Acxa stood up, avoiding her look and stormed out of the bedroom, leaving a doubled hurt Veronica behind.

 

oOo

 

She had hurt her. And it was her fault again. Her mistake. She knew, that Veronica wanted to help and that she would react drastic, when she was in fear for Acxa’s life. She had pushed her too far. Acxa was storming out of the sleeping room and headed to the door of the quarter. She opened it and was frozen on spot. Jessy and Kathy were standing before the door. Jessy was surprised as well but Kathy didn’t care, why Acxa had opened the door, even before they had used the buzzer. She rushed forward and hugged the leg of the woman, who looked surprised at the kid.

“Acxa, please… Oh...”

Veronica had also left the sleeping room but stopped in the doorway and watched the scenery with confusion. She had wrapped two cloths around her wrists. Jessy, Acxa and Veronica shared careful and observants looks with each other.

“’ou are nightmares too?”

Acxa looked down to Kathy. The others did the same. The big eyes of the child were focused on Acxa. She had noticed her troubled emotions, cause her face showed worries. It wasn’t the truth. But it was also pretty much the correct suggestion at the same time.

“Kind of.”

The kid took her hand again and started to pull gently on it in order to convince her to get on her knees, to rub her horns, but Acxa kept standing this time. Kathy’s face felt. She kept tugging Acxa’s hand, but the woman closed her eyes and shook her head. She gently took Kathy’s hand and pulled herself carefully of the grip of the little child. Tears started to float the kids eyes, but Acxa avoided her look, like she former did with Veronica. She felt the eyes of her girlfriend on her back as well. She had to clean her mind. She was about to leave, when Jessy rammed her hand against the frame of the doorway, to block her way. Acxa faced her with an angry look, but the girl didn’t winced back. It impressed Acxa, that the girl didn’t showed any sign of fear.

“Kathy, would you go with Acxa’s Amarzzari, please. I have to talk a word with her.”

Kathy shared a questioning look with her but nodded. Veronica was confused, but took instinctively the hand of the girl, as she walked over and reached it out for her. She took the child back into the sleeping room. Jessy kept on burning holes in Acxa’s head with her eyes. Her arm kept blocking her way.

“Most people only see her scar on her face. But many forget, how deep this cut really was. But I know. I have seen it. I have seen a two year old girl trying to protect her dying mother. I have assured, that this was the last mistake of the person, who leaved this scar on her.”

Her voice was threatening cold. She gave the way free for Acxa, who had closed her eyes in sadness and bitterness.

“Keep that in mind, when you try to figure out, what you want. You may ask me more, when we both are in a better mood for this.”

She left Acxa standing in the doorway of the quarter and walked to the sleeping room to get back to Kathy. The Galra turned around. For a second she was about to follow her as well. To say sorry. To tell Veronica, what frightened her, what troubled her mind. But then she turned back and left the quarter. She had to find it out for herself, first.


	8. Comparing Lessons

Veronica took seat on the bed. Kathy had recognized the cloths on her wrists. The woman observed the big scar in the face of the child with sadness but then she nodded at the child.

“Yes, I have hurt myself a bit. But it’s not serious. It will heal fast.”

The little girl stroke carefully over the cloths. She kept focused on the injury.

“Why Acxa don’t want help with nightmares?”

The question touched Veronica. She knew her girlfriend. Her high pride and the high standards, she was putting on herself more than on all others. She must be in deep trouble. And to be worst, without orientation. An unacceptable situation, in the Galra’s opinion. 

“Because she’s used to handle things on her own.”

Kathy’s face changed to her surprise. The sadness about her rejection was replaced by some sort of relief. But also worries followed.

“But she has ‘ou. ‘ou nice too.”

“Because war had taught her different, too.”

Kathy and Veronica turned back the doorway. Jessy was standing in it. The little girl nodded with a sad knowing face, but Veronica’s look was surprised.

“May I come in?”

Veronica nodded at the question of the big girl and Jessy entered, took place beside Kathy and started to stroke her head.

“Freyda and Ronan are nice, too. Warm, gentle and caring. They have saved us, but it has took a lot of time until I was ready to accept and believe in this new chance. War has taught us all different.”

She faced Veronica’s teary eyes.

“We both understand, why she reacts this way.”

Veronica also started to rub the knuckles of the kid. Kathy instantly snuggled at Veronicas arm, continuing rubbing carefully her wounded wrists. The eyes of the woman widened in confusion and surprise. Jessy’s face seemed to be hurt for a moment, but then a weak smile grew on her lips.

“She loves Ronan and Freyda. Both doing their best to fill in the holes, our losses have left.”

Now tears also came to the big girl’s eyes.

“But I have never seen Kathy so open and happy before she had met Acxa.”

“She knows the melody.”

The teary look of Kathy was facing a spot in another time and place at this moment. Veronica couldn’t suppress a tearful sob anymore. Instincts took over and she hugged the child. Kathy and Jessy let her do so.

“Acxa has hummed a melody for her in the hangar of the lion. Freyda is always humming the same melody for the kids. It’s a Galran lullaby. I’m sure, Acxa doesn’t have a clue, but she should be careful. Kathy’s scar goes deep and it shows all her loss. I won’t let anyone open this scar again.”

Kathy turned to the trembling big girl and hugged her as well. She observed Veronica’s shocked and sad face.

“She helped healing outchy.”

Veronica was pale and teary. So much pain. She was completely sure, that Acxa didn’t know, why this child came here in the middle of the night, but she had now. And she saw the determination in Jessy’s eyes as well. Kathy’s words had told her enough to understand. She didn’t need the cruel details to fill in the blanks. Kathy had somehow seen a part of her new found family in the half-Galra. Maybe because Freyda was a Galra as well and had cared for her as well. She was Acxa’s partner, so she got credit from the child. And it seemed, that Jessy was willing to give her some credit, too. She saw, that the situation was also hurtful for the girl, but the teenager tried the best to keep a straight face.  
Jessy stood up and took Kathy’s hand. She was about to leave with the child, when Veronica’s trembling voice made her stop.

“Freyda had talked with Acxa in the treatment room in Galran. Acxa doesn’t want to tell me, what she had said to her.”

Jessy frowned at Veronica.

“Maybe I can. I’m still learning, but I can give it a try.”

Veronica noticed the curiosity, the teenager was showing. It seemed, that this was a chance to get more information, Acxa had denied. She tried to remember the words.

“I think it was Fassum voz vocas.”

Jessy’s eyes widened in shock.

“You mean Fazzum voz vocaz.”

Veronicas look got alarmed as well, but she nodded.

“How has she answered?”

Her voice was deeply worried and it was an urgent need for an answer in it. Veronica felt a little panic rising in her.

“Aszivi.”

Jessy released a shocked gasp. But she relaxed a bit as well. But Veronica was visibly in panic now. It must be something bad lying within these words.

“What does it mean.”

Jessy hesitated. She was struggling with an answer. But it seemed, that she was finding the right words.

“It is an old ritual greeting. The construction is used by messengers, when the owner, who addressed this greeting to another Galra couldn’t or shouldn’t do it in personal.”

She recognized the confused look of the woman.

“Ronan and Freyda talk Galran and they have talked about the culture of them. Freyda is teaching me also. It was my wish to learn more about them. The translation is: Fate is calling. And Acxa had told Freyda, that she had heard the call.”

Veronica was about to ask more but Jessy raised her hand.

“Talk with her, seriously. She might have told you, that this is not your business, but it is. Be gentle, be patient, but be relentless.”

Veronica's panic was about to take over, but Jessy walked back with Kathy and after a little hesitation she placed a hand on her shoulder.

“You’re worried, you should be. But due to all I know, your Amarzzari has given the best answer. She has successfully avoided more trouble for now. She has time now to get prepared.” She faced her worried look. “I’ll see, what I can do to help.”

Veronica recognized, that Jessy also seemed to be worried about him. So she decided to give Jessy some more information.

“Acxa had mentioned, that she is sure, that he knows her, and that he seems to have bad memories. But she seems to have no idea, who he is.”

Kathy shared a worried look with Jessy, who frowned at this news. Veronica was sure, that some of her color had faded from her face.

“I’ll talk with Ronan or Freyda, you with Acxa.”

She wanted to leave, but Veronica has stood up and reached her half way to the door and turned her around. Fear and worries were in her face.

“This is really bad, isn’t it? For both Acxa and Ronan?”

Jessy bit her bottom lip, but her eyes were flickering.

“He has saved her life, so I owe him something. If I can help to keep him out of danger...”

Her face felt, as Jessy shook her head. She was struggling with herself and finally got down on her knees to cover Kathy’s ears.

“Love, trust and patience. Show this your Amarzzari. And if you think, she is ready to open herself, ask her about Tantalus. It’s a suggestion of mine.”

Veronica noticed, that Jessy looked like she had betrayed Ronan. Tears were glittering in the corners of her eyes. The woman was sure now, that her suggestion was right. It must have been something really bad, which meant trouble for both. And enough trouble, that Jessy was willing to share an information with her, she normally wouldn’t have told her. Maybe she would also talk with Freyda first, before she would ask Acxa. And she would check the files on Atlas. But for now she understood, what it must have cost Jessy to dare this step. So she smiled warm and thankful at her.

“Thank you. And don’t worry. I’ll do all I can to protect Acxa and your…”

Veronica barely managed to stop talking, before the word ‘father’ could escape her lips. She wanted to curse herself silently for being so careless and tactless. Jessy eyes filled with tears, but to Veronicas surprise, the girl nodded at her.

“I have never called him so. He couldn’t replace my father. No one could. But...”

She stood up and took a deep breath.

“He has become a second one for me. Like Freyda has become a second mother.”

Veronica also got wet eyes again, as the teenager wiped away her tears. Kathy was stroking the back of Jessy’s hand.

“I have lost my family, but I have found a new one. And I’ll fight for them, if necessary.”

Veronica understood. She nodded back.

“So do I.”

She earned a respectful nod from Jessy as a goodbye and both girls left the quarter.


	9. What Is Cooking

Acxa wandered through the corridors of the Atlas. Her face was dark and worried. But she couldn’t get her thoughts in line. First she ended up in the cafeteria, writing down her report for Shiro. It helped her to memorize the things, which had happened down on the planet. But Ronan and his shown hate, remained a secret for her. She finally found herself in the kitchen of the ship. It was empty. The staff wouldn’t return to their work within the next two or three hours and the cleaning crew was finished with their work some time ago. She didn’t know, why she had entered. Maybe Hunk was the reason. He had told her, that working in the kitchen and cooking meals helped him to clear his mind. She hadn’t tried it before, but now she decided to give it a try. She let her look circling around the equipment. She wasn’t really hungry and she wanted to try something simple first. 

Small steps. 

This general plan had helped her to get used to the team, to the new surrounding and to Veronica. Acxa bit her bottom lip. She already regretted, that she had stormed away. Maybe she could cook something, Veronica liked as well. Hunk had told her, that the right meal could heal almost everything. She wasn’t sure, how to start. The Galra checked some closets and drawers for knifes, a cutting board and a frying pan. She placed everything beside one stove on a working plate and checked her setup, but shook her head annoyed. She already wasn’t sure, what she wanted to cook. Maybe she should have started with the ingredients and then with the tools she needed. So Acxa leaved the working place and headed to the storage and cooling rooms, where the food was stocked. 

The Galra groaned many times during her visit. So much ingredients. It dawned on her, that choosing the right meal wouldn’t become a piece of cake. She closed her eyes and sighed, while she started to rub her forehead. And she had no idea, how to mix them right. But suddenly a sparkle came to the woman’s eyes, as she opened them up, suddenly. 

A breakfast. 

It seemed to be a perfect start for a first try. Acxa would try to bring Veronica breakfast to the quarter. She would try to cook something fitting for a breakfast and had only to take and prepare the rest, like milk, cereals, fruits, jam, cheese, butter, crispy buns and so on. There it was. A starting plan. But what to cook for Veronica. She decided, that simply baking up some of the buns, the staff had prepared for tomorrow, wasn’t real cooking in her opinion, even for a first try. Her look felt on the eggs in one stocking shelf. 

Scrambled eggs! 

This sounded manageable for her. Maybe with some tomatoes. And something green in it. Acxa had seen sometimes green parts of an unknown plant in scrambled eggs, when she had tried them and she had liked it. 

And a smoothie. 

Acxa knew, that Veronica liked smoothies. Strawberry and black currant. She liked the sound of the word. Smoothie. The way it felt on her tongue and the sound, the word created during speaking was somehow fitting for the texture of the drink, in her opinion. She pulled a transport wagon over to her and started to collect the ingredients. She had a plan.

 

oOo

 

And this plan was about to going down, horribly. 

The second frying pan was resting in the kitchen sink, covered with a hard backed black crust of eggs. The biting smell of the burned mass was laying heavy on the kitchen. Thick clouds of dark smoke came out of the oven. Acxa was sweating. The working place and the floor around the stove was a freaking mess, covered with eggshells, yolk, rests of frying fat - Acxa had decided, that her first try went wrong, because she had forgotten to put some fat in the pan - and accidentally squished tomatoes. The stove, the knifes, the working plate and also Acxa were disgustingly sticky. It was a disaster. 

“NoNoNoNoNo…!”

She left the mixer, where she had already put in the fruits and some milk for the smoothie and sprinted over to the oven. She grabbed an already messed oven glove and ripped the door open. 

The clouds swallowed the Galra. She coughed dry and tried helplessly to wave away the big biting smoke of the burned buns, the oven was about to spew out, as soon, as its front door was opened by Acxa. She tried to get a blind grip on the baking sheet and winced back in pain, as she burned her finger on the first try with a curse. She got it with a second attempt and managed to bring the smoking black rests of the buns to the sink as well. She rested there for a second. This went all wrong. But she wouldn’t give up. At least the smoothie wasn’t ruined yet. It was the last ray of hope for her breakfast. The last side goal, which could prevent this mission to end in a total loss. She took a deep breath and walked back to the mixer. Acxa placed the cover on the mixer and turned the button. 

Nothing. 

She felt her anger and frustration finally rising. She checked the cable, everything was in place. So she tried it a second time. 

Quiet.

“Oh come on!”

She groaned angry and started to rattle on the glass bowl with the mixing knifes and the fruits in it. She also turned the cover once or twice. Then she tried the button for the third time.

“NOOOO!”

Acxa’s frustrated and desperate scream filled the kitchen as well as a short and loud mixing sound. Turning the cover had unlocked the blocking mechanism of the mixer, but in her rotten luck, it wasn’t completely in place. And the mixer was filled up way to high with fruits and milk. As soon as she had turned the button, the machine had started to spit out the half-mixed smoothie all over the kitchen. 

And all over Acxa. The mass was covering her head and clothes, dipping from her hair and horns. She kept standing, still with her hands on the mixer and started to tremble slightly. Her breathing became faster and harder and her face changed in a mask of pure anger. With an earsplitting scream on her lips, she ripped up the mixer from the working plate and was about to throw it through the whole kitchen, but she stopped in motion. The Galra turned back to observe the mess, she had created. A total defeat. 

Suddenly a hand appeared beside her, offering her a kitchen towel. Acxa turned back around and watched in the warm eyes of Veronica. No blame, no question was in them, only a warm and comforting shine.

“Let me help you to clean up this mess.”

Acxa blushed deep. She was nearly happy, that her face was covered with the smoothie. She placed the mixer back on the working plate. 

“I wanted to make a breakfast for you.”

Her embarrassed muttering let Veronica's smile grew. She threw the towel over her shoulder and placed her hands on the sticky cheeks of the Galra and pulled her in a gentle kiss. Acxa’s eyes widened in surprise. She tried best to avoid her smoothie-covered hands get in contact with Veronica but she returned and deepened the kiss, Veronica had started and so Acxa rested finally her elbows on the woman's shoulders. Veronica started to giggle during the kisses.

“This tastes really good.”

She pushed Acxa’s face gently back a bit and shared an impish smile with her.

“I could get used to take my smoothies this way.”

She leaned forward again, started to gently kiss away the smoothie from Acxa’s cheeks, chin and lips, slowly but with more and more passion with every following kiss, until both shared deep kisses again, holding themselves as tight as they could. Acxa gasped, trying to catch breath again after a while. Both were breathing heavily, pushing their foreheads against each other. They smiled.

“Come, let’s clean up here and then we can clean up ourselves.”

Acxa nodded, with a smile. Her body was screaming for a bath and even more for a one with her girlfriend.

“And next time, we can make breakfast together. I think this could be fun.”

Acxa nodded again. Maybe Veronica could help her with finding the right green plants for the eggs.


	10. The Weight of the Past

Jessy came with Kathy around the last corner and nearly bumped in AMRASU. The robot was guarding the corridor before their quarter.

“Sorry buddy.”

She gave the machine a gentle clap on one of his legs and the robot walked aside to let the girls reaching the room. She opened the door and saw Freyda sitting on a couch in the quarter facing the girls with her scanning look. Kathy yawned and smiled at her, rubbing her tired eyes. Jessy stayed quite. She guided the little girl back to the sleeping room of the kids under Freyda’s pensive observation. After the child has crawled back in her bed and had closed her eyes, Jessy returned to the living room and took place beside the Galra. Her questioning look was laying on the teenager.

“Ronan had an nightmare, again.”

She recognized the sadness growing in Freda’s face, so she took her hand and started to rub her knuckles.

“The kids woke up and Kathy and I went over to him to cradle Tjaàl and wake him up.”

She took a deep breath.

“Then Kathy had asked for Acxa again. She was afraid, that she might also have nightmares and wanted to help her.”

Freyda did a teary sigh and pulled Jessy in a soothing hug. The girl started to cry silently, as the Galra started to hum her soothing lullaby. The rich and gentle sound of the melody filled the room, sweet and soft, easing all the pains for a while. She continued the melody, until Jessy stopped crying. The girl gave her a thankful smile.

“We came back, because Acxa wasn’t in the right mood.” The look of the girl got serious and worried. “She is afraid, Freyda. Afraid and confused.”

The eyes of the Galra got a dangerous glow, but Jessy didn’t care.

“Ronan is demanding rightful revenge. But she doesn’t know why.”

Freyda still stayed quite and so did Jessy. Both faced the look of the other, searching for a hint, how to go on. Jessy knew, that Freyda was protecting her. But she already had a clue. She had never ask more, but now it was time to do so. She wouldn’t let Ronan put himself in danger. She wouldn’t let him destroy himself. And she knew, that Freyda also wouldn’t let him do so. So she finally spoke up again. She was sure, that is was linked with his scars.

“Tantalus. What has he really lost on this planet. Was has he lost, before he found you?”

Tears came up in Freda’s eyes, but also pride. She stood up and raised one finger to show Jessy, that the teenager should wait here a second. She watched the Galra disappear in the other sleeping room. Some moments later, the woman returned and took place again beside Jessy. She was hiding something in her right hand and pulled Jessy’s hands over to her and turned her palms up, to make her ready to receive a little object. The girls eyes widened in shock and sadness, as Freyda placed the little golden object in her hands. A deformed and half molten golden ring was reflected in the teary eyes of the girl. She shared tortured looks with the ring in her hand and Freyda.

“He has sworn revenge after this loss, right?”

Jessy was pale. She recognized Freyda’s sad nod only through a milky fog. Her heart started to cramp.

“But that’s not Ronan! Maybe it was, but not anymore! Freyda, you cannot let him do that! It will torn him in pieces!”

Freyda started to cry. She buried her head in her hands and cried even heavier as Jessy instantly pulled her in her arms. The sound of the teenager’s voice was shaky and teary, but she suddenly started to hum the same melody, Freda had hummed for here some time before and she began to rub the Galra’s horns.

“I know.”

Jessy had never heard her so desperate before. They stayed hugged for a long time, until both had stopped crying. Jessy looked again at the ring in her hand. She must try to help them. She couldn’t loose them. It was no option. She looked in the scared eyes of the Galra. Obviously loosing was an option for none of them. Ronan would need help. And guidance. If one could guide him, then Freyda. But she would need help, too. Jessy knew, that she wouldn’t admit it, but she knew, that she needed help. She couldn’t do this alone. She would need a strong sign. Jessy felt the heavy weight of the ring in her hand. She had an idea. She stood up and pulled Freyda also up. The Galra gave her a questioning look, but the girl started to left the room, pulling the woman along with her.

 

oOo

 

They ended up in the cargo bay, where the chain-wheeled containers were stocked. Jessy was browsing and searching through the stuff, they had rescued from the planet, obviously looking for something special. Freyda observed her with confusion.

Suddenly the girl popped up with a satisfied smile. She showed the Galra a golden chain.

“This chain, my parents have given me it as a present for my last birthday.”

Her look became tortured for a moment.

“It’s the last thing, they have given me.”

But her face got filled with determination again. She focused on Freyda’s questioning look. She opened the clasp and let the deformed ring slide on the chain. Freyda’s eyes widened in total surprise, as the girl came closer. She started to tremble as the chain was laid around her neck by the girl. She heard her closing the clasp and watched her walking back before her with open mouth.

“He needs to find another solution and he needs guidance to find it.”

Tears came to Jessy’s eyes but she kept focused on the shocked Galra.

“You should know, that you don’t have to do this alone. I fight for my family.”

Freyda broke out in tears. She did a fast step forward and hugged the girl as tight as she could. She felt Jessy’s hands at her cheeks and faced her teary look with her own tear-filled eyes.

“Wear it for him. Be his guidance, like you always was. Don’t let him rip himself into pieces.”

The teenager carefully brushed along the chain with her fingertips. Then she smiled and faced Freyda again.

“Wear it for me. Wear it to let me know, that I’m helping you carry your burden, like you and Ronan are helping me carry my own.”

Freyda gave the girl a long kiss on her forehead.

“Thank you, Jessy. I will.”

Both started to walk back to the quarter, Jessy’s head resting on Freyda’s shoulder, while the Galra had laid an arm around the teenager with her hand holding a strong but gentle grip on the girls shoulder.

“Freyda. Talk with Veronica. I think Acxa’s Armazzari can help us.”

Freyda squeezed Jessy’s shoulder thankfully.

“I will.”

She smiled at the girl and touched the chain with her other hand. She was so proud of her. She had given her hope. Hope for all of them.


	11. Wake Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know, how much information about the Galran culture may be found in the archive files of the Atlas or in any other non-Galran archive, the team could use, so I have decided, that there wouldn't be much of it. Not enough for Veronica or the team to get a clear picture of the things between Ronan and Acxa. I hope my choice is a fitting one.

He felt a hand gently stroking his head, as he woke up in the quarter. Freyda was sitting on the bed next to him and was studying maps of the sector, while she had buried one of her hands in his blond hair. He observed her with a warm smile.

“How long have I slept?”

Freyda turned her head and gave him a soft kiss.

“Long. But due to your stocked lack of sleep not long enough.”

His face got a worried look. He touched his bionic eye and pressed a button on the side of the implant. His remaining eye widened in shock.

“Two days! You have let me sleep for two days!”

Freyda’s face kept stoic. She returned to the maps.

“We have all agreed to let you sleep.”

Ronan sat up in the bed and sighed. He was angry with himself about his lack of care, but he couldn’t change the fact. So he decided to make the best out of it. He had to admit, that he felt refreshed. Still not at his best, but much better. And he felt hungry.

“I’ll show you around and I can give you an update.”

He nodded at her, still with an grumpy face, but Freyda ignored his mood. She placed the maps aside and hugged Ronan. He returned the hug until Freyda finally stood up. His eyes widened in surprise as he recognized the ring at the golden chain around Freyda’s neck. The woman smiled shy at him.

“Jessy had demand answers and I have shown her the ring.”

Ronan’s hand jerked. He kept staring at the ring.

“She has given me her precious chain to wear the ring. She thought, that it would be the right sign in the right moment for both of us.”

He felt her strong and gentle eyes laying on him. He finally recognized, that his breathing was hard, so he closed his eye and focused on his breath to come down again. As he opened it again he saw Freyda right in front of him. She bowed down and kissed him.

“And I thought so, too.”

They cared for him and they wanted to show it. He carefully brushed over the chain and the ring, feeling the metal tickling his fingertips, feeling a comforting, healthy warmth inside the metal. The warmth of this beautiful, strong and gentle woman before him. A warmth, she could show him in this new way, with the help of this kind and fearless girl, he had saved months before. A smile came to his lips.

“It’s not cold anymore.”

A warm smile grew on the Galra’s face and Ronan pulled her down to share a deep kiss with her. Both breathed heavy as Ronan finally ended his kiss and Freyda rested her head on Ronan’s shoulder, their cheeks pressed together. Both smiled and the Galra pulled him up, gently. Ronan walked over to the cradle and took up Tjaàl. The baby laughed cheerfully and tried to get a grip on his bionic eye. Ronan smiled warm at him and cradled the boy in his arms. Both left the sleeping room. The quarter was quite and this triggered Ronan’s worries.

“Where’re the kids.”

Freyda placed her hand on Ronan’s shoulder to sooth his worries.

“Exploring the ship with the Paladins.”

Her face got serious as she recognized Ronan’s nervous look. The Galra’s eyes got a determined glow.

“You may not trust the crew, but you can trust the Paladins. I do, so you will too.”

Ronan relaxed with an embarrassed sigh. Freyda was right. But after all this time it wasn’t easy to let go. And he could feel, that it must also have cost Freyda a lot to dare this step. But she was two days ahead. And he trusted her. With every inch of his body. She felt his struggle so she bowed down to him and kissed away his worries.

“Come on. Let’s have a little dinner.”

 

oOo

 

A real dinner. Ronans worries and anger were nearly vanished after his second turn. He had eaten with no haste. It was far too long ago, that he had enjoyed a meal so much. The fresh vegetables, the spices, the flavors… How much had he missed this. Freyda had talked with him in Galran about her home world and about so many happy and peaceful moments, they had shared before the war had found them again. They have laughed together as Tjaàl had managed to steal some carrots from his plate and even more, as the baby accidentally had grabbed a lemon slice, which was on one salad and instantly had made a strange, funny face, as he had bitten in the lemon. Only to try the sour fruit a second time with the same result. Now they were sitting together in a corner of the canteen of the ship with their heads resting together. The baby was standing on Ronan’s upper legs, with Freyda’s help and shared cheerful smiles with every crew member, who took a look in their direction.

“He is a real sunshine.”

Veronica and Allura came to their table with their dinners. Tjaàl turned to them with a squeaking laughter and beamed at both. Ronan scanned both woman, but Freyda shared a little nod with them.

“May we take a seat here?”

Allura did her best to hide her nervousness. To her relief Ronan offered them the two chairs in front of him with a little gesture of his hand. He earned a thankful smile of both woman and a gentle kiss on his cheek from Freyda. Tjaàl instantly tried to lean over to get something from Allura’s plate, which was closest to him.

“Hey, you may take my food, but you couldn’t simply pick other peoples carrots.”

Ronan’s warm voice made the child turn to him. Tjaàl hugged the man and started to make begging and muttering sounds. Ronan had to chuckle and Veronica and Allura shared warm and amused smiles with each other. The man sighed and faced the baby.

“Maybe she would share a bite with you, if you ask her kindly.”

The child’s eyes started to glow and he turned back to Allura. A shy smile was on Tjaàls lips and it seemed to her, that his eyes had suddenly doubled their size. The Altean smiled impish at him and picked a little carrot from her plate and offered it to the little child. His smile grew and with a fast move he took the carrot and started to eat it. The whole table started to chuckle warm, while Tjaàl was eating his earned carrot with a smile.

“Thank you.”

Veronica’s warm voice made Ronan look up. His questioning look made Veronica a bit nervous.

“You have saved my girlfriend down on the planet. I don’t know, what...”

Her face felt and Allura squeezed her hand to help her dealing with her feelings. But also Ronan’s face darkened. The air at the table seemed to become heavier. 

“Helping her has meant helping us.”

His voice was sad and he handed Tjaàl over to Freyda. The man faced Allura with a serious look.

“Freyda has given you a short report, but I think, you also want to have a more detailed one, of what has happened.”

The Altean nodded back.

“Yes, as sooner as better. Commander Shiro wanted to talk with you, Acxa and Pidge about the Emerald Canyon and the presence of Haggar’s troops on this planet. The witch seems to have doubled her efforts to finish the harvest.”

Ronan nodded with a dark face and stood up.

“I’ll be ready within an hour with a full report. Where shall I be for the meeting?”

“I’ll fetch you up at your quarter, to bring you to the meeting.”

Veronica had stepped in the conversation before Allura had a chance to answer and her look showed determination. Ronan recognized this but simply nodded at her. He bowed down, kissed Freyda and Tjaàl and left the table with a nodded goodbye for Allura and Veronica.

Freyda watched him leaving the canteen. Her face was a riddle for Allura, but she dared to try to solve a part of it.

“It’s obvious that he and Acxa have a shared past.” She felt Freyda’s burning yellow eyes facing hers, but she withstood the Galran look. “And I think not a good one.”

Freyda stayed quite. She kept focused on the Altean, but didn’t answered her question. So Veronica dared to make a further step. She had done some researched during the last days. The files on the ship didn’t told her much about the Galran culture or language, but she had found out one thing or another around the message, Freyda had brought to Acxa. And these news had only increased her worries and fears for her girlfriend. But she hadn’t pushed her during the last two days. She felt, that Acxa wasn’t ready to ask for help, yet, so she would also try to find out more about the reasons for this challenge, Ronan had vocalized.

“Is there any hope, that we can moderate between them?”

Freyda raised an eyebrow and turned to Veronica. Some respect was hidden in her look.

“You have made researches.”

Veronica nodded.

“A bit, but we haven’t much information about the Galran culture. That’s why I ask.”

Freyda closed her eyes and Veronica and Allura were sure, that she was checking the options. After a while she opened them again.

“It depends on, if we were able to reach them.”

Veronica noticed the worries in Freyda’s eyes.

“I hope, that Ronan and the General will tell you the reasons, then you’ll understand my fears and my hesitation right now. But it’s their business.”

Allura stepped in at this point.

“So I’m right. They have a dark past together?”

Freyda stood up.

“Ask them, maybe they’ll give you an answer.” Her face softened a bit. “I’ll try to convince Ronan to tell you about his past. Then you might understand.”

She looked up and faced a person behind Veronica and Allura.

“All of you.”

Both woman turned around. Acxa was standing behind them with her tablet. She was a little pale again.

“Veronica, Allura.” 

She nodded at both woman and left the table. She stopped beside Acxa.

“General.” She hesitated a moment but then she faced Acxa. “You still don’t know, why?”

Acxa shook her head. She noticed, that all people in the whole room started to stare at the Galras. She felt uncomfortable, but Freyda didn’t seemed to care the pensive looks. She was holding Tjaàl with one arm while her hand fetched out the golden chain with the deformed ring under her shirt, which was hanging around her neck. She showed Acxa the item. Veronica and Allura couldn’t see, what Freyda was showing her, but they heard her hint for Acxa.

“This might help you to understand.”

With this words, she left a trembling Acxa behind. It took a moment or two, but suddenly Acxa placed her tablet on the table and left the canteen without a word. She hadn’t reached her quarter, as Veronica caught up with her. She turned her simply around and closed her arms around her to embrace her. Acxa’s first impulse was to push her away again, but then she simply let her do so. She had noticed the dressings around Veronicas wrists, as she had pulled her in the hug. This time she wouldn’t wince back.

“Should we go to our room and talk about it?”

Acxa nodded. She couldn’t fight this alone. And she was nearly sure, that she didn’t want to.


	12. Fire In The Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter holds up a few more information about the message, Acxa has received from Freyda. I hope that the little quarrel between Lotor and Haggar, Acxa remembered here, is fitting to the canon story.

Freyda entered the quarter. Ronan was busy with a console to write the promised report. Freyda noticed, that he did his best to avoid her look. She passed him silently and placed Tjaàl in the cradle in the sleeping room. The child has got sleepy on her way back to the quarter and was yawning heavily. After she had placed him in the cradle, she gave the baby a soft kiss between his growing horns and returned back to the living room to Ronan.

She kept standing in the doorway and watched him working on the desk. The thumb of his left hand was rubbing circles on his fingertips of index and middle finger. He always did this, when he was pensively thinking over something. She has fallen for his irrepressible will to do the right things. She has fallen for his kindness and love. And for his laughter. She was amazed every day, that he still found the strength to share his laughter with her. She wondered, if he knew, that this love and strength was guiding her every day. He had become her strength, but did he knew? Probably. But she had to remind him about that. Especially now.

She walked over to him and took the tablet console out of his hand and placed a kiss on his lips.

“Tell me.”

Her warm voice brought this gentle smile on her lips. This warming and loving smile, she was craving for. He seemed to think about his answer, but then he sighed and faced her look.

“I don’t know, what to do with her.”

His smile faded. Tears were filling his remaining eye.

“Talk with her. I know, it’s her turn now, but she still doesn’t know, why you demanding revenge.”

The bitter look returned to his face. Freyda took place beside him and Ronan buried his head on her chest.

“How could she. She was long gone, as I found out more about her. And then...”

He started to cry. Freyda’s eyes also watered, but she was stroking his head. It was torture for him and so for her as well. But she had to stand strong. For him.

“And then you have found a new point of view.”

Her voice was teary. Ronan got up and faced her look with a red cried eye. He nodded.

“I have told you her last words. After all I have seen on Tantalus,… I suddenly have seen a hidden truth in it. A last beg. I have sworn two oaths without knowing, they exclude each other. How could I fulfill one of them without breaking the other?”

The Galra pulled his head against her chest, giving Ronan a kiss on his head.

“That’s why you have begged me to bring her the message. You have started the Call. It gives you options, Ronan. It gives her options.”

He got a grip at her upper arms and pulled himself closer to her. His voice was so teary.

“Does it, Freyda? I hate her! How could I accept another option?”

He looked up with a tortured begging look, while his tears ran down his cheek.

“It hurts, Freyda! Every day! I have sworn to make it stop!”

He burried his head again in her chest. His muffled teary voice made the heart of the Galra cramp.

“But so much has changed. So much. For me and for her, Freyda. 

Freyda kept quiet. She didn’t know. All she knew was, that maybe the General and Ronan could find a solution together. But she wasn’t sure, how the General would react, when she would be sure of his reasons.

“She finally tries to do the right things. To fix the damage, she had done.”

Ronan nodded at Freyda, The grief in his face was overwhelming. 

“Yes, that’s another aspect.” He hesitated. “And Kathy likes her. I’m sure, it would hurt her. How could I hurt her? How could I hurt other people, who have helped us, Freyda? How could I betray Abby? How could...”

His voice broke. He simply broke out in tears again. He cried for a while until he looked in her face again, with a look, that was desperately begging for guidance.

“I blame her for Tantalus. She was responsible. I hate her for this. But this hate, this blind rage. It the true reason, but I couldn’t cage it out. I couldn’t...”

Freyda finally started to cry as well. Both hugged each other tight, weeping out their desperation. This situation was a mess, the war has caused. And it seemed, that it was too much to clean up, without drowning in them.

 

oOo

 

Veronica and Acxa took seat on their bed in the quarter. The woman took the hands of the Galra and rubbed with her thumbs over her knuckles. This time, she would offer Veronica to ask her questions, beside her worries.

“Fate is calling. That was the message, Freyda had brought me.”

She recognized the knowing look of her girlfriend and she started to chew on her cheek.

“But I see, you already know this translation.”

Veronica nodded, but her eyes kept focused on Acxa.

“Yes. And I have found out, that this is a ritual challenge. Ronan is demanding rightful revenge.”

Acxa sighed. She felt Veronica’s hands trembling. She was nervous as well. The situation was frightening for her girlfriend and seeing her so desperate and nervous made Acxa’s throat tighten again. 

“Yes.” She heard Veronica inhaling sharp.

“And you have accepted his demand, right?”

Acxa closed her eyes and tried to turn her head away, but instantly she felt Veronica's hand on her chin and the woman turned her face back to her.

“...Yes.”

A dead silence hung in the room. It took Veronica a while until she continued asking.

“Why?”

A vital question. Acxa didn’t know the exact reasons, but it was the best option. The only in fact for her. She was sure, that it was his right to demand revenge. She had seen his hate for her. She knew her past. The reasons must be hidden somewhere in this past. But she had to protect Veronica. Things were complicated and she wouldn’t risk to scare her again.

“I’m not sure.” She felt Veronica’s pensive look. “Promise me, not to turn mad again.”

“If you’ll be honest to me, then I’ll do my best.”

A little smile rushed over Acxa’s face. Honesty. She didn’t promised to stay cool, but to try to understand her. Like she always did. That was the way, how she had cracked her guards, one after another. And she loved her for that.

“Do you know those moments, when you make a decision, without knowing why, but you instantly knows for sure, that this is the right option?”

Veronica’s face showed sadness and worries, but she nodded at Acxa.

“It was the same in this case. I feel, that he has the right to demand revenge, but I simply don’t know why.”

She sighed again, waiting for another outburst of Veronica but to her surprise she was only pulled into another hug. So she continued her explanation, while she was holding her tight as well.

“I had hoped to find out more about him, but I failed. I couldn’t remember him. I have checked the official list of the members of the Hades colony, Freyda had mentioned, due to the meeting report, but I haven’t found his name.”

She recognized, that her voice got a teary and more desperate.

“And even if I had found his name, I never was on Hades, not even parts of my troops.”

Acxa felt a soothing kiss on her cheek. She looked in Veronica’s eyes and she got scared. The woman was frightened. Her voice was shaking heavy, as she faced the widened eyes of the Galra.

“And w… what about… Tantalus?”

Acxa’s blood ran cold. She remembered this assault. It was years ago. A great colony. Lots of quintessence to harvest. But the fights had become long and cruel. She remembered, that Haggar has put up the pressure on Lotor and so the witch had finally decided to burn down the whole colony in order to break any resistance. Haggar had send new bombs for this task. They had done their work, but this new system had also cost them a cruiser and lots of bombers, pilots and troops, because they had been incredible unstable. Acxa curled herself to a little ball in the bed. She remembered the purple fires, she remembered the hollowed screams, the fights, the terror. Lotor had have a giant quarrel with his mother about this new weapon system. Due to his reports she had promised not to work on with it. They had left the planet after this blazing attack at Lotor’s order. But she knew some reports. Resistance wasn’t broken, after this attack. It had only become more cruel and merciless. As the Galran forces had finally left the planet, they had payed a high price for the harvest.

“Acxa…?”

Veronica's voice was deeply worried. She tried to touch Acxas head, but the shock and fear only doubled in her face as Acxa shook her head heavily to deny her girlfriend to touch her. The Galra was shaking. She always was sure, that no one of the colony must have survived this harvest. The suit! Now she knew, why she had recognized the suit. She had seen those suits on Tantalus. The planet defense forces had worn those suits. She was shaking even heavier.

“You have been on Tantalus.”

Acxa managed to nod at Veronica. Her girlfriend was pale. She took a quilt and covered the Galra with it in order to stop her from shivering. Then she crawled under the quilt as well. It took a moment until Acxa recognized, that Veronica was crying and also had started to shiver. She turned around and looked in the red swollen eyes of her girlfriend.

“With Lotor and the others.” The Galra hesitated a bit. “As one of the commanding Generals.”

She expected a shocked scream, but Veronica simply got closer to her and cried on. Acxa placed a hand on her back.

“You don’t know about Tantalus?”

Acxa’s voice was trembling. She knew, that Veronica always had an idea of her past, but it was one thing to deal with a vague hint and now being confronted with an concrete idea, what dark places were to be found in her past.

“No. Only that the colony was extinguished by Galran troops six years ago.”

Acxa curled herself back to the shivering ball, she former was. Her conscious was gnawing on her. 

“It’s a terribly short summary for the guilt I have put on myself on this planet.”

To her surprise she felt Veronica’s arms around her. The woman started to rub her shoulders.

“Remember, what I have told you, as I confessed my love for you? ‘Through light and darkness.’”

Acxa turned back. There was still shock and fear in Veronica’s eyes. And Acxa was sure, that she was shocked, to be forced to face this dark truth of her past, but there was also determination. 

“But I meant it. I knew, that you were once part of this madness. But you were pushed in this direction.”

She recognized Acxa’s confused look and started to rub on her horns. Her face softened, leaving only grief and sadness on them.

“You speak much more in your sleep, than you might think of. I know some pictures of your dark hours and of the steps, you were forced to walk this way until you got used to it.”

Acxa blushed deep. Veronica never had asked her about this past. Only in some rare occasions, when she have had a really terrible nightmare or when Acxa had shared some memories by herself. She had offered her to talk about many times before. Without a direct question, but every time, she had told her stories about her own past, Acxa had understood, that this was also an offer to share some of her past with Veronica. But mostly she had stayed quite. And Veronica had shown patience. The patience and understanding, she needed so much. To realize, how many blanks her girlfriend might have filled for her own, surprised her. And at the same time it also didn’t. 

This love and trust, beside her dark past. This warming and supporting fire. She was surprised from the first moment, how easy the team had accepted her. Of cause she had to earn their trust, but they all had helped her to find her new place. But Veronica had not only dared to forgive her. She had found the strength to love her, beside all she had done. She pulled her closer again and kissed her. Veronica’s eyes were still wet, but she gave her a comforting smile.

“You haven’t to face this alone, Acxa. I don’t know much about this, but I know, that you have to make the next step.”

Acxa noticed the fire in Veronica’s eyes. She took a deep breath and snuggled at her girlfriend.

“Thank you.”

She felt Veronica’s grip tightened on her.

“Am I right, that this kind of revenge is about an eye for an eye?”

The Galra heard the worries. She kept silence, knowing, that this was answer enough for Veronica. The woman behind her sobbed and placed a kiss on her neck. To feel her fear and worries made Acxa’s chest tightened.

“But there might be a little hope.”

Acxa almost felt Veronica’s heart skipping a beat. So she continued her explanation.

“I have accepted his call with honor. This means a duel has to be planned. So now it’s, like you have already figured out, my turn to talk with him about the reasons and when and where this duel should take place.”

She could feel Veronica’s grip tightened around her. Like her girlfriend would try to hold her forever, to shield her from any possible harm. She was strong. It would make things tricky for Acxa. She had to be careful.

“Then there has to be the ‘Parfazzi’. It’s the time to prepare for the duel and, what is most important, for both sides to think over, if this duel is really necessary. If both sides should have come to the conclusion, that there would be another satisfying solution, to settle things, then they could present them at each other an the day of the duel. Then both had to decide instantly, accept the solution or fight things out.”

The silence in the room was almost too much for Acxa. She had expected a cheerful reaction. Something, what might have eased her own worries. But Veronica kept disturbingly quiet. She only tightened her grip around Acxa even more.

“You didn’t sound that you have much confident about this hope, Acxa.”

Her voice was weak and Acxa had to bite her bottom lip. No she hadn’t. She had destroyed his home, she has helped to kill his friends. And maybe even more. 

“He seems to have lost a lot.”

She couldn’t see her, but she was sure, that Veronica’s eyes were resting pensively on her. But she kept quite and so did Acxa. The golden ring. She still didn’t know, what had happened to him, but she had an idea, what he really had lost. It was the right decision to trust her instincts, that she had accepted the Call. Thanks to Freyda, she was sure, that the demand was rightful. By accepting, she had offered them a chance to settle things. To face horror and guilt. To regain honor. To find a closure. For both.

But she didn’t know, how to make this understandable for the rest of the team. And the woman behind her, she loves so much.


	13. Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know, if Pidge's reaction to Ronan's action fits her canon character, but I hope so.
> 
> !Warning! Description of a heavy scar and mentioning of torture in this chapter

It was an awful quiet way to the meeting room. Like promised, Veronica had fetched up Ronan at his quarter, but her former idea was to ask him one or two questions about his past. But Acxa was now at her side as well and so this thick silence was hanging between them, as they walked through the corridors of the ship. Acxa was at her right side, Ronan at her left and both seemed to do everything to avoid the look of the other. Veronica remembered Jessy’s warning look, as the door had opened. The kids must have returned from their trip through the Atlas with Hunk and Lance only minutes before they had come to the quarter to fetch up Ronan. The man was obviously in a somber mood. With this dark clouds above their heads they reached the meeting room. She gave Acxa a kiss.

“Give me an update, when you’re finished.”

She turned to Ronan, took a deep breath and offered him her hand. He looked at her with a little surprise.

“I don’t know, what Acxa’s rescue has meant for you, but for me it means everything.” 

Acxa noticed, that she was struggling heavy with her feelings but she also new, that nothing would stop her from this next step. Veronica were trembling, but her hand stayed offered between them and her eyes tried to burn holes in his skull. She added on aspect.

“Ask her, what war has taken from her.”

Seconds passed and Ronan kept focused on Veronicas look. But then he took her hand and shook it. Veronica release a deep breath of relief. 

“I will.”

He lifted his head and faced Acxa’s look. It seemed, that this conversation has only put more weight on his shoulders. But also Acxa felt visibly uncomfortable. Veronica didn’t cared about that. She nodded at Ronan and left both at the door.

“She doesn’t have told anyone, that we might have a duel, yet. But she will do so, if necessary.”

Ronans voice was stoic. Acxa chewed on her cheek. He was right. But Acxa wasn’t sure, when her red line would be reached.

“She protects what she loves.”

She recognized the tortured flicker in his eye, but to her surprise he simply nodded.

“I won’t blame her for that. Neither should you.” He hesitated a moment but then he sighed and faced Acxa’s look. “You’ll learn more about me within this meeting. Let’s see, how you’ll handle it.”

Acxa nodded back. She opened the door and both entered the meeting room.

 

oOo

 

It was a long meeting. All Paladins were present and Ronan was giving a detailed report. How the Galras had started their attack on the colony. How he and Freyda had managed to use an old crystal mine and gathered equipment from Hades to transform this mine into a proper hide. How they had found the children and how they had cared for them. How they had stolen supplies from the Galras and how he had hacked the com-system to create the hidden signal and to track down enemy forces. The team listened to his report with shock and astonishment. Sometimes Shiro asked some further questions about some details, but most of the time they only listened. Acxa was slipping around on her seat. She had a lot of burning questions, but she wouldn’t want to ask them here. But Shiro dared.

“Thank you, for this report. It has lightened up some dark places about the Galran presence on this planet. But I still have some questions.”

Ronan nodded at him. Acxa noticed, that he seemed to be nervous but also satisfied, that the Commander had some further questions.

“I didn’t expected anything less. Go ahead.”

Shiro smiled thankful.

“The bombs, you have mentioned. Freyda said, that this is a new kind of weapon system. Due to your report I have to agree. They seemed to be much more powerful.”

Ronan’s face darkened but he nodded in approval.

“Not really new, but improved. More stabilized. Fueled by raw quintessence.”

He turned his head to Acxa and all the other members did the same. She had to focus not to start shaking. This wouldn’t be pleasant.

“He’s right. Haggar had used this kind of bombs about six years ago, first. But she discarded there further development. They weren’t stable enough for a save use. We have lost a lot of troops and equipment due to these unstable weapons.”

She felt Ronan’s burning look but she tried to focus on the table. The visions of the blazing attack flashed through her mind.

“But why haven’t we heard from these weapons before? I mean, we must have some reports of this first use somewhere.”

Pidge’s voice was full of worries, but her face felt at Acxa’s response.

“Because there were no survivors left, who could tell you the story.”

A collective shocked gasp was released by the team. Only Ronan was facing her with a burning look. The Galra had crossed her arms before her chest, still facing the plate of the table, but her knuckles turned white by squeezing her arms. She had never felt so lonely before.

“It was on Tantalus, Lotor was ordered to break the resistance, but the colony was big and fought well. Haggar lost her patience and ordered him to use her newest technology to crush them. It worked, but with horrible result. The bombs made the colony burn for five days. The uncontrollable power didn’t spared friend or foe in this moment. We lost many troops in the firestorm, we had caused, because it spread out, like it was almost alive. It burned with such a rage and hate. More than half of our bombers exploded long before they reached their targets, because the bombs weren’t stable. Nearly all our big ships got damaged and we lost a whole cruiser to our own new weapons.”

She had closed her eyes during her report, but she still felt the looks on her. The shock and the sadness. And in Ronan’s case the loathing. She could feel it crawling up her spine. He was there.

“Lotor was shocked and mad about it. He had a big quarrel with his mother about it and after that he had left the planet with me and the rest of his Generals. Other Commanders have taken his place and have finished the harvest. I was sure, that no one would have survived this storm,...”

She looked up and faced Ronan. His face was hard as stone.

“...but your scars tell me, that you have stood strong in the eye of the storm and that you have survived Tantalus.”

The heads turned to Ronan. Shock and surprise was on every single one of them, while they observed the staring contest, the man and the Galra had started. Finally Ronan turned his head down with a bitter smile and a sarcastic snort.

“Scars. War has taught me different, General. They doesn’t show your courage. They only tell you, what war has taken from you.”

He looked up again, sharing a look with every member of the team and finally turned back to Acxa. She got nervous, but kept controlled.

“You’re right. I was on Tantalus. I was there, as purple fire consumed the colony and every poor man, woman or child, who was trapped in the city. I hear the screams every night. I have seen a flaming death walking through this inferno, demanding lives, no matter if it was human or Galra. I have seen, what you have brought to me, General, my scars can tell you the story of the pain, I have to feel every single moment from this day on.”

He placed a hand on his bionic eye and twisted it, so that the implant unlocked. Terror and disgust came to Acxa’s face. She barely recognized the tortured shouts and screams from the others. As soon as the implant was out of power by the twist, a former unnoticed holo-field collapsed. It uncovered the shocking truth of the left side of Ronans face. He put out the bionic eye to give all of them a full view on the face. Almost the whole left face was a dimpled and wrinkled burning mark. The skin had an unhealthy flaming red color. His ear was gone. At some places parts of the jawbone were to been seen and his cheek had some holes in it. His nose was almost missing and so many parts of his former lips. It was to been seen, that what was left of nose and lips was rebuild by a lot of surgeries. Tears were in his remaining eye as he stood up to come as close as possible to Acxa to give her a detailed view on his face.

“So tell me, General. What did my scars tells you what war has taken from me?”

Acxa turned away in shame and disgust. She noticed, that Pidge was standing up and leaving the room with haste, her hands pressed before her mouth. The dead silence in the room was almost choking. For the first time no one was sure, what to say. Ronan walked back to his chair and put his implant back at his place. The holo-field got back to work, covering the heavy scars, leaving the illusion of some nearly vanished burning marks. Ronan’s voice turned back to the controlled level, he had used during his report, but Acxa noticed that his left thumb was heavily rubbing the fingertips of the other four fingers.

“The fact, that the fire was out of control helped me to escape the inferno. The Galran forces had to retreat from their own firestorm. I collapsed outside of the city and AMRASU found me and saved my life. He did best he could with my face and thanks to him I was able to use this Galran implant for my own purpose. Due to obvious reasons I have customized it to maintain this little holo-field. I managed to leave the planet with AMRASU as Lotor retreated with his forces. So I ended on Hades, where I helped to fight of the Galran troops.”

“Only to see, that the humans there weren’t better.”

Ronan’s eye widened in surprise. Lance was still breathing heavily but has turned to Ronan with a shocked face. But grief and bitterness was in it as well. Ronan nodded at him.

“Correct. I had started to handle things… different after I left Tantalus.”

“You mean, that you have started to bury Galran soldiers, if possible.”

Ronan nodded at Allura’s quote and continued his explanation.

“This had caused troubles, but I was a great help, so it was tolerated until I found out about Freyda and what they had done to her. I ordered them to stop immediately, they only laughed at me and tried to shut my mouth. None of them is laughing anymore.”

He wiped away a tear and sighed.

“I am sick of it. So sick of it all. I’m...”

He struggled with his words. He had reached his limit for today. He slammed his fist on the meeting table and observed his trembling hand. But Acxa wanted to know one last thing for today.

“You’ve showed the highest respect for your enemy. Why?”

Her shaky voice sounded weak and empty. He focused on her again and a flicker of grief rushed over his face. But his eye was burning with determination.

“They have also someone, who’s crying for them. Who’s missing them. I have seen it on Tantalus. War is taking from all of us. How should this all stops, when there is no sign of respect for each other?”

He stood up and closed the distance between himself and Acxa. An hateful glitter was in his eye.

“I don’t blame them. I don’t blame Galras in general. I blame the Generals and their leaders. The minds behind this madness. That’s the difference.” 

Acxa was breathing hard. She felt the weight of his pain pushing her down. Now she understood and he noticed this fact. He nodded and walked to the door. The shocked team was watching him getting closer to the panel. No one said a word. He was about to open the door, when a still pale Pidge opened it from outside. She did a scared gasp and winced in surprise. Ronan gave her a tired look and took a step aside to let her in. The young Paladin rushed inside the room.

“If you’re planning to strike down the facility ship, then you’ll need more information. I have added all the files, I could get from the systems down on the planet at my report. But there is still a great lack of detail. I couldn’t risk to draw too much attention, when we were on our own. But now things are different. If you want my help down on the planet, then I’ll do my best to assist you. Haggar must be stopped. These weapons must be destroyed.”

He turned back and faced the team. Keith was the first, who got his breath back.

“Thank you, Ronan. We accept your help.”

The man nodded at him and left the room.

 

All of the team stared still in shock and sadness at each other. Pidge was the first, who dared to speak again.

“This is horrible.”

Her voice was teary. She shared questioning looks with the others, but within time all eyes remained on Acxa. The Galran had closed her eyes. Her lip was quivering. She was about to cry and this worried the team. They had expected, that she would leave the room, before showing such emotions in front of them, but the woman seemed to be frozen on her chair. 

She was trembling and it seemed, that the whole weight of this mess started to crush down on her. She remembered Tantalus. She had nearly escaped the flames as well this day. She had seen, what this bombs had done. But she had once discarded it as a necessary evil. So much guilt, so much pain. She now understood his demand of revenge. And due to Freyda’s hint, she knew now, how much deeper this cut had to be. And she didn’t knew, how to fix this. Suddenly she felt arms wrapped around her. She opened her eyes in surprise and she looked in the teary eyes of Allura. The Altean gave her a comforting nod and hugged her tight again. Acxa hesitated a moment, but then she returned her hug. She felt her tears coming to her eyes and suddenly Pidge hugged both and then Lance and Hunk, followed by Keith and Shiro.

“We know, that your past has a lot of dark sides. But we have accepted you as one of the team. You’re not alone with this. We’re all here to help you through this.”

Allura’s voice was warm and comforting. They stayed in this group hug for a while until all of them took seat again. Everyone was wiping away one tear or another. Keith was the first, who got back to a serious look. He faced Acxa.

“He has a problem with you. Now we understand, why. This will mean trouble. Correct me, if I’m wrong, Acxa.”

The Galra took a deep breath. It was still her business, but she trusted them.

“Maybe. But not for now.” She hesitated a moment to search for the right words. “We’re working on a solution.”

Keith raised an eyebrow. Lance and Hunk shared looks between Keith and Acxa, but Allura’s face got an alarmed expression.

“Freyda. Is this solution linked with her message from the treatment room?”

Acxa sighed again. She was sure, that it was better to tell them a bit more, but not all.

“Yes. It was a demand to clean air.”

“Freyda had phrased it quite different. She had called it a warning.”

Pidge sounded worried. She had noticed, that the Galra was holding back something. Acxa felt uncomfortable. It was something highly personal, for Ronan and for her and she wouldn’t pull the other into this situation. But staying quite wasn’t an option as well.

“Correct. It was a warning, that I have to face consequences, if I had ignored his demand, but I haven’t. I’ll meet him within the next days. Until we have found a final solution, both sides have accepted to cause no problems for each other. It’s about honor and after all I have heard and seen from him, I’m absolute sure, that he would respect the terms. And so do I”

She shared a burning look with everyone.

“But this is my business, not yours.”

She stood up and started to leave the room, as Hunk made her stop. He had placed a hand on her shoulder and turned her around. He looked deeply worried.

“You said, maybe. What if you two couldn’t find a solution?”

He kept facing her look until she closed her eyes and turned her head aside.

“Trust me. There will be a solution.”

She wanted to walk away, but Hunk tightened his grip around her shoulders. She watched at him in surprise and slight anger. But her anger faded as she recognized the grief in his face.

“That’s the problem, Acxa. I totally trust you in this case. We all do.”

He hugged her for a goodbye.

“We won’t push you for now, but please, let us help to find a way, before you choose a path on your own, we couldn’t accept.”

He squeezed her a bit.

“We’re worried about you, Acxa.”

Her eyes got a thankful glitter, when Hunk released her out of his hug. She shared a shy smile with the members of the team. The others were smiling back and Keith and Allura nodded in approval. Acxa sighed and finally left the room.

Shiro turned to Keith with a serious look.

“Could you ask your mother about this demand?”

Keith closed his eyes and nodded.

“I will. But if we’re right about what we all seem to fear, then I’m not sure, if she would support our intention to interfere. Honor is a touchy subject for Galras.”

Shiro nodded, but his face showed determination.

“Nevertheless we have to try. I understand both, but I won’t let the situation escalate. And I will do all I must to protect both from doing doing something stupid.”

Keith nodded and also the others got a determinant look. They wouldn’t let them hurt each other more.


	14. Decisions and Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have created my own idea of Acxa's background here. A fitting one, I hope.
> 
> The part in italics is a dream sequence.

“ _Ronan!”_

  _Pure terror crawled over his body. This panicked voice was burning hotter on him, than the purple fire around him and let his blood freeze to ice at the same time. The howling of the firestorm made his ears bleed. He couldn’t get the correct direction. All around him was fire, leaking, hunting, hurting, burning, screaming in rage and madness, swallowing everything it could reach, never satisfied only encouraged with every piece of life it was able to consume. The flames lashed out for the running figures within this blazing inferno, howling in triumph with every victim they stroke down, roaring in frustration, when they missed another one, only to double their attempts to consume this poor life._

 “ _Ronan!”_

  _He turned around and saw a silhouette. His eyes widened and he sprinted over to the figure._

 “ _Abby!”_

  _He saw the fear in her eyes, but also relief. They had found each other. She ran towards him, reaching out her hand. But then horror took over. Her scream was blown away by a diabolic howl. He saw purple flames swallowing her with absolute horror. He wanted to jump in the flames to save her, but with a mocking and humiliating howl, the flames lashed out for his face, punching him back on the ground, denying him, to join her in death._

  _His love._

  _His life._

  _His tortured screams filled the street, mixing itself with infernal noise around him. He felt the flames burning his flesh and the raw power, which seemed to fuel this fire, burning its way in his body. This fire wanted to consume him, but this pain was nothing compared to the pain, which was trying to break out of him. It fought back the fire and brought him back on his feet. His terror grew, as the flames, who had swallowed her, parted. He sprinted over to her and broke down on his knees. What the fire had left of her was curled together. He wanted to scream, but he couldn’t anymore. The pain was too much. But it still wasn’t over._

 “ _It hurts, Ronan. Please, make it stop...”_

 

He woke up, bathed in his own sweat. His breathing was panicked and he was shaking. He suddenly felt a hand on his head and a soothing melody filled the room. Ronan turned to his right side in bed. Freyda’s eyes were glowing in the dim light of the room. She was humming this sweet melody for him, stroking his head. She smiled, but he could see the tears in her eyes. He knew, how much his pain was hurting her as well. How she was also tortured by his nightmares. Like he was tortured by hers. They had no secrets before each other about their scars. It wouldn’t work, if there would be any. They could only bare this burden together. Ronan returned her smile and started to stroke gently her cheek. He felt her hand sliding to his bionic eye and heard the click, as she twisted it and slowly removed his implant, to place it on the nightstand. Then she carefully ran with her fingers over his scared face until he took her hand and pressed it softly on his burned side of his face. He closed his eye and consumed this warming touch and the soothing humming of her.

 “I’ll break an oath I have sworn, Freyda.”

 She stopped humming and he opened his eye to face her beautiful eyes. He recognized her observant look.

 “I couldn’t forget, what has happened on Tantalus. I’ll never.”

Ronan felt her scanning look. He needed her guidance. He knew, he would do the right thing, but in this special case, he needed her acceptance so much. More than everything. Because without her support, he wouldn’t survive it. Not in this case. He knew, that he would questioning himself. Over and over again. He knew, that this step has to be made, but he would need her help or he would fall on his way. He felt her thumb starting to rub over his cheek. Freyda smiled sad and weak at him, but she nodded. She came closer and kissed him, long and deep. It was the answer he had hoped for. His voice was teary as their lips finally parted.

 “Thank you, Freyda. I cannot do it without you.”

 She kissed him on his forehead and smiled at him.

 “I know, Ronan. Now sleep. Tomorrow, we’ll start with training. We need to see, what you gained back thanks to rest and proper food.”

 Both took each other in their arms. They slept peaceful for the rest of the night, snuggled together as close as they could.

 

oOo

 

Acxa was on her way to the training grounds on the ship. She had talked with Veronica about the meeting and about Ronan. Both couldn’t find sleep this night and so Veronica had dared to ask her more about Tantalus. At first she had hesitated, like she always did, but then she had started to talk about the fights, the dreadful attack and her own horror, she had taken with her from this planet. The talk had somehow drifted away to her childhood. How she has been treated by the other Galras as a half-blood. How she was pushed into the army to survive. How they had formed her to a deadly soldier.

More than once she was about to end the talk. Every time, Veronica broke out in tears, every time the terror of her girlfriend seemed to swallow the human, but she hadn’t let Acxa stop. This time she wanted to know everything. Everything she needed to get a true picture of her pain and her guilt. Of what war has taken from her. Only to give her something back to ease her pains. They had laid together for hours, snuggled together to share soothing and comforting touches to ease each others worries and pains. To carry this heavy burden together. Veronica hadn’t pushed her away in the end of the night. No she had only pulled her closer. Acxa had felt the human' arms tighten around her, like she was trying to shield her from any harm. To offer her the security and peace to let old wounds heal, she already had forgotten, that they were existing.

 - Let me be part of your strength. -

Every time she was about to stop talking about her painful past, Veronica had stepped in with these words. She had kissed Acxa every time, when she had chosen this phrase. She had cherished her ability to handle this burden. This had made her open herself for the human. Veronica didn’t denied, that she could handle this pain. She had asked her to be part of her strength as well. To aid her in her struggle. To ease her fight. She had turned one fear of weakness into a source of strength this night. Acxa had let her be part of her strength. Because she had seen, how strong Veronica was. But she wasn’t sure, if she would be able to understand the full burden, she had decided to carry. Acxa had chosen carefully, how much she had told her from her past. And she had left some careful blanks. She wouldn’t scare Veronica even more. So she slipped out of their quarter in the early morning. The corridors were still quiet. She seemed to be alone with her thoughts and her worries.

How should she find a solution, Ronan could accept. A solution, she could accept as well. The attack seemed to have taken everything from him and has left an burned and marked man. And he was right. She was in command on Tantalus. Like Lotor, Ezor, Zethrid and Narti. Two of them were already gone. Swallowed by this madness, she was once part of as well.

The things she had seen and done in the past were also hunting her, like they seem to hunt Ronan. Her face got darker, while the corridor seemed to stretch to infinity. She had fought and killed willingly for the Galran Empire. They had made her believe that these things were done rightful and with honor. Necessary to restore and maintain peace. She thought back how she was treated as she was young. Her memory fought back its way to her mind through a fog of guilt and pain.

How she had to watch Galras attack her parents.

How they have defended her as long as they could.

How the other Galras have called them scum and a shame for all Galras.

How her dying parents have begged her to flee.

How she had to survive on her own and finally was caught after years and how they have forced her to forget and to believe in their twisted ideas. In Haggar’s and Zarkon’s twisted ideas.

She slammed her fist at the wall and stopped in the corridor. Tears were in her eyes and she breathed heavy. Ronan had helped her to finally face this guilt. Not only Tantalus. To gain back some honor, she had lost in her past, without recognizing it. She needed to get back this honor.

But Veronica and her friends.

And the children.

Kathy.

It wouldn’t be fair.

She needed to find a solution.

A better one.

But in the end, the guilt had to be cleaned. She couldn’t carry on this shame on her own anymore.

She sighed and walked on down the corridor, hoping that trashing something into pieces might help her to clear her mind and to find a good idea, how to handle everything.


	15. Better Moods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little part out of my personal created Galran dictionary. 'Szechach' should be the Galran word for 'half-blood' and at the same time for 'dirt' or 'rubbish'. In this interpretation of this universe a Galra would make no difference between and so no other word should exist for 'half-blood' without this negative aspect in Galran language. Jessy had used this word because it's the only word existing and without the negative connotation in mind, but the only way to express this as a non-Galra is the context and the pronunciation. A hard and sad idea, I know, but due to the little information I could get, it seems to me a possible one.
> 
> Warning for this chapter: Mentioning of violence against children and mentioning of an raping attempt.

Acxa heard the punching sounds and some forceful shouts, as soon as she entered the the training room. Her eyes widened in surprise. Jessy was sparring with AMRASU. The legs of the robot were covered with paddings and the machine presented the girl various legs in a remarkable speed. The girl punched and kicked the contact zones with quick and skilled movements. From time to time she dodged controlled strikes of the machine, only to start a new round of attacks from another side.

“Okay AMRASU, a short break.”

Jessy had noticed Acxa entering the room and the robot took down all its legs and walked aside. Jessy walked to a trainings bank and took a towel to remove some of her sweat. Then she took up two trainings pads and walked over to Acxa, who had slowly reached the middle of the room. Jessy simply clapped with the pads twice as an offer for Acxa to be her sparring partner. The Galran hesitated a moment, but then took fighting position.

“Simple warm up. Left, left, right, right, all straight, kick left.”

Acxa nodded and started with the combo. She wasn’t sure, how hard she could start, but right after the second turn, she recognized, that she didn’t needed to hold back. The girl in front of her had a good stand and seemed to be used to handle hard blows in such a session. Soon they changed to more complex and faster combos, but the girl handled the strikes. Acxa was sweating as well after twenty minutes.

“Okay, now your turn.”

Jessy nodded at Acxa’s offer and handed her the pads. They did the similar session, like Acxa before. The Galran was surprised, by the hard and fast strikes, the girl was able to deliver. They continued the session without a word, until Jessy also had finished even the last complex combo. Acxa nodded at the girl with respect.

“You had good teachers.”

A little smile rushed over Jessy’s lips.

“Thank you, you too.”

Acxa nodded, but her face showed some grief. Jessy didn’t missed that. She took her towel and handed Acxa a second one.

“I think, we both had to learn fast in order to survive. It must have been hard to grow up as a ‘Szechach’.”

Acxa bit her bottom lip. It seemed that Freyda had taught her a lot about Galran culture. Jessy’s scanning eyes were full of understanding.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to cut in open wounds.”

Acxa shook her head.

“No, it’s okay. You’ve hit the nail on the head.”

The teenager gave her a sad face.

“I know, Freyda has shared some of her knowledge with me.”

The teenager took the towel to rub some sweat out of her hair.

“Training has become a way to come down and to clear my mind. And as long as we were stuck on this planet it was also necessary to survive. I’m the oldest kid. I had to be prepared in case...”

Jessy’s voice felt. She didn’t finished the sentence. Acxa was standing beside her and struggled a moment with herself but then she placed a hand on the kids shoulder. The girl looked up and the Galra simply nodded at her. Jessy took place on the trainings bank and nodded with her head on the free space on her right side.

“You still might have questions. About Ronan and Freyda, about me and about Kathy. Today I’m in the right mood, ask, if you want and I may give you some answers. Your choice.”

Acxa took place beside her. She thought over her bunch of questions, she still had about everything and then started with their last meeting.

“Kathy.”

Jessy nodded.

“My family and hers were friends before the colony was attacked. We got separated and it was total coincidence, that I have found her again.”

The voice of the teenager got darker.

“This bastard had stroke down her mother. He had a dagger and had hurt her badly. Kathy tried to protect her, but he had cut her with the blade all over her face.”

She started to tremble and had made fists in anger. Jessy pressed her fingers so hard to a fist, that her knuckles turned white. Her breathing became pressed and heavy.

“I will never forget her scream in this moment. I’m not really sure, what has happened after he had hurt her. All I clearly remember again is, that I was treating Kathy’s wound and that we had cried at her dead mother.”

Acxa hesitated again but then she took Jessy’s hand. The girl watched her doing so, but then she squeezed it.

“I took care for her from this day on, until Ronan found me and saved me from a group of men, who tried to take all from me.”

At this moment Acxa dared to go a step further. She remembered, how much comfort Veronica had offered her last night. She wasn’t sure, if this would be welcomed, but she wanted to show, that she understood her pain. She understood so much of it. So she carefully pulled her into a hug. Jessy let her do so and rested a moment in her arms until she carefully pulled herself out of the hug. She gave her a thankful nod.

“I still care for her a bit more than for the others. Don’t get me wrong, we all have grown together. I love them. They are my family now. But the band between Kathy and me is special in a sad and bitter way.”

Acxa swallowed hard, as she faced the determined look of the girl.

“Now I know, why you have warned me. I respect that. More than you might know.”

Jessy nodded.

“I beg you to be gentle to her. Thanks to our new family, she had learned to trust again. She seems to have an eye for other peoples scars. To see her trying to help healing them after all she has been through is so much more, than I ever have hoped for her. Don’t let her loose this new gained trust.”

Acxa nodded back with teary eyes. She took a deep breath, before she continued asking.

“So she’s doing the same with you. And all the other kids. And with Ronan and Freyda, I guess.”

Jessy’s eyes got a bright glow. She nodded heavy at Acxa.

“Yes. In fact their scars have made her trust them, especial Ronan’s.”

Acxa’s face got pale as she mentioned his scar. The girl noticed that and her face got darker again.

“He has finally shown you his face behind his mask.”

Acxa chewed her cheek.

“I still fear only a part of it. Only the visible.”

Jessy smiled sad but she seemed to be glad, that Acxa hasn’t forgotten her hint.

“It’ll be his part, to show you the rest. I haven’t talked with him about your upcoming duel, but I hope, that there will be a chance for both of you would find another way to settle things.”

She stood up and orders Acxa to come with her. The Galra followed the girl to a mirror, which was at one wall. The girl pushed on a button at a panel beside the mirror and a screen popped up, which showed another trainings room. Two people were in a heavy fight within this room, an human and a Galra. Acxa inhaled sharp. Her eyes widened in shock and surprise. Ronan and Freyda were attacking each other with blades. The strikes were delivered with deadly strength and enormous speed.

“This is training for him.”

Acxa recognized, that Jessy’s voice was also shaking.

“I have seen this many times before, but I still couldn’t get used to it.”

Acxa’s look returned to the screen. Freyda was breathing hard. It was obvious, that she didn’t held anything back. But Ronan deflected her strikes and countered her attacks every time. Then with a sudden move, he increased the speed, striking Freyda’s blade out of her hand, like she never had have a good grip on it and pinning her down on the ground. Both stayed for a second in this position, then he offered her a hand and pulled the Galra up again. He handed her his blade and this time she attacked him, while he defended himself without any other weapon. It was all the same. The Galra didn’t seemed to have a chance against him. Jessy noticed the surprised and shocked look of Acxa.

“Look closer at him.”

The girl let the camera focusing on Ronan. Acxa got pale. The breath of the man was still controlled, unlike Freyda’s and he was barely sweating.

“How is this possible?”

Her shocked look was faced by uncertain look for the teenager.

“I don’t know, but it scares me every time.”

She took a deep breath in.

“Like I don’t know, how he could have survived the last eight weeks without any sleep. Or the former months after the arrival of Galran troops with less than three or four hours of sleep every day.”

But now her eyes got a warning glow.

“But I know, that a duel would kill you.” She hesitated a moment and her face looked like she was hurt by something. “And I’m not a fan of this solution.”

Acxa raised an eyebrow, this quote had caught her off guard. The girl closed the observing screen and both returned to the trainings bank.

“I trust Kathy and I trust myself. I don’t know much about Tantalus, Freyda does. But I know enough, that I’m sure about his reasons for this call. Some persons doing dark things, because they love it. Others have no choice. They simply want to survive and later they get used to it.”

Acxa bit her bottom lip. She felt the Jessy’s eyes on her.

“I think you belong to the last ones. And much more important, you have started to change things. You have chosen a new way.”

She saw the burning look in Jessy’s eyes. The determination in the girls face let her eyes glow like two bright stars.

“They have shown me, that changes are possible. Ronan believes in this, like he also believes in honor. This counts for him. There has to be be the chance to find another way. For both of you.”

She stood up and took a few steps away from Acxa. Her face was hidden for the Galra now, but Jessy’s voice was dark and dangerous.

“In the end, I care more for him, than for you. I can easily think of a bunch of terrible consequences for him, when this duel should become reality. I’ll try to protect him from this. And I know Freyda is trying the same.”

She turned back to Acxa and the Galra noticed, that her bottom lip was quivering. The teenager was again struggling with her feelings.

“And if I’m right about you, then you deserve a chance.”

Acxa’s mouth was dry. Her tongue seemed to be heavy and felt swollen, but it wasn’t. She watched at the trembling girl. She saw a bit of her own strength in her, when she had been as young as Jessy was.

“You have encouraged Veronica to keep on asking?”

The girl nodded and faced the look of the woman, who continued with her questions.

“Ronan has said, I shouldn’t blame her for trying to protect me.”

A smile rushed over Jessy’s lips.

“He’s right.” She took a deep breath in. “So take any help you could get, cause if you couldn’t convince him...” She nodded back to the mirror. “...I think you have a clue, what this would mean for you.”

Acxa’s face felt. She remembered the scared and tortured face of the man from yesterday. He was fighting demons. She understood Jessy’s worries. Ronan seemed to fight so many battles at the same time. So many different demons. And out of nowhere there was the chance to end one of these fights. Like her was offered a chance to come clean. To handle her own guilt.

“He doesn’t blames the soldiers, he blames their commanders. I was one of them. How did he found out about me and Tantalus.”

Jessy’s eyes flickered in surprise and worry.

“He was an engineer on Tantalus. Maybe he had managed to hack in some systems? I really don’t know.” She did a short break and nodded for herself. “That’s why he calls you only General.”

Jessy hit her chest with her fist nodded at Acxa. The Galra’s eyes widened in surprise, but she returned the respectful greeting.

“Kathy had asked for you. You should visit her after your training.”

The teenager left the room, followed by AMRASU.

Acxa went quite. She was taking her towel but her thoughts had left the room. Flashes from the burning city rushed through her mind. And the deformed ring, Freyda had shown her. Rightful revenge. She felt her stomach cramping. She had seen his hate, this dreadful fire, fueled by his grief. It had also lightened a fire of hate in herself. And this fire was growing dangerously within her. She was one of his demons, how could she refuse him the chance to get rid one of them. Especially when it meant, that she could also get rid of her own at the same time.


	16. The Dark in the Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !WARNING!
> 
> Okay, this chapter contains the most touchy theme I have worked with, so far. And some other touchy aspects more. A special thanks to TalesOfOnyxBats, for all the inspiration in her stories and the help, how to approach such a touchy theme.
> 
> This chapter contains mentioning of cruel drill camps and it mentions the results of a rape and how this person had handled this crime. To make it clear, it's a fictional story and it is no kind of order, advice or judgment, how a person should handle such a shocking crime!

Acxa was nervous. She was standing before Ronan’s and Freyda’s quarter but she didn’t dare to use the buzzer. How should she explain a little child, why she had rejected her help. She remembered the hurt face of the little kid and it was knotting her guts.

“Hey Acxa, why are you here?”

She winced and turned around in surprise. Pidge, Hunk and Lance were closing the distance between the corner, the group had passed seconds before and the Galra.

“Are you here to talk with Ronan?”

Hunk’s voice was getting serious and he released an audible gasp, as the Galra shook her head.

“Kathy had asked for me.”

She avoided the pensive looks from Pidge and Hunk, but Lance started to smile.

“Great, we came for the other kids. We wanted to invite them for a basketball game and some Popsicles. You can join us with Kathy.”

Before Acxa could start a protest, he had pushed the buzzer. Acxa thought about to leave before any of the kids might see her, but the door opened right at the moment, when she was about to turn around on spot. Christina had opened the door and a happy smile grew on her face.

“Lance!”

The Paladin beamed at her.

“Hey Chrissy, like I promised. We’re back and ready for a game. Gather the others, it’s time to play basketball.”

The kid nodded with a wide smile and turned around.

“Jessy, Patrick, Clarissa, Sam, Kathy! Lance, Hunk and Pidge are back. And they have brought Acxa with them. They want to play basketball with us.”

A cheerful noise started to fill the quarter. The kids came running to the Paladins and slammed into them with joyful screams and laughters. It seemed, that the day with the pilots of the lions had made a great impression on them. Acxa noticed Freyda approaching with Tjaàl on her arm. The kid was still sleeping beside the cheerful noise. Jessy and Kathy also approached. The eyes of the little girl widened, as she spotted Acxa. The Galra blushed and turned her head embarrassed to the ground. But she lifted it instantly, at Kathy’s happy voice.

“Acxa!”

The child rushed to the Galra. The next thing Acxa realized was, that she has got down on her knees, to give the little girl a hug. The child had wrapped her arms around her neck and had snuggled her cheek against Acxa’s. A warm and satisfied smile was on Kathy’s lips while she nuzzled her head at Acxa with closed eyes. The Galra recognized the warm smiles around her. Even Freyda and Jessy shared a smile with her and the other Galra nodded in approval. She felt a little hand wiping away a tear from her cheek.

“’ou okay?”

The kid looked worried at her but her smile returned, as Acxa gave her a shy smile.

“Yes, Kathy. I’m only happy, that you aren’t mad with me about refusing your help.”

The little girl pointed with her finger on the middle of Acxa’s chest.

“It’s okay. These outchies are worst.”

Acxa and also the Paladins shared baffled looks with each others.

“Like I said. She has an eye for scars. Also for the hidden ones.”

Jessy also joined the group in the corridor. Her voice was gentle and she playfully messed up Kathy’s hair, which made the child giggle. Acxa wanted to stand up, but the girl kept her arms around the Galra’s neck, so she was forced to lift her up. As soon as she got a good and comfortable grip on Kathy, the girl started to rub her horns again. Acxa was about to break out in tears. She shared looks between Kathy and Jessy. A child shouldn’t have an idea of such scars, but Kathy did. They all did. She took four or five deep breaths and focused on the soothing rubbing of the kid with closed eyes, until she opened them up again. She shared a weak but thankful smile with all of them and turned to Lance.

“Alright, let’s play.”

 

oOo

 

“Whooh! And another point for Team-Sharp-Shooter!”

Lance was celebrating another point with Pidge, Christine, Patrick and Sam.

“Oh yeah? Let’s see, how you’ll handle our answer, big mouth?”

Hunk’s obviously faked anger forced Acxa to roll her eyes, as she was passing the ball over to Hunk. Lance instantly started to make a exaggerated concentrated face and got in close contact with his chest at Hunks shoulder, who was guarding the ball whit his body, while he was dribbling. Jessy was laughing warm about the great show of the two guys. The happy sound filled the court and only encouraged both to put more efforts in their show. Lance faked a slight touch with his hand at Hunks shoulder. The big man jumped back, instantly, like he was hit by an giant tank and rolled trice over the field, yelling a loud protest about a rude foul, which obviously hasn’t happened. The hall was filled with the cheerful laughters of the kids and Lance and Hunk started a ‘serious’ discussion about bad acting.

Freyda was observing the scenery with a smile on her lips. To see the kids having such a good time, after all the went trough, simply warmed her heart. She had taken place on a trainings bank with Tjaàl. The baby was busy, slamming his hands on another basketball with high cheerful screams. The Galra was holding him together with the ball on her upper legs. She turned her head to the doorway, as Veronica entered the hall. The woman laughed out loud, as she watched Acxa, Jessy, Clarissa and Hunk bulldozing a free way for Kathy who was carrying the ball with joyful high screams of fun towards the basket of ‘Team-Sharp-Shooter’. Her happy screams only grew louder, as she had reached the basket and she was lifted up by Hunk high in the air, so she could reach the ring and easily pushing the ball into the basket. It warmed her heart so much to see Acxa finally laughing as well. Hunk had lifted the kid down again and the child had crushed into Acxa with a chuckling laughter. She noticed Freyda and the scanning look of the Galra, so she walked over to her and took seat beside the woman. Tjaàl beamed at her and forced Veronica to smile along with him, while he was joyful cooing. Suddenly, Freyda took Tjaàl up and offered Veronica the chuckling baby. The woman’s eyes widened in surprise. She was about to refuse the offer, but Freyda simply placed the baby on Veronica’s lap. The human watched the baby with nervousness, but the child only showed a observant curiosity.

“Be careful.”

Freyda’s voice had an light impish flicker in it, but Veronica missed it. She was too nervous and too focused not to make a mistake with the baby, that she only noticed the words, but not the hidden subtext. She was about to turn to Freyda in order to ask, why she should be careful, when Tjaàl gave her the answer. The baby grabbed her glasses with a quick but surprisingly strong move of his arms and ripped it off her face with a squeaking laughter. The woman did a short shocked gasp, but started to laugh about Tjaàl’s curiosity. The baby already had started to chew on her glasses.

“Hey little one, I need these ones to see your beautiful smile.”

Freyda smiled warm at both and took gently the glasses out of the baby’s hands. Veronica took them with a thankful smile. She wiped them clean at her suit and put them back on her nose. Tjaàl gave her an most innocent smile, but this time she was prepared and could block his hands with a beaming smile.

 

oOo

 

Jessy gave Acxa a little shove and nodded at the trainings bank. The Galra turned around and her eyes widened in surprise. But then a warm tickling started in her belly. It found its way up and down her body, warming her pleasantly from the inside. She saw Veronica clumsy and carefully holding Tjaàl. Acxa nearly laughed out loud, as the child grabbed the glasses of her girlfriend. But an almost teary warm smile remained at she finally watched Veronica playing with the baby, with one of her beautiful smiles on her lips. She was her strength. She would ever be.

“Hey Acxa! We’re not finished, yet. Or do you give up?”

Pidge was teasing her with a bright smile. Acxa returned an impish grin.

“Dream on, little girl.”

 

oOo

 

Veronica lifted her head and observed the game with a warm smile. She was now also holding the ball for Tjaàl and the baby was busy again, hitting the ball with the palms of his tiny hands.

“She seems to melt.”

Veronica turned her head to Freyda. The Galra watched her with a gentle smile. The woman turned her head back and watched Kathy trying to take away the bouncing ball from Pidge. She nodded.

“Yes she does. And not only Kathy. All of the kids.”

Freday started to chuckle.

“You’re right, but I wasn’t talking about the kids.”

Veronica raised an eyebrow in surprise, but she focused on the game again. She observed Acxa. The Galra’s face looked different, indeed. The seriousness, the worries, the guards her girlfriend was always showing, when other people were around were vanished from her face. The woman was smiling and laughing with the kids, especially with Kathy. Tears of joy came to Veronica’s eyes.

“Yes. I never have seen her so open with other people.”

Freyda nodded. Veronica was sure, that she had expected this answer. So she started to think about it. And a suggestion came to her mind, But she would also chose a winding way.

“You have an idea, what Acxa has been through?”

She recognized a sparkle in the corner of the Galra’s eyes. The woman faced her with her scanning look.

“An idea and some hard facts. She was a capable General and a respected soldier, so some steps of her career aren’t foreign for me. But she is also a ‘Szechach’, a half-blood. Galran society isn’t nice to them. Even if they manage their way in the army”

Veronica’s face darkened. The last long night came to her mind.

“She has finally told me more about her past last night. How she became a soldier.”

Veronica took a deep breath. She felt the burning yellow eyes looking in her soul. But there was an understanding in this look. An silent offer, given with patiences. The kind of she had given Acxa so often.

“She had lived on the streets alone for some years, before she got caught stealing food. Because she had managed to survive for so long on her own as a child, “mercy” was shown and she was brought to a drill-camp.”

Tears weeped up in her eyes. It still shocked her, how hard Acxa’s life must have been. She suddenly felt Freday’s hand resting on her shoulder. The Galra’s eyes also got a wet glitter.

“She was taught to fight and to kill in this camp and so she survived and after she had accomplished the drill, she became a member of the Galran forces.”

Freyda kept scanning her and suddenly sadness rushed over her face, but also understanding.

“She has spared you the details, I see.”

Veronica’s look got shocked and alarmed. The woman beside her kept observing her.

“I think, this is a mistake. You can handle them. You have to, otherwise you couldn’t understand her.”

Veronica got pale, but she got a grip on Freyda’s wrist. Her look was still shocked but full of determination. She kept locked with the yellow eyes.

“She has to talk with you about her experiences, trust me, because if this was all, she has told you about these camps, it’s a terrible insufficient picture.”

The Galra closed her eyes. Grief and shame was rushing over her face, but she kept holding Veronica’s shoulder.

“These camps, Acxa has mentioned. I didn’t knew, that this was her entrance to the army. Even the normal drill would have been an harassment for her. But this is even worse. In Galran culture, these camps are for rehabilitation of criminals. A life of a Szechach is already hard, but without a family, who stand for such a person, these people are seen as criminals, only because they exist. Have been caught stealing had only doubled her problems. Normally such a person would have been killed, but they have chosen a more cruel punishment.”

Veronica was shaking in shock, but also Freyda was trembling.

“People, who were thrown in these camps were formed to trainings groups, classes, you may call it. And then they got trained to fight and to kill, without hesitation, without mercy. They learn to bare pain, grief, fear and suffer without showing them until they manage to cage out these feelings. To show one of them means more punishment and pain until you break or you learn to handle it. In the end, the army has one perfect soldier, who is capable to do even the hardest and cruelest jobs.”

She finally opened her eyes and she was crying, silently. Veronica was totally shocked, but Freyda still wasn’t finished.

“Literally. Only one of each class survives this, the others die trying. Killed by their own classmates.”

Veronica felt her stomach cramping and twisting. She suddenly recognized Tjaàl on her lap again, who seemed to look worried. He tried to touch her nose. She looked back to Freyda with shock. The Galra nodded with tears in her eyes and took back the baby, giving the little boy a long kiss on his forehead and cradling him tight in her arms.

“To know, that I once have called such things rightful nearly breaks me, every time I see my little boy.”

She started to rub his growing horns and the child closed his eyes in pleasure.

“To know, that I once have wish he wouldn’t exist breaks me even more.”

She kissed the baby again, while her tears freely ran down her cheeks. Veronica watched shocked at her. She was confused about this quote but Freyda continued.

“In most Galras eyes, he is the living prove of my ultimate shame. My scars might be accepted as the result of my capturing, but a child, a Szechach? Never! We would both have been killed for that.”

Veronica’s instincts took over. She pulled the Galra in a deep hug, crying along with her, silently. The shocking truth hit her harder than everything, she had felt before.

“Ronan isn’t…?”

Freyda interrupted her.

“On biological terms, no, but he is his father. The best a woman and a child could ask for. He became his father from the first moment, he found out, what they had done to me.”

She wiped away some of her tears and shared a smile with Tjaàl, who was smiling back at her.

“I was too weak, as he had rescued me, so I had to go through pregnancy. An abortion might have killed me, so it was no option for him. He offered me to take care for the child, when it would be born, so I might have returned home with honor. But things turned out different.”

She looked up and a warm glow was in the Galra’s eyes. Veronica released her carefully out of her hug.

“You felt in love with him.”

Feryda nodded.

“It is more honor in him, than in many Galras. He cared for me, he showed me his scars to prove me, that he understands my own. He had stolen a ship soon after my rescue and had brought me to this planet, so he could be there for me every day, every hour during my healing and my pregnancy. He guided me through the pains of labor and then Tjaàl was born. It was the final change.”

She gave the baby another kiss.

“Ronan was simply a happy father in this moment. The happy father, he should have been since years. As this happy father showed me my child, I started to become a happy mother as well. I couldn’t leave them.”

Veronica was pale and trembled slightly. She had no clue, how this woman was able to handle such experiences. How she had managed to accept this. The Galra noticed it and her face became proud and strong.

“He became my biggest scar. The one I’m most proud of to can show them every day. The prove, that I could deal with this pain and that I have managed to find a new hope and a new reason to fight and to live for within my darkest moment.”

She kissed the baby again, who has started to fall asleep again, because of her soothing rubbing. This way of interpretation was fitting somehow in Veronica’s eyes. It reminded her so much of Acxa and how her girlfriend often tried to approach problems. It was an typical Galran way of interpretation, in her opinion.

“I don’t know, if I could have made such a decision.”

A shy smile rushed over Freyda’s lips.

“I wouldn’t blame anyone, who would choose a different way. How could I. I would have done so, when my condition had allowed it. And without Ronan at my side...” A somber pain rushed over her face. “… Without his strength, love and care...” She shook her head and fought nearly successfully against her tears again. “I’m sure, where this would have been ended.”

Both woman observed the sleeping baby with a weak, but warm smile.

“It was a hard way to reach this point, but look at my child. Today I’m glad, that I dared to pick up this fight with myself, but I has cost me a lot to come to this point. I couldn’t have done it without his strength and support.”

A cheerful yelling made both women look up to the field. The kids, Acxa and the Paladins were in a big group hug and were jumping in a circle together in the middle of the field. It seemed, that none of them had recognized the hard and heavy conversation between the women. Freyda wiped away her last tears and the warm smile grew on her face again. She placed a hand on Veronica’s shoulder and gave her a determinant look.

“Help her to accept, what has happened. Help her to change her point of view on herself. She cannot carry this weight on her own, trust me.”

Veronica hugged Freyda. The Galran accepted this gesture and also pulled the human close.

“I will. Like you do with Ronan.”

Freyda’s eyes widened in surprise for a second but then a satisfied glow appeared in her yellow orbs, as both women released each other from the hug. Veronica looked thankful at her.

“I have seen in his face, how this is torturing him. He seems to be conflicted by his decision. The past and the presence is gnawing on him, like it is gnawing on Acxa. And we both want to help them to find a way out. I cannot loose her, like you cannot loose him.”

Veronica’s look became serious.

“I have promised Acxa to stay quiet about the duel. She had explained me the steps of this ritual demand and the possibilities of a peaceful solution. But I’ll do everything to prevent them from hurting each other. But if I starts to think, that this would end up in a fight, than I won’t stay quite anymore.”

She withstood the scanning look of the Galra. Suddenly a proud smile came to Freyda’s lips.

“I see, why the General has fallen in love with you.”

She stood up and placed her right fist on her chest and nodded at Veronica.

“I feel honored by your open words for me. But I have to warn you. This option is not less dangerous.”

A sad and worried glow was in her golden-yellow orbs.

“The Call is about honor and respect. As a Szechach, I think Acxa values honor more than many other Galras. You have to be very careful.”

Veronica returned the greeting with a worried but thankful nod. She felt suddenly hands wrapping around her middle.

“Veronica, everything okay?”

Acxa must have noticed the serious looks, both women had shared before. The game was finished and so she had walked over to them, to ask, what was wrong. Her eyes widened in shock and surprise, as Veronica turned around, quickly. The woman placed a slap on her cheek, not really hard, but strong enough, that the hit stung a second or two. Anger and worries were in her girlfriend’s eyes.

“Don’t ever try to hide away such stories from me. All or nothing, next time.”

Acxa was frozen on spot. She had no clue, what Veronica was talking about.

“She’s talking about your ‘Confirakk’”

Acxa’s inhaled sharp, while she shared shocked looks with Freyda, who got a serious look on her face and a worried trembling Veronica. But suddenly the face of the Galra’s girlfriend softened and grief and sadness remained. She pulled her in a close hug and kissed her gently.

“I know, you want to protect me, but how could I help you, when I don’t know, what I’ve to look out for, Acxa.”

She kissed her again. Acxa’s eyes became a wet glitter.

“I promised not to scare you so much again, remember?”

A laughter escaped Veronica at this embarrassed muttered quote. She pulled Acxa only closer to her and kissed her a third time.

“I know. But it scares me even more not to know, which demons you have to fight.”

Acxa finally smiled back at her and nuzzled her head for a while in Veronicas hair. She recognized an nod of approval from Freyda. The face of the half-Galra got serious.

“It wasn’t your choice do decide this for me, even if it seems to be the right decision.”

Acxa’s eyes got a dangerous glow and she placed a finger on Veronica’s lips, to show her to stay quite, while she kept focused on the scanning yellow eyes of Freyda. The Galra’s face hardened visibly.

“Wrong. Veronica wants to protect, what she loves, so do I. So we have shared some hard truths.”

She gently stroke with her thumb over the forehead of her sleeping child, without breaking eye contact.

“So I had all the right to aid her with this task. It was my rightful decision to do so.”

Her eyes switched to Veronica.

“Like it is her right to make hard decisions, if necessary to protect her love.”

Freyda placed her hand on Veronica’s shoulder under Acxa’s observant look and smiled at the woman. Then she turned to Acxa again and to Veronica’s and her surprise her face softened visibly.

“Look at her and realize, what you have found in your darkest moment.”

She kissed Tjaàl on his head and looked with a warm smile to the rest of the kids, who all were busy, searching for an ice, Hunk has brought along in an ice box to the field.

“Or beside it. It helps to cope with it, trust me.”

She squeezed Veronica’s shoulder supportively, before she took back her hand and shared a warm smile with both women.

“It could guide you through rough times. It does me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I have done a good job with this chapter. I know, it's an extremely delicate theme, which is able to burn your fingers, easily, but I wanted to try dealing (hopefully) tactful with it, without hiding the sad and shocking fact, that those crimes happen in war.
> 
> And now for some 'lighter' aspects. The word 'Confirakk' should have two possible directions of translation. It could be translated as 'confession' but also as 'avowal'. It symbolize the duality of the Confirakk as a rehabilitation. A confession of former crimes and an avowal for the 'rightful and honorable' Galran way of life. As Freyda had said, a Szechach can enter the Galran forces on the normal way, too and a family provides some protection for them, in my interpretation here. But as soon as a Szechach is stripped from its family, he or she is bare any sort of protection. My idea behind this background for Acxa and Galran society, I hope it fits in in the Voltron Universe.


	17. The Vocazz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains my created version of the ritual demand of revenge in Galran society, explaining some terms and rules about it. I hope my idea fits for the Galras in the Voltron Universe.
> 
> Unlike to Acxa or the Paladins I haven't found much material about Keith's mother and about the way both are interacting with each other. So I have decided to draw Krolia as a protective mother with a good and strong relationship to her son. She definitely shares Galran ideals, when it comes to honor, but she she understands different point of views on things. I hope I have drawn a fitting characterization of their relationship and of her character. All of this is, as I told, a blind flight, but in her case I barley have found a few hints to get an idea of her canon version, so I dared to shape my own version of her, more freely.

Keith was waiting in the hangar and watched the small ship landing. It was a Galran fighter. He was nervous, because his mother had instantly ended the transmission, as he had asked her about the message. Krolia had announced, she would be there as soon as possible. She has been worried, visibly worried, before the communication screen had turned black. Maybe she was worried about him. He hadn’t told her the full circumstances. Keith had hoped to get more informations, when he wouldn’t tell her, that Acxa was involved. She might have blocked any support in this case. Galras and honor could be tricky and his mother tended to take these terms serious, from a Galran point of view. The cockpit capsule opened and a tall Galran woman stepped out of it. She put off her helmet and the serious and worried face of Krolia scanned the nervous look of her son. She walked over to Keith and hugged him. Her voice was controlled as ever, but Keith recognized how tight his mother was hugging him, while she was speaking.

“We should talk in private. The Call has to be taken very serious.”

 

oOo

 

He was even more worried, as his mother pulled him in another close hug as soon as the door of his quarter was closed. Her face was full of worries.

“What have you answered, Keith?”

He was caught off guard, although he had expected, that Krolia would thought, that the Call had been addressed to him.

“Mom, I haven’t answered, I...”

“No…!”

All color seemed to fade from her face, her eyes wide opened in shock and fear. She stumbled backwards, but instantly took a hand on her sword, scanning the surrounding.

“Then they could kill you anytime, anywhere. Ignoring the Call gives them the right to do so.”

Her voice was about to panic. Keith tried to get a grip on her shoulders in order to cool her down.

“Mom, Mom! It’s okay, I’m fine, Everything is fine wit me, you...”

“No!”

Krolia’s voice was nearly shrieking in fear and panic. Her look rested tortured on her shocked son.

“You don’t understand! By staying quiet, you have ignored the Call. This is the worst option.”

She looked helpless around, like she was expecting an attack at any moment. Keith looked shocked and speechless at her.

“Maybe they accept a message from me to redo the Call. You’re not familiar with it. With a bit of luck they might understand it and give you a second chance to react proper. Who has called it, Keith?”

He looked still shocked and confused in the tortured begging eyes of his mother. She grabbed him at his shoulders and shook him.

“Keith! The Call! Who has called it?”

Keith was still staring in shock in the scared face of his mother. His voice was trembling.

“The Call wasn’t for me. Acxa was called and...”

A loud slap echoed through his quarter. His left cheek instantly burned like hell and he knew immediately, that the marks, his mother’s hand definitely would have left on it, might be staying there fore some days. The hard strike had nearly turned him around. Tears tried to float his eyes in pain and he pressed his own hand against his cheek, while he turned back to Krolia. The Galra was frozen in her last motion, shaking in anger. Her lips were quivering and tears glittered in her eyes.

“How could you, Keith.”

“Mom...”

Shame and sadness was in his voice. Krolia’s tearful quote was twisting and wrenching his guts. Suddenly the Galra rushed forward and pulled him in another embrace.

“How could you scare me to death, Keith.”

She sobbed. Keith carefully placed a hand on her back. Both stood there for a while, until his mother finally released him from her protecting arms. He recognized, that her knees were about to get soft and so he placed her at the couch and took a seat beside her. He gave her a soothing kiss on her forehead.

“Sorry Mom, I had no idea, that you would react this way. I never wanted to scare you so much.”

An angry glow approached in her eyes, but then she took his hand and squeezed it with a nod. Her face softened a lot, but still a little shock and anger remained.

“Like I said, the Call was for Acxa and we need more informations about it. She hasn’t give us much hints about it, neither Freyda or Ronan.”

He began to explain his mother the whole situation. The Galra listened to it with closed eyes, her arms crossed before her chest. Keith recognized, that her face was jerking from time to time. She stayed quite after he was finished with his explanation. Keith started to get nervous again, but he tried to keep patient. He knew, that this would be the wiser way, especially after her former outburst. Minutes passed and Krolia was still sitting with crossed arms and closed eyes beside him, but finally she took a deep breath and opened it again.

“And how should I help? You have all the informations, you need to know. You should be glad, that Acxa has even shared these with you.”

Her look reminded Keith of Freyda’s burning eyes at the first meeting after their mission.

“The Call. Tell me about. The details. What does it exactly mean? What may be the consequences?”

The look of his mother hardened.

“No.”

Krolia’s reaction elicited Keith a surprised gasp. He looked at her with frustration and a lack of understanding.

“I won’t help you to interfere this. It’s their busyness, not your’s and by interfering you might do things even worse.”

She was about to stand up and leave, when Keith’s dangerous voice made her freeze on spot.

“And what if someone might address the Call to me one day, Mom?”

She turned around and watched at Keith with anger, but also with pain and fear in her look. Her face returned quickly to the stoic hard mask, he knew from her, but he could still see worries for him behind it.

“Then you’ll react, like Acxa did and right after that you’ll call me, instantly.”

He withstood her look, this time and also tried to keep a serious face, but like his mother, he couldn’t hide his sadness and worries completely.

“But you cannot be there for me, forever.”

Krolia closed her eyes and turned her head aside with a bitter look. Keith stood up and placed his hands on her shoulders.

“Mom, I need to know, how to handle the Call.”

She avoided his look.

“But you’ll use this knowledge to interfere. I know you, Keith. You have no right to do so.”

The Paladin brought himself in his mothers sight, still holding her on her shoulders. His look was determined.

“It doesn’t change the facts. The Call, what is is about?”

Both kept looking at each other. Finally, Krolia released a sigh and walked back to the couch and took seat again with Keith.

“The Call, the ‘Vocazz’. It’s a ritual call for rightful revenge. A demand of vendetta, in fact.”

Keith’s eyes widened in shock and he inhaled sharp. He was about to jump up, but the warning and serious look from his mother kept him in place. He had suggested this fact, like the others, but he still had hoped, that he would be wrong. Krolia continued her explanation.

“It’s a demand for a duel. This demand has to be delivered under the eyes of at least two witnesses in personal or by an chosen messenger. Once received, you have three options: Accept, Deny or Ignore. You have to choose instantly.”

Keith nodded serious. He remembered the afternoon in the treatment room. Now he understood Freyda’s pensive look even more. If Acxa had stayed quite, she had ignored the Call. Krolia kept focused on her explanation.

“Ignoring would be the worst option. In this case the one, who has demanded the duel would be allowed to kill the other Galra whenever and wherever he or she wants. Denying is better, but only a bit. A ‘Jud’kch’, you may call it a judge, would be called in that case and had to decide, if the reasons for the Call were rightful or not, which are in most case. If so, the person, who had denied the Call would be executed instantly, otherwise the one, who had misused the Call. The executed one dies in shame, but his family is washed clean from the guilt. The best and most honored option is to accept the Call. In that case, the one, who had accepted has to meet with the one, who has called to talk about the reasons, why revenge is demanded and to explain the own point of view. Then a day for the duel would be set up and the ‘Parfazzi’ begins. It’s the time to prepare for the duel and to think over each others reasons. If one side might have doubts about it, then both could decide to settle things another way at the day of the duel, otherwise they have to fight, until blood cleans the guilt.”

Keith had pensively listened, but at this point his eyes started to glow. It was a chance, he hoped.

“Why to think over the reasons?”

Krolia faced him with her stoic look.

“Why spilling blood, carelessly? It may sound like a cruel tradition for you, but we do honor life. The Call is mostly given to another Galra, when blood has been spilled before. It doesn’t matter, which reasons has caused it. Was it a crime, an accident or maybe a rightful given death? It doesn’t matter for the Call, only the pain and loss of the other Galra. By accepting the Call, both sides have the option to think over, if more blood has to be spilled or if things could be set to an end, peacefully.”

Keith closed his eyes. It was a strange idea for him, but a one, which wasn’t bare of a twisted logic in his opinion. Acxa’s reaction was holding up a chance to search for a peaceful solution. And if this shouldn’t work, they could switch to more drastic options, to prevent them from killing each other. But his mother seemed to have read his mind, cause she got a grip on his shoulder and faced him with a most serious look.

“You may try to help them to find a peaceful solution, but don’t even dare to think about stopping the duel, if it should happened, Keith! You have no idea, what damage you would cause!”

He faced her even more determinant.

“Than explain it to me. Why shouldn’t I try to prevent them from killing each other? Cause I cannot understand it!”

Keith was angry. He couldn’t see the reasons for it and the pitied look of his mother didn’t help him to come down.

“You ignore two vital aspects, Keith. First, the Vocazz is about honor. Accepting the Call has restored her honor! And as a half-blood even more. But the guilt remains. That’s the second aspect. She had taken the offered chance to restore her honor, by taking responsibility for her past, by facing her guilt. The guilt has to be cleaned. The duel is the last option, but is has to be done. No matter, who wins, the blood will be spilled with honor and it will wash away the guilt, that’s the idea behind it.”

Keith jumped up with a mad face. He screamed furious at his mother.

“But this is ridiculous! She has changed sides! She has already started to face her past in another way! It wasn’t her fault, mom! At least not alone!”

Krolia pulled him back on the couch with a sad look.

“Haven’t you listened, Keith. All this doesn’t matters. He had the right to start the Call, she had accepted, that’s it. Stopping a duel would mean stopping to free herself from the guilt, The guilt would be transformed into an even greater shame! It would crush the honor, she had gained, by accepting the Call. Think about it, like you want to, but Acxa would never ever accept a step like that. Not as the Galra, she used to be. The guilt has to be purged, peaceful or with blood.”

Keith stared shocked and helpless at her but Krolia simply stood up. She gave her son a sad smile.

“It has to go its natural way. Otherwise it’ll destroy her. And the one, who stopped the duel would be responsible for it.”

Keith stared defeated and helpless at the wall. Kroila sighed sad and walked over to him. She hugged him and gave him a kiss on his forehead.

“Try to help her to find a peaceful solution. I really hope, you’ll be successful. But in the end, don’t stop the duel. You wouldn’t find a happy end for her, if you try.” She lifted his head, by putting her had on his chin. “And also not for you, believe me.”

She rested her forehead on his for a moment and sighed with sad resignation.

“I’ll stay here on the Atlas for some days. Maybe I can help on the planet or with the facility ship.”

She gave him a little smile.

“It’s all we can do for her, Keith. Trust me.”

She got up and turned around, leaving a shocked and worried Keith behind in his quarter.


	18. Step Stones

The warm smile was back on Veronica’s lips and also Freyda looked really happy. Kathy had come to them, right after their conversation and had pulled Acxa with her to get her to choose a Popsicle for herself. Now they came back hand in hand, each one with their favored picks. Kathy with a Mini Milk Vanilla and Acxa with a Bum Bum Popsicle. Kathy was already eating and observing the Galra, who was pensively checking the flaming red ice disk. Acxa gave the ice a first careful try, but her eyes widened in pleasant surprise and so she also started to eat it with a delightful smile. Veronica laughed out loud.

“Eww! Acxa, really?”

The Galra watched her with a confused look.

“What?, It’s really tasty. And I like the color of it. But most important, it’s tasty!”

Veronica chuckled and gave Acxa a little shove. Both started to laugh with each other and Kathy smiled warm. Acxa tried to give her girlfriend a kiss, but she pushed her face away with a giggle.

“Don’t think you can kiss me with that taste on your lips.”

Acxa smiled mischievous and only doubled her efforts to kiss Veronica, which started to giggle and laugh, while she kept on twisting her head away. Kathy felt in laughing and took a grip at Veronica’s legs in order to help Acxa getting her kiss. It was the distraction, the woman needed to place her lips on Veronica’s. Her girlfriend kept up her joyful protest, but she returned the kiss of the Galra.

“See what I mean?”

Acxa looked to Freyda. The tall Galra was smiling. Acxa shared looks with Veronica and looked down. Kathy was hugging the legs of both woman and snuggling her head against Acxa. She gave her girlfriend a gentle kiss and both smiled at each other. Then Acxa turned back to Freyda.

“I have an idea, now.”

“Does the important part of this idea also want to have a Popsicle?”

Jessy had also walked over to them and smiled at the little group.

“I might have brought you one, Veronica, but I haven’t trusted Lance’s choice for you. He has had the same ‘innocent’ look on his face, Chrissy has sometimes, when she up for something.”

Freyda rolled her eyes with a knowing smile at Jessy’s quote. The teenager pointed at Acxa’s ice.

“And it seems, that my instincts haven’t fooled me.”

Veronica turned back and narrowed her eyes, while facing her brother. He recognized her look and grinned wide and innocent, while shrugging his shoulders. Then he turned back to the kids and avoided the look of his sister. Veronica turned back to Jessy and smiled thankfully.

“Thanks, Jessy. Does Hunk has brought some Calippo?”

The girl nodded, which made Veronica’s eyes lightened up.

“If one orange-taste might be left, I would take one.”

Jessy smiled and gave her a nod. She turned to Freyda with a questioning look, but the women only shook her head with a thankful smile. Jessy was about to go, when a teary sob mad her freeze on spot. All of them looked down to Kathy in shock. The poor girl was trembling and did her best to fight her tears, but she failed. She started to cry and pressed herself against Acxa and Veronica. Both women were instantly on their knees and Kathy let herself fall against them, crying heavily. Veronica and Acxa shared helpless looks with each other. Also Freyda was shocked. The woman also had no clue, what could have caused Kathy’s outburst. But Jessy got pale, suddenly. She stumbled forward and placed a hand on the back of the crying girl.

“Oh Kathy. They didn’t want to.”

“Kn… Kn… Know that...”

Her voice was muffled, cause the poor girl had buried her head on Acxa’s shoulder, still pulling Acxa and Veronica close to her. Both gave Jessy a confused and sad look. The teenager was also about to break out in tears.

“The ice. Her parents have favored the same. Tom, her father loved this orange stuff, no matter which kind of and Hanna, her mother always favored bubble gum ice.”

Jessy’s face softened for a moment, before her grief painfully kicked in for a second until she got back some control over her feelings.

“Mom and Dad often have teased Tom for his ridiculous taste in their opinion, together with Hanna. You two, the ice, the teasing...”

The girl didn’t had to speak on. Acxa and Veronica instinctively did the same. Both placed a soothing kiss on Kathy’s head. It made all taking a surprised gasp. But the crying had stopped instantly. No one dared to make a move and Acxa and Veronica were sharing nervous looks with Freyda and Jessy. The weight of their actions kicked in in this moment and everyone seemed to be unsure, how to go on. Kathy sniffed twice and looked up slowly to them, still with teary eyes. Then she turned her head to face Jessy’s and Freyda’s worried and surprised faces. The Galra and the teenager shared a quick look. Both had recognized the silent question in the eyes of the little girl. A teary smile came to the lips of the teenager. She also got on her knees and placed a soft kiss on Kathy’s forehead.

“It’s okay.”

She looked back to Freyda for a moment, before she turned back to Kathy with her gentle warm smile.

“For all of us.”

Kathy nodded teary, but Acxa and Veronica recognized, that she relaxed a bit. And then their eyes widened in total surprise. Kathy had turned back and had quickly placed little kisses on the cheeks of the women, one for Acxa and one for Veronica. Then she nuzzled her head on Acxa’s shoulder. For a while this comforting hug was all Acxa recognized. The warmth and the love which was to be found in this embrace. She didn’t want to stop this moment. She never ever had expected it, but now, that she had found it, she simply wanted to let it hold on. Only a little longer. She opened her eyes first, when she felt the cold and sticky molten ice running down her fingers. She smiled at Veronica and wiped away some of her own tears and then carefully some of Veronica’s and Kathy’s.

“Come on. Let’s have a seat and eat the ice together.”

They smiled at each other and stood up. Veronica took the lead with Kathy and headed to a bank, but Acxa stopped and turned back to Jessy and Freyda. She blushed a bit but kept focused on both.

“Thank you.”

Freyda greeted her back with respect, by placing her right hand on her chest and Acxa returned the gesture, thankfully, but Jessy reacted different. She got closer and hugged her. The Galra let her do so. She felt the girl struggling with herself, but she also felt, that she was thankful, too.

“Make Ronan see, what you have showed Kathy, what she has made you to show Freyda and me. That’s the key.”

She released the Galra out of her hug and gave her a smile. Acxa nodded at her and followed Veronica and Kathy. Jessy turned around, as she felt Freyda’s hand on her shoulder. The teenager leaned her head against the strong shoulder of the Galra and carefully stroke over Tjaàl’s head. Both observed the scenery. Sam, Patrick, Christina and Clarissa were joking and laughing with Lance, Pidge and Hunk. Also Acxa, Veronica and Kathy were smiling and laughing together. The child was offering Veronica her ice in order to let her taste a bit of it, encouraged by a warm smiling Acxa beside her. Both women were holding hands.

“They look like Ronan and you.”

Jessy felt Freda’s hand stroking gently her hair. Her smile was so warm and comforting, while she watched the three on the bank.

“Kathy has mentioned the same.”

Jessy got a grip on the Galra’s hand and squeezed it supportively.

“She was right.” Her smile felt a bit “The General. Acxa. She deserves a chance. They deserve a chance. They deserve the chance to have the same, you and Ronan have.”

Freyda turned to her to face the teenager with her yellow orbs. She observed her for a while and her eyes widened in surprise. But then she pulled Jessy in a close embrace. 

“I know. And I’m so proud of you, that you also have seen it.” 

Jessy did best to hold back her tears. Freyda had seen it too. It would help all of them to heal. But it also was scaring her. Just as Freyda. The Galra was worried for her. So worried. But she had seen Ronan sacrificing so much for them. If it would help to heal all of them, she would find a way to accept. And Acxa and Veronica have proven her, that they are worthy to have this chance. And it helped her, to know Freyda at her side to aid her stand. Like she tried to aid her with Ronan. The Galra faced her with a thankful but also worried look.

“My strong girl. Acxa will need this support. More than you know.”

Her face darkened as she looked back to Veronica, Acxa and Kathy. The tall woman took a deep breath and pulled Jessy aside. The questioning look of the teenager mad her finally nod in determination.

“I fear Ronan might be her minor problem...”

Also Jessy’s face darkened. She had a suspicion and her worries grew, as Freyda started to tell her, what she had found out about Acxa from Veronica.


	19. Fighting the Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The part in italics is a dream sequence.

_She was running. Running for her life. She remembered the first bombs drop. They had freed a monster. A mad beast, made of pure rage and heat. It became clearer with every further bomb, which felt on the colony, with every bomber, which was swallowed in blazing purple fireballs, when the beast freed itself out of the cage. This monster was created to kill, to consume, to destroy. It didn’t care, what or who was standing before it. Haggar had created it and they had awoken it. And now it was free and in a bloody rush. An insane rampage, burning, biting, choking, killing, howling, running through its enemies lines._

_They were all its enemy._

_Galra?_

_Human?_

_It didn’t care. She saw hateful faces approaching in the flames. Burning eyes, searching for new victims. And suddenly one eye faced her. The howls grew louder and the panic nearly made her fall. She heard the panicked voices in her com. She hear Ezor shocked voice ordering her troops to retreat. She heard Zethrid giving the bombers the orders to abroad the attack. And mixed in was Lotor’s voice, who helpless tried to get back any kind of order and discipline to coordinate the retreat. And all over this chaos, there was this merciless mocking howl of the monster. Like it was hearing the orders, too, laughing about their hopeless tries to escape._

_She looked at her side and saw the flames lashing at her. She was hit by another body and felt, rolling on the ground. Narti covered her as the flames missed her and her friend. She was shaking in panic and fear. And so Narti. She grabbed her and rolled around with her, to make the score even, to save her friend from another strike, like the woman had saved her before. Both were on their feet again, running for their lives. She saw the bombers dropping their load on their own troops. She cursed them, only to bite her lip the next second. The pilots tried to get rid of the monster, they were forced to transport, before it would kill them. The smell of burned flesh made her choke and her lungs burn. The flaming monster seemed to be everywhere. She wasn’t sure if the flames where part of it or only a cloak and a weapon at the same time. But it was there. There was a hate in the fire, which made the flames burn hotter. An insane pain, which was screaming for revenge. Screaming for a payback. For satisfaction for gained suffer and death. It wouldn’t stop, until this pain would be vanished. Until all guilt would be purged. She should have protested against this madness. But she had stayed quite and had simply obeyed. Like she always had. Now she was running for her life. And she felt the heat getting closer. Her strength was fading. It was hurting, hurting so much, until she couldn’t bare it anymore. A tortured scream escaped her lungs, but it was blown away buy the cruel laughs of the monster, she had helped to unleash._

  
  
  
She was sitting straight in bed, her eyes wide open in pure panic and terror. Her breath was out of control, near to hyperventilation. She was shaking badly and tears were running down her cheeks. She winced in shock as two hands started to rub carefully her shoulders. She turned back and faced Veronica’s tortured look. Acxa slowly started to recognize the bedroom around her. She faced Veronica with her scared look and started to cry. She buried her head at Veronica’s chest and cried. She felt Veronica carefully rubbing her horns, but it didn’t work this time, the horror was still burning, as much as the guilt.

Suddenly a known melody filled the bedroom. A clear children’s voice was humming and Acxa felt small arms wrapped around her middle. She looked down in Kathy’s teary eyes and remembered. Jessy was with her at their quarter this evening again. Kathy had asked, if she could have a sleepover with them, this night. She had recognized Jessy’s face. The teenager seemed to be happy, but at the same time also so sad. Kathy had also recognized it and would have nearly changed her mind, but Jessy had kept on encouraging the little girl to stick to her decision. So they had played with the child and as they had brought her to a fresh prepared bed in their sleeping room, Veronica had read a good-night story for her while Acxa had carefully rubbed her forehead until the girl had fallen asleep. She remembered, that she and Veronica have watched her sleeping in her bed form the doorway for a while. Veronica had rested her head on her shoulder. She has had such a warm smile on her lips at this moment and a shining spark in her eyes. It was a perfect moment. One she had never dreamed of to share it with anyone.

But right now, panic was all she felt. But it was fading. Fading with the lullaby, the child was humming. Fading with the soothing touch of Veronica and Kathy. Acxa spread out her arms and pulled her girlfriend and the child closer to her. She didn’t want to let them go in this moment. She needed them to ease her pain. To ease her guilt. Within time her breath got controlled and easier, but Kathy’s humming didn’t stopped until Acxa had stopped crying.

“’ou nightmares.”

She faced the worried look of the child and nodded. The green eyes were so sad.

“Ronan has also.”

Acxa bit her bottom lip. Of cause he had. She was the reason. Kathy didn’t missed her bitter face.

“It’s not ‘our fault.”

Acxa wanted to turn away. She felt guilty and Kathy had noticed it. The girl pointed again at the chest of the Galra. Her voice got teary.

“’ou not like bad man.”

Veronica had pressed her hands before her mouth to muffle a sob. Acxa stared shocked at Kathy but the child locked her eyes with hers.

“’ou care. Like Jessy, Ronan and Fre’da.”

She nuzzled her head against the Galra, who placed her hand on the head of the little child.

“Like Veronica. She care, too.”

Acxa shared shocked and teary looks with the kid, who had buried his head at her chest and Veronica, who was crying silent tears, but was also stroking the back of the child.

“But whose fault is it?”

It was a helpless whisper from Acxa to herself. Maybe addressed to Veronica as well, but definitely not for the little girl. But Kathy answered immediately with a deep grief in her voice, as she turned to the broken look of the Galra.

“War.”

The green eyes seemed to glow in sadness in the dark. Acxa and Veronica were baffled.

“Ronan say, War makes people turn bad and bad people makes more War.”

The child started to cry as she snuggled again against Acxa. The Glara was crying again, but she carefully put a hand on the chin of the kid and lifted her head. Kathy sniffed heavily, but faced the teary smile she got from the woman. Acxa carefully rubbed with one thumb over Kathy’s scar. The kid nodded.

“I seen bad eyes of bad man. ‘ou haven’t eyes like he.”

“No you haven’t!”

Acxa looked up and Kathy turned around to face a teary, but smiling Veronica. The woman got closer again and all three hugged each other at tight as they could. It took away some of the weight off Acxa.

“Can I stay here in bed?”

Kathy was sharing questioning looks with both women. Acxa smiled warm at Veronica and her girlfriend returned the smile. The human kissed Kathy on her head and nodded.

“Of cause you can, Kathy. Whenever you want.”

A beaming smile grew on her little mouth. She pulled Veronica down and gave her a kiss on her cheek and right after that she did the same with Acxa. All three laid back in the big bed, with Kathy snuggling between the both woman, getting as close as she could with her back to Veronica and laying her arm around Acxa, pulling the Galra close to herself and Veronica. The warm smiles of Kathy and Veronica were the last things, the Galra saw, before she felt asleep again. With a thankful smile on her lips.


	20. Opening

It was one of the best wake-ups, Acxa ever had. She had opened her eyes over half an hour ago, but she simply haven’t set a foot out of the bed. 

She was observing. 

Observing Veronica and Kathy. 

Acxa instantly had decided, that she could do this forever. Her girlfriend was laying on her back and the little child had snuggled herself close to her during their sleep. Kathy’s head was resting on Veronica's shoulder, one arm wrapped around her chest. Also one leg of the child was placed on Veronica, who also was holding the child tight in sleep. Her cheek was leaning against Kathy’s forehead. Sometimes the little girl jerked in sleep and every time, she did so, Veronica started to fondle the head of the child in sleep. It was the most beautiful and adoring thing Acxa had ever seen. She had carefully snuggled herself closer and had started to stroke Veronica's head, while she had placed her other hand on the back of the child. It was a beauty and a peace in this moment, which Acxa never wanted to let end. It was a moment, which didn’t allow all her worries to rise up. It left no space for it, it simply demanded all of her attention and as a reward it gave her this pleasant warm feeling of love and care back. This feeling, she had been starving for so long, until she had found Veronica. And now this little child only increased this feeling to a new unknown high. 

She placed a kiss on Veronica’s arm, which was wrapped around the child. The touch of her lips woke her up. She blinked a few times but then her eyes met Acxa’s. And her beautiful smile grew. She looked down at the sleeping child in her arms and the same warm emotions, Acxa was feeling, appeared on her face. She carefully placed a soft kiss on Kathy’s forehead, which made the girl smile in sleep. The wrapping grip of the child tightened around Veronica and the woman’s eyes filled with some tears of joy. She was smiling so warm and happy at Acxa. The Galra took her hand and placed a long and soft kiss on the palm, feeling Veronica’s thumb stroking her cheek. Whatever this day would hold up for her, this moment would give her strength. A strength to make the next step. 

 

oOo

 

Acxa and Kathy were on the way back to Ronan’s and Freyda’s quarter. The Galra had placed the child on her shoulders and Kathy shared a triumphant smile with every crew member, who passed by, combined with a mischievous but satisfied smile of the Galra. Acxa noticed the surprised faces. It was the kind of strange looks, which normally would have bothered her, but not today. This morning had started different. Her wake up, the breakfast with Kathy and Veronica, the hugs and kisses, both have shared with her girlfriend before her daily duty had started, it simply had been perfect for Acxa. She had recognized, that she was acting different, but for the first time she really didn’t care. Her acting made Kathy happy. It has made Veronica happy. And this fact was worthy to earn strange faces. She needed the strength, cause she wanted to talk. That was the reason, why she had decided to bring Kathy back. She wanted to talk with Ronan. And she would need this strength, Kathy and Veronica have given to her. 

At the quarter, she lifted Kathy down and let her push the buzzer. Acxa wasn’t surprised, that it was Ronan, who opened the door. Kathy instantly hugged the legs of the man with a beaming smile. He bowed down to her and got a kiss from the child. A warm smile grew on his face, as he lifted the girl up. To Acxa’s surprise this smile didn’t faded completely, as he greeted her by hitting his chest with his right fist. Acxa returned the greeting and entered the quarter, as the man offered her to come in with a nod.

“How was you sleepover, Kathy?”

The warm voice of the man made even Acxa smile a bit. Kathy beamed at him.

“We play together and Veronica read a story for me. And I slept in Acxa’s and Veronica’s bed. And we had breakfast and Acxa and I helped Veronica go to work.”

The eyes of the child were glowing in excitement and joy as she continued with a more detailed version of the last evening and of her morning. Acxa had noticed the pensive look of the man as Kathy mentioned, that she has slept in her bed with Veronica, but Ronan had took place on the couch with the child and listened patiently to Kathy. As she was finished, he gave the child a big hug.

“It seems you have had a good time.”

The child nodded with a beaming smile. Ronan smiled warm at her and then he faced Acxa, and his face changed. But to her surprise it was more a sad than an angry or serious look for her.

“Let me guess, you had to help Acxa during the night. That’s why you have slept in her bed?”

The face of the child got sad, but serious at the same time.

“Yes. She got nightmares. Like ‘ou.”

Acxa blushed. She felt suddenly uncomfortable under the pensive look of Ronan. But he nodded and kissed Kathy on her forehead.

“Anything else would have surprised me.”

Acxa was stunned. Compassion. It was the first time, she had seen this emotion on his face. It was only a brief moment, but it was there. And it was addressed to her. The child hugged the man again.

“I like her and I like Veronica. They are like ‘ou and Fre’da.”

She turned back to Acxa and the warm smile of the child brought tears to the Galra’s eyes.

“She knows the melody and she hasn’t bad eyes.”

She turned back to Ronan and Acxa recognized, that her look made the man melting in front of her.

“Like ‘ou.”

The child touched carefully the hidden scar.

“She also outchies, but you couldn’t see, like ‘our’s”

It was finally enough to force Acxa to a teary gasp. All the time she had stood beside the couch and had watched the whole scenery, but now she dared this step. She took place beside Kathy, so that she child was sitting between her and Ronan and placed a thankful kiss on the head of the child. Ronan’s eye widened, but he let her do so, because Kathy instantly nuzzled her head back against Acxa.

“Yes Kathy, I have outchies. Many outchies.” She breathed heavy but she dared to continue. She started to reline Kathy’s scar in her face. “And some of them are similar to your’s.”

Kathy started in shock at her for a moment. Ronan had closed his eye with a bitter look. Acxa nodded teary at Kathy.

“I understand your loss.” She shared a short look with Ronan, who was touching his burned face, deep in his own thoughts. “Like Ronan does. And like you understand his and my grief. I also have seen bad eyes in my life.” 

The girl finally started to cry but she wrapped her arms around Acxa who also hugged the child tight. They were both weeping. It took a while, but suddenly Acxa felt a hand on her shoulder. She opened her eyes and saw Ronan. The man had placed his hands on Acxa’s and Kathy’s shoulders. And he started to hum. It was the known lullaby. He continued the soothing melody until Kathy finally stopped crying like Acxa. The child gave the Galra a kiss on her cheek and Acxa returned the gesture. Ronan lifted the child up and both also shared kisses on the cheeks.

“Freyda and the kids are in the canteen. I’ll bring you to them, Kathy. Jessy definitely wanted to hear everything, what happened at you sleepover.”

The child nodded at him and Rona turned to Acxa. His face got serious.

“Then I’ll return and we can talk about some urgent matters.”

But suddenly his face softened at Acxa’s serious look. It was strange for her to see this new side for her on him.

“Veronica wanted me to ask, what war has taken from you, but you already have shared some facts with me and with Kathy. This has been noticed.”

Acxa nodded at him and his face darkened a bit again as he started to walk to the door.

“Wait here for me, please.” 

Kathy waved a goodbye for Acxa and started to stroke Ronan’s head. He finally stopped a last time in the doorway of the quarter.

“This hasn’t made it easier for me. But things like that are never easy.” He sighed heavy. “We should both be happy, that we have found people, who cares for us, otherwise war would have taken us long ago.”

Acxa felt her stomach cramping a bit. She faced his look and beside the fact, that the holo-field was working, she could see his scar. The pain under the surface. It was there. The fire was still burning, less wild than before, but still not contained. Willing to consume more of him. And more of her. He was fighting against it. The Call was a proof for it. His strength honored her even more. But it also made her realize, how much weight was laying on his shoulders. She bit her bottom lip.

“War still tries to take us, I think.”

A sparkle came to his eye. It surprised her again. She felt Kathy’s pensive look on her. She had stopped stroking Ronan’s head. The man nodded with a grim face.

“Yes. Every day. It tries to take everything. But I have sworn to end it. I have promised her to make it stop. Time will show, if I could keep my word.”

The child continued her stroking and Ronan kissed her on her cheek again. Acxa’s mood dropped at his words and Ronan noticed that. He hit his chest again with his fist as a goodbye.

“Thanks for the sleepover for Kathy.”

Acxa returned the greeting. For a moment the warm smile came back to the lips of the Galra and Kathy returned it thankfully.

“No problem. She might come over again, whenever she wants to.”

Kathy’s smile grew to a beaming one. Ronan closed his eye for a moment and nodded to himself. Acxa wasn’t sure, but it seemed her answer had woken up a new kind of interest in Ronan. He shared quick looks between Acxa and Kathy. Finally his eye rested on the Galra again and she could see the vivid sparkle again, she had recognized before.

“Good to know,...” He hesitated a moment. “… Acxa.”

Some time had passed, since he had left the room, before Acxa realized, that her mouth had stayed open. She took place on the couch and waited. Somehow this opening had went well, but Acxa caught herself wondering, if she should have been happy about this fact. He blamed her for Tantalus, no doubt. She was sharing this opinion. His hate had put many pressure on her, it had hit her hard. But somehow his sudden compassion hit her even harder. Freyda had given her an idea of his loss, how could he stand against this pain? His hate had been hard to handle, but his compassion was much worse. Acxa’s breathing became harder. Her nightmare came back to her mind. It seemed to her that his gentle reaction was only increasing the weight on her own shoulders. And this fact scared her. Because she didn’t know how to handle it.


	21. Negotiation

“Honey Loops!”

“Fruit Loops!”

“No, Honey Loops!”

Allura couldn’t believe it. She was sitting between Lance and Christina. Both were leaning over the Altean’s tablet and were facing each other with most serious faces. And both didn’t care, that this behavior kept the woman away from her own breakfast. Lance had mentioned, that Fruit Loops were the best start for a day, but Christina instantly disagreed and had declared, that Honey Loops were the best. The discussion had quickly become hotter and now both sides were almost pressing their noses against each other. 

Allura took a helpless look around the great table. Freyda was busy feeding Tjaàl together with Jessy. The Galra was holding the baby on her lap and Jessy was feeding him with porridge. Both seemed to take an extra care to look very busy, but Allura noticed the amused giggles and she was absolutely sure, that Tjaàl’s wiggling and healthy appetite wasn’t the only reason for it.

Sam and Clarissa didn’t took notice of the situation. They were sitting together with Hunk and Pidge. The Paladin must have stood up very early in the morning, because it was a self made breakfast for the two kids. Lance had told her yesterday, that Hunk had invited both kids and Pidge had eavesdropped on it and simply had invited herself, too. Also the porridge for Tjaàl was from Hunk. The big man seemed to have grown bigger, when Freyda had offered him the honor to feed the first spoon for Tjaàl. The fact, that the baby had instantly demanded to get more of it, even before he had finished the first mouthful, had cast a bright smile on Hunk’s face. The four were now busy with talking and eating and didn’t care about Allura’s situation.

Keith and Shiro also weren’t a help. They had taken seat with Krolia on another table. Allura had noticed, that a somber mood was resting on Keith and his mother. She hadn’t talked with them, since Krolia had arrived, but she was sure, that Acxa’s situation was the reason. And due to Shiro’s look, she assumed, that mother and son didn’t have shared any information with him.

“Fruit Loops! You don’t have any clue, if you really think Honey Loops could be better!”

Allura nearly felt of the bank, as Lance slid closer to Christina. The shove, she had received from him by doing so, pushed her against the girl and made both stumble on the bank. But it seems, that Christina didn’t care, she only made an angry face, arguing even louder, that the only person, who haven’t had a clue would be Lance. The Altean’s patience started to run low. She recognized Patrick pensively facing his breakfast with an embarrassed look on his face. But the boy watched at his sister from the corner of his eyes from time to time. His lips formed a begging ‘Sorry’, as he recognized the slightly annoyed face from the Altean. She gave him a warm smile, only to change to an angry look, as the girl shoved her back, by mimicking Lance’s action. That did it. Allura’s eyelid started to jerk in anger. She took a deep breath and placed her hands on the shoulders of Lance and Christina and with a forceful push, she separated them the get her free space back. She stood up, while she did so, her arms remained spread, when she was on her feet.

“Enough!”

Both looked with widened eyes of surprise at the really annoyed face of the Altean, who shared looks with the Paladin and the girl. The serious warning in her voice and in her eyes couldn’t be missed.

“It is a breakfast and not an intergalactic treaty! Lance prefers Fruit Loops, Christina Honey Loops! Get along with it! And if not mix them, if necessary, but stop squeezing me to death and let me finish my breakfast in peace!” 

The whole canteen had felt silence at Allura’s outburst. And this fact starts to reach slowly her mind, as she finally recognized all eyes on her. Only the muttering sound of Tjaàl, who demanded more porridge, was to be heard. Allura blinked in surprise of her own outburst. She tugged on her suit to correct its fit and took place again with most dignity and continued her breakfast like nothing had happened. She ignored the suppressed chuckle from Freyda and Jessy, but she still felt the surprised looks from Christina and Lance. Suddenly both leaned over her tablet again, but only to give the other a spoonful of their favorite loops in their bowls. Allura observed them mixing the loops and both tried the combination. And suddenly their faces lightened up. They beamed at Allura and Lance hugged her from aside, placing a thankful kiss on her cheek.

“And that’s why she is the diplomat in the team. She always have the best ideas.”

Allura blushed, but she smiled warm at him and both hugged each other, while the Altean rested her head on Lance’s shoulder.

“Best ideas for what?”

The question made them turn around. Ronan has entered the canteen and was walking with Kathy on his arm over to Jessy and Freyda. He placed the child between Freyda and Jessy, giving the Galra and the baby a kiss and pulling the teenager in a little hug. Also Kathy shared kisses with the three, while Ronan walked around to give the other kids a warm hug and a gentle kiss on the head to greet them.

“For the best start for the day.”

Christina’s eyes had a warm shine, as she explained Ronan the discussion, she and Lance have had before and Allura’s solution. The Altean recognized the warm chuckle of the man and she nodded with a smile at him. To see him smiling was lifting her mood. It gave her hope for the troubled situation, he and Acxa seemed to have. He placed a hand on Christina’s shoulder and smiled.

“But none of them are a healthy start in the day.”

Christina chuckled and squeezed his hand.

“I know, but this wasn’t the point. It was about the best start and not the healthiest.”

An almost impish grin was on her face and to Allura’s surprise it was mirrored by the man.

“Well in that case, both of you are still wrong.” He looked over to Lance, who had raised his eyebrow in surprise. “Choco Shells are the best.”

The Altean took a sharp breath. But no new discussion started. Christina and Lance only looked at each other for some seconds. Then suddenly both stood up with their bowls in hands to get some Choco Shells, too, for the perfect mix, followed by a warm chuckle of the rest of the table.

Ronan shared a warm smile with Freyda. But Allura suddenly recognized a changing in the face of the Galra. Her smile had slightly faded a bit and her yellow orbs had narrowed a bit. Jessy and Kathy didn’t have recognized it. The teenager had handed the spoon to Kathy and the little girl was now busy feeding Tjaàl with a warm smile. The man nodded at the Galra and was about to leave the canteen again.

“You don’t stay with us for breakfast?”

Allura’s question made Jessy look up. Ronan turned to the Altean and his face was serious.

“I had breakfast earlier this day. And I have urgent matters waiting in the quarter.”

Allura’s face got worried. She had heard Jessy holding her breath. Ronan’s eye kept lock with the Altean but his voice became softer.

“Don’t worry. The General came to me to talk, like I had demanded. And that’s what we’ll do now.”

Allura’s worries didn’t vanished. 

“Could I do anything to help? I know, this is most private, of cause, but should I come with you?”

The eye of the man widened in surprise. But his look softened. Allura noticed the pensive looks of Freyda and Jessy resting on him. She also noticed Shiro, Keith and Krolia observing the situation. Ronan shook his head, but a thankful smile was on his lips. 

“Even you care for the General.”

Allura’s face showed a total lack of understanding. It made the man almost chuckle again. To her surprise, he placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Thank you, but this something between the General and myself.” He squeezed her shoulder thankfully. “The fact, that you care, is help enough.”

He looked up and felt the eyes of the Paladins, the kids and of Freyda resting on him. His eye became a wet glitter and he looked up to the ceiling, staring a hole in it, while a painful flicker rushed over his face.

“The fact, that all of you cares helps.”

He faced her again and removed his hand from her shoulder. He shared a final look with Freyda, who nodded at him before he bowed short before the Altean.

“It doesn’t make it easier, but it helps.” He hesitated a second but a vivid sparkle lighted up in his eye. “Me and Acxa.”

He left the canteen after he had received a worried nod from Allura. The woman looked up and recognized the surprised face of Jessy and the pensive look of the Galra following the man. And suddenly here own eyes widened in surprise. Freyda instantly faced her look and both observed each other for a while until a supportive nod from the Galra made her smile a little. There was hope. For both.


	22. What War Has Taken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning. Description of a fire death in this chapter and mentioning of torture and rape.
> 
> This chapter is one of my favorite in this story. It contains the heavy loss, Ronan had to suffer and all the heavy emotions, linked with it.

The minutes seemed to be stretched to hours. For a while, Acxa was sitting on the couch. She had rubbed with her hands over her upper legs from time to time, but with every further minute this uncomfortable knotting feeling in her stomach got worse. So she finally stood up and walked around in the quarter. Nothing personal was found on first sight. She remembered the day of the rescue. The two containers, probably only filled with equipment they had needed to survive. She walked on and suddenly she recognized a frame standing on a sideboard. Acxa got closer and her eyes shot open in surprise. The screen showed photos. Different pictures changed randomly, every ten seconds. The Galra inhaled sharp and took the frame to check the photos. She felt her throat tightened. It were all family pictures. Pictures of every family from all of the children, one photo from Ronan, Freyda and Tjaàl and a last one, with all of them together. Even AMRASU was on it. Tears came to Acxa’s eyes. She suddenly recognized her hands trembling and that her fingertips on the frame has turned white under the pressure.

“It was a hard work, but AMRASU and I had most luck, that we managed to rescue a photo from every child’s family.”

Acxa winced and turned around. She blushed a bit, as Ronan came closer. He took the frame out of her hands and watched the photos with a sad smile.

“They need this. We all, I think. Good memories.”

He sighed heavy.

“They’ll never come back, but this might help to keep the memory awake.”

Tears came to his eyes.

“To say goodbye.”

Acxa wrapped her arms around herself and turned away with a dark face. She heard the man placing the frame back on the sideboard. The Galra didn’t dare to turn around, but she recognized, that Ronan has walked to the couch and must have taken place. She hear the clicking sound of his implant and it made her eyes squeezed shut in shared pain.

“I have lost almost everything on Tantalus, General, thanks to the mad plans of the witch. My home, my friends, my face...”

His voice broke. Acxa bit her lips so hard, that she started to taste blood. She finally turned around and watched with a painful look in the crippled face of the man. The same pain was to be found in it.

“Your wife.”

He nodded in bitterness at Acxa’s answer. He offered her a seat beside him with a gesture of his hand. It took her all of her strength, but she walked over to him and took also seat on the couch.

“Ronan wasn’t a soldier. He was an engineer on Tantalus, when Lotor and his forces came to the planet. Instead of working with exploration teams he suddenly had to learn to fight and to keep the weapon systems working. We somehow managed to maintain resistance until this dreadful day.”

He made a fist in anger. The Galra saw him trembling in horror and anger. But his look suddenly changed and it was even worse to see it from him in this situation. Compassion. It was unbelievable for her, that he was able to show it for her. But he did. And it hurt her even more than his hate before. She closed her eyes in bitterness again.

“I see we both have met our own horror this day.”

Acxa managed a shaky nod. The man’s voice got weaker.

“As our resistance was broken, any order felt apart. But I returned to the colony, beside the fire. I had to find her. I had to try to save her.”

His voice felt to a teary whisper.

“Or at least to join her in death.”

He started to cry. Acxa was paralyzed. She couldn’t move. It seemed, that his words and his grief were opening a black hole in her heart and it tried to swallow her. She opened her eyes again and looked in his remaining one.

“It was both denied for me, General.”

He sobbed heavy.

“I found her. I found my Abby. I found my love in the middle of the chaos.”

His voice became tortured.

“I had to watch, how the fire swallowed her right in front of me. The bursting flames hit my face and punched me back and as the flames parted in front of me again...”

He began to wag in desperation. The pure terror of his memories was burning in his eye, like the fire he had mentioned.

“As they parted she wasn’t dead. No she was still dying in pain.”

The terror clawed Acxa with brutal force. Her heart was beating up to her throat and cold sweat was on her forehead. Her breathing was quick and heavy, while her hands got a hard grip in the fabric of the couch.

“ _It hurts, Ronan! Make it stop!_ ”

He was shaking his head, franticly.

“She had begged it in pain to me over and over again, until her great strength finally faded. With a shrieking tortured voice.”

He faced the shock look of the Galra.

“I’ll never forget her voice. This look. It hunts me. It’ll always hunt me, until I take my last breath. I was damned to watch her dying and all I could do was to promise her, that I’ll try to make it stop.”

Acxa felt sick. The feelings were obviously crushing down on the poor man in front of her. He had fixed his trembling hands with his eye.

“I failed twice this day. I couldn’t save her and I couldn’t die ether. I survived, but I lost everything.”

His voice felt so low. It lost every life and strength until it was an empty hollowed whisper.

“I don’t just lost my wife on Tantalus, I lost myself, General. That’s my reason for the Call. You have taken a happy man, who loved life and you have transformed him into a broken creature, who was forced to fight and kill. You have taken everything from him, even himself and you have created me.”

He had stopped crying and the former burning fire in his eye was gone. He was broken. So completely broken. It scared the Galra to death.

“Look at me, General. You have made me hate. The dreadful fire is still burning in me and I’m scared of it. It has changed me, also physical. It has consumed the man I was. I hate what it has made me do. It has made me swear revenge.”

He didn’t even looked like the man, who had started speaking to her. He was sunken in the couch, grown smaller and weaker in front of her.

“You killed me. You killed the person I was. You, Ezor, Zethrid, Narti, Lotor, Haggar and Zarkon.”

Beside her pure shock she managed to show a little surprised look. He closed his eye in pain.

“As soon as I recovered I unleashed my rage. I hunted every Galra I could find on this doomed planet. But no dead soldier eased the pain in me. Instead their faces started to hunt me, too. And one day I finally saw it. I found Humans and Galras, who had tried to escape the firestorm and had died together, while they had tried to survive together.”

The compassion returned suddenly to his face, as he faced Acxa’s painful look. And again this emotion cut deeper and sharper in her soul, than anything before.

“War is taking from all of us, General. I realized my mistake. Not the soldier, the commanders and rulers are responsible. The minds, who’re planning this madness. And so I searched for the names behind this attack and I got answers. But also new questions. And a new truth. Make it stop, Ronan. War caused this pain. Her pain. My pain, my hate, my rage. Make it stop, Ronan.”

Acxa’s eyes widened in horror, but also in surprise. She faced his determinant look in disbelieve. Her jaw dropped. But the man nodded weak at her. Tears in her eyes made her sight milky and wobbly.

“You started searching for peace.”

A bitter smile came to his lips. It was still much pain in it but it was a smile.

“For a starting point, first.”

He took a deep breath.

“I had found out, that Hades was also under attack and so I got to this planet to help defending it. I hoped to find one of you there, but I also wanted to handle things different. Peace hold up the chance to heal, but how could peace have a chance without respect. So I started to treat the dead with respect, whenever it was possible. I hoped, this sign would be noticed. And it was, but not with the result I hoped.”

Anger and resignation got a grip on his expression. Acxa barely dared to take a breath.

“I got cursed and offended by the other defenders, but I didn’t cared about them. I fought on on their sides for some years against the returning raids, closing my eye before the obvious truth, which was lying in front of me. And then one day I found Freyda.”

Ronan’s breath got pressed in pure anger. He stood up and started to walk around in the room to come down a bit, but with no success.

“They had tortured her, beaten her, burned her, leaving her to die in a cell. They were raping her, as I stepped in the room.”

With a hateful cursing scream he punched his fist in the middle of the couch table, while he got quickly down to his knees in order to support his punch. Under the shocked and surprised gasp of Acxa, the massive glass plate crackled and burst into pieces, like it was made of thin dry wood. She stared at the pieces in total disbelieve. Ronan remained in the position and looked down at the shattered table as well.

“Make it stop, Ronan. I made it stop. And as they tried to stop me from helping her, I made them pay for it.”

He stood up again and faced the horrified look of Acxa. He looked so tortured again. So hurt.

“I escaped with her and I nursed her. And then this strong woman opened her eyes. All the fear, all the horror in her look. It broke me again.”

He watched his hands in disgust.

“So much blood on my hands, General. Too much. It was the final decision for me. It’s a lie to say, Humans were less cruel. War has taught me different. I didn’t wanted to be part of it anymore.”

“So you left Hades with her, in the end.”

Acxa was shaking. She had stopped wiping away her tears. She felt so empty. But he laughed bitter.

“Not in the end, as soon as possible. Three days later, in fact”

Acxa’s eyes widened in shock. She couldn’t believe it.

“But Freyda has said, you left Hades with her, when she was pregnant!”

The pain in his face increased and Acxa finally jumped up from the couch in pure shock. She was trembling heavily.

“She was so scared and in an incredible bad shape. But these eyes. Her strength. I have fallen for her in the moment she had opened her eyes. I only noticed this fact later, but today I know it for sure. She was too weak to survive an abortion. It was no option. Not for me. Make it stop, Ronan. I wouldn’t fail again. I offered her to take care of the child. To help her through everything. To be the father, he deserve to have...”

He sobbed heavily again.

“...and to give her the chance to return home with honor. But this strong and beautiful woman stayed with me. Stayed with her child.”

He squeezed his eye shut.

“I have found the love of my life twice, General. But thanks to war I feel guilty, because of it. It still feels some day, like I betray my Abby. Like I betray my love for her and at the same time my love for Freyda. It isn’t fair. It isn’t fair...”

He let himself fall on the couch again, exhausted and empty. He stared at the broken table and felt quite for a while.

Acxa was about to flee. Only her shock let her remain frozen on spot. It was a nightmare. The cruelest one, she could think of. If she only had protested to use the new bombs on Tantalus. If she only had protested against this whole madness even sooner. Ronan was right. It wasn’t fair. It has to stop.

“Kathy is right.”

His sudden change of subject caught her off guard. He offered her to take seat again, but she hesitated. He kept up his offering look until the Galra finally took place again. He sighed sad and weak.

“You stay behind your mask, General.”

She avoided his questioning look. Ronan leaned forward and with a little hesitation he finally dared to take Acxa’s hand. The Galra winced back in surprise, like his hand had burned her. The man sighed again.

“You tell me only more, when you stay quite, Acxa.”

Her eyes widened in surprise again. Her look was filled with a lack of understanding. There was something warm in his voice, as he called her by her name. Some sort of offered understanding. But it burned in her wounds. In wounds, she had ignored for a long time.

“Don’t blame your friends, Acxa. Don’t blame your Amarzzari. They worried about you and they’re right.”

He took his implant from the couch and placed it back. The field covered his scars again.

“You haven’t even tried to find excuses. It tells me, that you have seen your own mistakes, you have made. But this doesn’t mean, that they are completely your fault.”

Acxa bit her bottom lip again. She wanted to turn away from him, but he took her hand again and this time she let him do so.

“To take down the mask means also to face the own scars for yourself. They won’t vanish behind it and some of them won’t ever stop aching, but they a part of you.”

He carefully took her hand up and placed it on his scar under the holo-field. Acxa felt the wrinkled burned skin and swallowed hard.

“They will be a part of you, no matter how good you can hide them. Kathy is right. You haven’t bad eyes and I think we got more in common, than I once have thought of. But my hate for you hasn’t allowed me to dare a look on it. So what else has War taken from you?”

Acxa pulled her hand carefully back and turned away, but she recognized a painful flicker in Ronan’s eye. He kept observing her, but the Galra stayed quite. This change of behavior from him scared her.

“How, Ronan? I am responsible. How could you sit here and try to help your enemy?”

His look became tortured and incredibly sad at her desperate quote.

“Couldn’t you see it, Acxa? Because War shouldn’t win! Without Freyda I would have lost my battle long ago! She’s my key to find some sort of peace. If I wouldn’t try to fight my hate against you and for what you have brought to me, I would kill myself! And I would kill her! And Tjaàl! And Jessy and Kathy! And Chrissy, Pat, Clarissa and Sam, too! I would kill Veronica and all your friends!”

He trembled in grief and worries.

“A part of me screams against this, Acxa. Cutting your throat would be the easier part on first sight.”

The Galra winced in cold shock at his words. She had seen his training and what he had done the table.

“But what comes with it? Only new nightmares. And it wouldn’t even replace the old ones.”

Her confused look let his worries grew visibly.

“You must have lost your parents as a child. They have probably been killed in front of your eyes, due to your words for Kathy. And Freyda has told me about the Confirakk.”

Acxa winced at this word and her personal horror rushed over her face for a moment. Grief and sadness were to be seen in Ronan’s face, but a glim of hope in his eye, as Acxa’s mask felt for this brief moment.

“Your friends are worried for you. Even an Altean! I cannot ignore this! I can’t or I loose myself again, Acxa and I’m not sure, if I would have the luck to get fixed a third time!”

He breathed hard and heavy and suddenly he took her at her shoulders and shook her a little. The Galra watched him with eyes widened in surprise and shock.

“You only taught me lessons on Tantalus, you was FORCED to learn before. War has taught you so. If I would close my eyes before it, how could I make it stop? I have promised to make it stop. And this oath counts more for me, than my sworn revenge.”

He saw the deep confusion on Acxa’s face. It brought the sadness back to his face. But also a little anger.

“I don’t take the Vocazz easy, Acxa. I would lie, when I would said, I didn’t wanted to get revenge. But I have learned the hardest way, that no peace could be found in revenge. At least not for me.”

He released her out of his grip, but observed her pensively. The woman avoided his eye again. Her look wandered from the broken table to Ronan and then to the frame on the sideboard, to rest on the changing photos.

“Do you respect all terms of the Vocazz, Ronan?”

A dangerous glow came to his eye, but he nodded.

“Of cause. With all the consequences. But I also respect the opportunity to settle things different, if possible.”

Acxa kept focused on the frame. She did a little sigh and stood up. Her face returned to her stoic look, she used to have, but the muscles of the corner of her right eye was jerking slightly.

“Then everything necessary is said. I know your reasons, and they were more than worthy for the Vocazz. I cannot deny my guilt for your lost, Ronan and you’ve honored me by giving me the chance to restore my grace and honor. And you know, why I have done, what I’ve done. I failed questioning decisions. I helped making bad ones. The Parfazzi is opened. Send me the date for the final challenge, when you have found one.”

She was about to go, but Ronan blocked her way. He watched her deep in her eyes and the Galra barely withstood his look. He nodded finally at her.

“Fine. Due to the circumstances, I’ll wait with it, until we have found and destroyed the facility ship.”

She nodded back but suddenly she felt his hands resting on her shoulder. His look was serious.

“Honor could be a bastard, when found in War, Acxa. It has betrayed me more than once.”

It seemed, that he thought about something, but then he shook his head, slightly.

“Don’t let it betray you, too. Cause I will seriously try to search for a peaceful solution. One we both can live on with. I owe this so many people and most of all myself. But I’m in danger and I’ll need your help, too. You owe me that, General. Cause another mistake from you...”

He looked at the table.

“I will respect your choice, if necessary. But I wouldn’t forgive you, if you’ll force me to make this step.”

He gave her a free way.

“You may see it as a warning.”

Acxa closed her eyes and hit her chest with her fist. Ronan returned the respectful greeting. Then the Galra left the room. Ronan walked back to the couch and let himself fall on it. He watched his hands again. He could have shot her with her own blaster down in the canyon. It would have made things easier. He bit his lip and shook his head harsh. No, he had seen Veronica kissing her. He had seen her friends. He had seen his own pain in her face.

Make it stop, Ronan.

This weight was hurting so much. He felt his anger rising again. She didn’t seem to have listened. She didn’t seem to understand. Or she did she denied to understand? He wasn’t sure.

Make it stop, Ronan.

How could he make it stop. He has tried once. With Freyda and Tjaàl. But War had found them, again. Now only more blood was on his hands. He hated her for it. But this hate was the reason for the pain. For so much pain. Freyda had showed him this fact.

Make it stop, Ronan.

How could he, when he seemed to have to fight alone. When the other side still wanted to be the enemy and only seemed to search for punishment and not for redemption.

Ronan felt a kiss on his forehead and opened his eye. Freyda was leaning over him. He hadn’t heard her coming.

“Where’re the kids?”

She stroke carefully with her thumb over his cheek.

“Jessy. She said, we should have some more time for us.”

He had never seen her face so worried, before. He knew the question in her beautiful yellow eyes.

“Yes, I’ve seen it, too.”

She gave him a smile, but it faded as she recognized his grief and sadness.

“But you’re right, she hasn’t seen it for herself.”

Freyda laid herself beside Ronan and nuzzled her head carefully on his chest. Ronan started to rub her horns.

“She hasn’t understand, that I didn’t offer her the easy way. That I want to purge the guilt not the person. She deserves it. I deserves it even more.”

Freyda sighed.

“She’s a true Galra, in this case. Separating both isn’t easy for her. It wasn’t for me, remember.”

Ronan kissed her on her head.

“Help me Freyda. Help her to see it, cause I fear I couldn’t.”

He started to shake and Freyda wrapped her arm around him to hold him tight.

“Look what my hate has made me do. One careless moment and war is laughing on me again...”

“No!”

Freyda’s eyes were burning as she lifted herself up a bit to face Ronan’s look.

“The Call is also a chance. Few Galras realize this. But you and Tjaàl have shown me. But you also have seen it, Ronan. Thanks to Abby, beside of all your grief. You may have called in rage and anger, but you take it with the proper honor now! You have seen it! She has a chance to realize it, too.

Ronan nodded with tears in his eye. He carefully brushed with his fingertips over the golden chain and the ring.

 “Not only Abby. Thanks to you, too, Freyda. You and the kids.”

 She smiled warm at him. It drove away his worries. Only her face was left and this beautiful proud smile on her lips. The lips he was kissing deeply within the next second.


	23. Within Minefields

Pidge was on her way to the workshop of the Atlas. Due to Freyda, Ronan should be in there with AMRASU. Shiro and the Paladins had made a plan to get the location from the facility ship from the planet. Ronan had been informed about it, to make himself ready. Pidge has went to his quarter after the meeting, but only had found Freyda and the kids. She wanted to say sorry for running away from him. The scar had really shocked her, but it wasn’t her intention to run away and making Ronan probably feeling rejected and uncomfortable. The man was working on the big robot, like the Galra had suspected. He was busy, cleaning the legs and it seemed, that he was already done so with AMRASU’s body. She took a deep breath and came closer to them.

“I’m sorry for storming away, as you have showed us your scars. I really didn’t want to.”

Ronan looked up and faced her embarrassed look. He looked at her without any shown emotion, but suddenly his face softened and he gave her a warm smile.

“No need to be. I know how I look like without the holo-field.”

Pidge blushed still a bit ashamed.

“I think so, but I shouldn’t have stormed away. But in this moment I was so shocked. I suddenly felt sick and...”

He smiled even warmer at her and after a little hesitation he placed a hand carefully on her shoulder.

“Thank you, I accept this apologize. But it really wasn’t necessary.”

He smiled even warmer as a thankful smile finally grew on the Paladin’s face. He continued his work on the robot, while he spoke to her again.

“In fact I only have found one person, who hasn’t at least winced back at me.”

Pidge nodded with understanding.

“Freyda.”

But her eyes widened in surprise as Ronan shook his head.

“No, even she was shocked by my face first. Not as much as other people, but still shocked.”

He stopped working again and turned back to the Paladin with a sad smile.

“Kathy.”

Pidge released a shocked gasp. She stared with widened eyes at the man who simply nodded at her. He finally stood up and pulled a chest with tools towards them and took place on it, while offering Pidge the place beside him.

“As we rescued Jessy and Kathy, both haven’t trusted us. Like the other kids. Jessy dared the step sooner to open up, but Kathy blocked every try to find a way to her.”

He stared at floor in front of him and Pidge’s stomach was knotting.

“I think I somehow reminded her of the man, who killed her mother. Jessy had never lost a word about it, in order not to hurt me, but I think I’m right with this suggestion. This man had left this scar on her face and on her soul.”

Tears came to the eyes of the Paladin, but she looked with surprise at the man, as he took her hand and squeezed it.

“My implant hurts sometimes. The damage the nerves have taken causes this pain. Kathy had recognized, that it was hurting me one day a lot more than usual and out of nowhere she decided to come over.”

A teary smile came to his lips.

“She had tugged me down to her and had placed her hand beside my lost eye. So she recognized the holo-field and had begged me to shut it down. I obeyed and as soon as she saw my scars she had simply lined with her fingers at her own and then along my burned face and then she had hugged me to cry with me.”

Pidge’s yes widened in surprise, as the man pulled her into a soothing hug to comfort her. But she let him do so. She understood how these kids, how all of them have grown together. It amazed her, that he could stand so strong for them. Her eyes felt on AMRASU again, while Ronan hugged her. It seemed to her, that the robot was observing the whole situation. The man seemed to recognize her curiosity. He released her from his hug and nodded back at the robot.

“Do you wanna help me cleaning his legs?”

A genuine smile grew on her lips and the man handed her a cloth, an air-pistol to blow away fine sand and dust and an special spray to oil the moving parts. Both worked on quiet for a while at the legs, but Pidge noticed the little smiles and nods of respect for her skilled and careful work with the machine. A question came to her mind. A one which was pushed aside before.

“You said his legs.”

Ronan’s smile grew and a sparkle came to his remaining eye.

“Of cause. He has his own personality. And my friend has decided to be addressed as a male as I had decided to let him be more than a thing.”

Pidge shared baffled looks with Ronan and the robot. She petted the leg, she was cleaning carefully twice.

“In that case, nice to meet you, AMRASU.”

Her jaw dropped, as the robot gently placed on of his other legs on her shoulder. Ronan laughed warm at the confused look of the young woman.

“He said, nice to meet you, too. And he want to say sorry for scaring you and the others.”

Ronan laughed even more, as Pidge’s hopelessly confused face turned to him.

“The meeting. He would never really tried to hurt Keith, but like Shiro he wanted to make clear, that he also wouldn’t accept any provocations.”

He noticed, that Pidge’s confusion wasn’t vanished, so he tabbed twice at his bionic eye.

“It was one of the reasons for having this. AMRASU is able to communicate with special console tablets, but we had to sacrifice the last one for the parts in it. But the eye allows him to communicate with me. He could also be my eyes and ears, literally.”

He placed a hand on the body of the robot and smiled, as the sensor unit turned to him.

“He doesn’t seem to mind, that he is a machine. A thing in other peoples eyes. He handles things pretty practically in this case, but I do care about it. He has saved me and became a friend through the last six years.”

He gave AMRASU a little shove.

“Yes, I have saved you, too.”

Pidge’s mouth closed slowly and a sad knowing face returned to her.

“You have said, that he had rescued you after your escape, but how have you decided to let him be more than a robot?”

A shadow rushed over his face, but he nodded at AMRASU after a second and turned back to Pidge.

“He was damaged as well, as he found me. The attack had activated some hidden sub-systems. You remember my sarcastic snort, as you picked us up?”

Pidge nodded with curiosity.

“The AMRASU-Project. It was a test for the military use of artificial intelligence within independent operating robot systems. The civil use as an medical and engineering unit was planned as a first step for practice in field. But things went wrong.”

Pidge nodded with a dark face.

“The units got lost and the project was closed.

Ronan smiled sarcastic.

“Half true. The artificial intelligence was better, than they had planned. AMRASU had given me access to the hidden files, he could rescue from his project on Tantalus. On two other planets, the artificial intelligence got a clue, what greater idea was behind their origin. They have overwritten their own security protocols and got access to their hidden sub-systems. As soon as they found out about, what the greater plan was, they destroyed themselves in order to prevent an further use of the gained data.”

Pidge’s hand became trembling fists. She remembered, how the earth forces former have hidden away the truth about her brother and her father. It seemed that there was even more hidden from them. Obviously Ronan was recognizing her reaction with a little satisfaction and approval.

“They changed the routines with the last unit on Tantalus. More data backups and periodical system resets were done, to prevent a similar incident. But the damage he had taken at the attack has activated the primary combat protocol, they already have installed in his system. The machine started to fight instantly against the Galran forces. Until he found me.”

AMRASU laid an leg on Ronan’s shoulder and the man placed his hand on it, petting the leg thankfully.

“He decided. Ending more lives or saving another. So I survived.”

Ronan watched at the sad face of the Paladin and wiped away a tear.

“I stopped erasing his data memory over and over again and let him made his own decision and so he joined me.”

Pidge looked back at the robot and then at Ronan.

“I see, he helped you fighting against the Galras.”

Ronan shook his head with a serious face.

“No.” He faced the Paladins confused look with a sad shadow in his remaining eye. “He trained with me, he took care of my wounds. He helped me modifying my equipment, but he hasn’t fought again until we had to defend ourself and the kids down in the canyon.”

Ronan did a sigh of grief.

“I wish I would have seen it earlier, but only on my way to Hades I started to understand the lesson, Tantalus had taught me. He had understood it in the moment, he had decided to save me.”

Pidge was trembling. She knew, that he was telling her much about his past in this moment. She thought back about Acxa. She wanted to help. Both of them, so she had to risk something.

“Which lesson, Ronan?”

He stayed silence, but his hands were jerking. She recognized the whirring of the optical unit. His voice was shaking as he finally started to speak again.

“Thanks to him I was on my feet again after a week. I instantly started to fight on against the troops on Tantalus, without any mercy. I knew, it wouldn’t scare them away, but my plan was to let them pay horribly for what they have done to me. But some days later things changed.”

His breath became harder.

“I prepared another ambush for patrols in the ruins of the colony, but then one lonely Galra soldier approached. I was surprised, but I prepared myself to end his life, like I have ended so many others before. But then I stopped, as I recognized, what he was doing.”

His face showed deep sadness and grief. The man had taken seat on the box again.

“He was checking the dead. First I didn’t understood why, but then I heard his desperate cries as I got closer. He searched for his wife.”

Pidge got pale and so was Ronan. She knew what would come, but she shook her had in shock and grief.

“He had lost his Amarzzari in the fire, the Galran forces had caused. He knew, that it was a hopeless try to find her again, but he had to. He had to say goodbye and to honor her in death. It broke my heart to see it.”

Pidge noticed his deep pain. Her terror grew and her eyes widened in shock, but she didn’t dare to interrupt him. She had to let him finish this. She would need these information, she was sure.

“I dared to approach him. He didn’t even tried to attack me. He had lost all of his will and was only searching for her. So I offered my help.”

Tears started to run down his cheek.

“We really found her with AMRASU’s help, suffocated in a bunker, together with other Galras and humans, who had tried to escape the firestorm together. We buried all of them with the proper honors.”

AMRASU came closer to the tool box and Ronan leaned against the robot. Talking about it had cost him a lot, but he wasn’t finished.

“His loss had broken him, but he was also thankful, that he had found her to say goodbye. He helped AMRASU and me escaping Tantalus. I have never seen him again, but he has shown me, that war is taking from all of us. I had a lot to think about on my flight to Hades. It was a fist step to judge things different.”

Pidge stayed quite. The terror was seen on her face. But suddenly Ronan took her in an comforting embrace again.

“It’s still hard to trust other people. Like Lance has said, Hades, AMRASU and now this assault has proven to me, that evil things come with certain persons, not with certain species.”

Pidge stood up and stumbled, but Ronan and AMRASU aided her stand. She watched with sadness at him.

“You shared his pain. You still do.”

It was no question from her. Ronan’s face hardened, instantly. Instead of an answer he took an air-pistol again and continued to clean on the legs of the robot. Pidge got pale.

“Do you, Ronan?

He didn’t turned around, but he stopped his work again.

“Thanks for your apologize, young Paladin. And thanks for helping me with AMRASU, but I have to finish the cleaning. I’ll need his assistance, when we go back to the planet, to find the location of this facility ship.”

The panic grew on her face as she turned around. She was running through the corridors of the ship, searching for Keith. Or Veronica. The few information, Acxa and Freyda had shared with them, had been disturbingly enough. But this new fact scared her. The way Ronan had looked at Acxa after their rescue. This dreadful fire in his remaining eye at the meeting. She needed to hear a second opinion. But she was sure, that no other point of view would ease her new grown worries.   
She passed a corner and bumped into a tall Galra. She looked up and found Krolia’s questioning eyes.

“Easy, Pidge. What has happened?”

Tears came to the Paladin’s eyes and the worries grew on the Galra’s face.

“Acxa...”

Krolia nodded serious at her.

“I know. Keith has told me everything about it.”

But she was simply pulled down the corridor from Pidge, who still was visibly in panic.

“No he hasn’t. I have found out more.”


	24. Where Honor Lies

“Acxa…?”

The quarter was dark and quiet, as Veronica returned from her shift. The thick and heavy quiet was screaming at her and it alarmed her. She entered carefully the quarter and switched on the light. Acxa wasn’t in the room, so she walked on the the sleeping room. She saw a familiar silhouette sitting on the bed and her throat tightened. Acxa had pulled her knees to her chin and had wrapped her arms around her legs. She was wagging fore and back a little. And she had made no sound. 

“No.”

Veronica’s hand had wandered to the switch for the light, when Acxa controlled voice made her stop. The voice of the Galra seemed so distanced. It scared Veronica to the bone. The last time, she had felt such a distance between them was the day, when she had dared to join Acxa on the canteen for the first time. When she was new around here. Veronica hesitated. Her hand stayed near the switch for a while, before she finally removed her hand. She walked over to Acxa. Her hair hung in her face and covered her eyes, together with the darkness in the room. Veronica carefully placed her hand on Acxa’s head to pull her against her middle, but she nearly winced back. Her girlfriend seemed to deny this comforting touch with every inch of her body. Acxa was trembling under the tension, her muscles were about to build up at Veronica’s soothing touch.

“Just leave, please.”

These three words cut deep and painful in Veronica’s soul. She took away her hand, while her tears were running down her cheek. Her helpless look rested on her girlfriend, who had started to wag again. She couldn’t see, which object the Galra was facing, but she definitely avoided to look at her. She stood lost beside her, unsure what to do. She was about to take seat beside Acxa, when the Galra stopped wagging.

“I said leave.”

Acxa didn’t show any sign of emotion, even at Veronica’s teary gasp. The woman kept frozen on spot for some seconds, before she stormed out of the bedroom. Acxa heard her leaving the quarter. Only then she dared to sob again. And her body started to shake with every new teary sob of desperation, which came to her in her loneliness.

 

oOo

 

She had no clue how long she had cried for herself again, when she herd Veronica entering the quarter again. Acxa felt instantly quiet and distant. She heard the sound of some dishes and she recognized Veronica entering the sleeping room. Her girlfriend placed a tablet with tea on a nightstand and left the room again. Acxa had barely time to recognize the spicy and fruity scent of ginger and lemon, when Veronica came back with a chair. The woman placed the chair beside the bed in safe distance to Acxa, but close enough to reach the nightstand with the tea. And obviously with a candle. Veronica lighted up the candle and the warm and soothing light filled the room, but also allowed Acxa to keep her face hidden in the shadows. Veronica filled two cups with the hot tea and the rich flavor of the drink floated the room with a pleasant warmth. Then she picked her cup and took place on the chair.

And so she waited.

Acxa noticed, that her girlfriend was nipping at her tea from time to time. She had obviously cried, a faint red was still to be found in her eyes, but no judging look, no accusation, no grudge was written in her face. Only worries. It made Acxa’s stomach cramp.

“I have said, you should leave.”

Veronica simply nodded.

“I have.”

Acxa watched her observing look out of the corner of her eyes.

“But you’re still here.”

Veronica shook her head. She placed her cup back on the nightstand.

“Wrong, I came back to bring us some tea. I was absent in the time between.”

Acxa’s voice remained distant and emotionless.

“Then leave again and stay away.”

“No.”

It made Acxa finally turn to Veronica and a little anger was glowing in her eyes, but Veronica didn’t move. She only faced her look with a patience, which only could be found in the strongest determination. Acxa tried to stare her down, but without any success. The human had crossed her arms before her chest.

“This is our quarter, remember?”

Acxa kept staring in her eyes for some moment and then she stood up in a harsh move. She was about to leave the room, when Veronica’s provocative voice made her stop.

“Do you really want to dishonor yourself, by dishonoring me and my offer to be your strength, too?”

Acxa turned around in trembling rage, but Veronica faced her look with the same rage in her eyes. The humans lip was quivering heavily.

“Good! Scream at me, be mad with me, try to hit me, if it would help you, but don’t be so distant! I thought we were over this phase months ago!”

She stood up and got carefully closer to the Galra. Acxa’s anger faded with every step, her girlfriend came closer to her and the sadness and bitterness got control over her face.

“Don’t cage me out, Acxa! Please, don’t dare to do this to me! I can handle everything, but not this cold distance from you!”

She finally reached her and started to stroke Acxa’s cheek with the backside of her fingers. Both woman were shaking heavily. Acxa closed her eyes and hot tears run down her cheek and over Veronica’s finger. The woman in front of her sobbed hard and finally Acxa pressed the hand of her girlfriend on her face. Within the next second she found herself in Veronica’s arms, crying uncontrollably. She barely recognized, that she was guided back to the bed and for a long time the desperate weeping of her, mixed with the crying of her girlfriend were the only sound, which filled then room.

“I love you, Acxa. You cannot command me to leave, when I think, you need me most.”

She placed a kiss between the horns of her girlfriend, who had almost clawed herself in the comforting embrace of Veronica. The woman lifted careful the head of the Galra to face her desperate look.

“Speak to me. What has happened? Let me be part of your strength.”

Acxa felt the soothing lips on her head again as Veronica pulled her head close to her chest, while the woman was gently rubbing her horns.

“I have killed him, Veronica.”

She heard the shocked and sharp breath behind her. Veronica was frozen on spot but had tightened her protecting grip around her girlfriend.

“Impossible. I have seen him on the monitors in the workshop only one hour ago.”

Acxa shook her head with a heavy sob.

“I have killed the man he was.”

Her weeping got worse again and Veronica did her best, to sooth her back to a point, where she could continue her explanation.

“He was an engineer, not a soldier. He never wanted to kill anyone. But I have made him do so. I have destroyed his home, have killed his friends, have burned his face, I have… I have...”

Acxa’s breath became panicked. She turned around to Veronica and watched with widened eyes in the tortured face of her girlfriend.

“I have killed his wife, Veronica. His love!”

She pressed herself as close as possible at Veronica and cried along, while the woman helplessly tried to ease some of her pain.

“But you weren’t responsible, Acxa. You have learned to do those things.”

The Galra only sobbed harder.

“But I should have known better, because of my training. I should have protested against using these weapons. I should have questioned everything so much earlier. I have killed him, Veronica. I have killed him...”

“And now, he wants to kill you...”

The pure panic in Veronica’s voice made Acxa straighten up, instantly. She shook her head heavy, almost frantic.

“No, he offered forgiveness. He’ll search for a peaceful solution to present on the day of the duel.”

Now it was Veronica, who started to cry uncontrollably, while she wrapped her arms around Acxa to hold her as tight as she could. It took her a long time to recognize Acxa’s grief and sadness.

“Acxa…?”

The Galra looked ashamed away from her but Veronica placed a hand on her cheek and turned her head back to her.

“How could he try to forgive me, when I cannot forgive myself, Veronica?”

The relief, which was seconds before in the face of Acxa’s girlfriend was replaced by the greatest shock, Acxa had ever seen. The Galra was trembling in shame and sadness.

“A crime like that deserves death, nothing less. The solution, he’s searching for, must compensate the weight of his loss.”

Acxa was pale and shook her head in frantic harsh moves.

“How could anything ease such a pain, Veronica? How do I deserve compassion from him? How could I live in honor, when I know, what I have done to him?”

Both women stared in horror at each other. Acxa was sure, that Veronica would storm out of the room at any second. Her look had left the room and nothing but fear and terror was left in her face. But then she grabbed the Galra with a fast motion and placed her lips on Acxa’s

“How could you think, you doesn’t. War has killed you, too. Like it has killed him, Acxa.”

She placed another deep kiss on the lips of the surprised Galra.

“Honor could only exist in life not in death, Acxa. It’s a feeling! Dead people have no feelings!”

She kissed her another time, even deeper and more desperate, like she was trying to kiss away all the horror and grief.

“You aren’t the person anymore, who helped killing him. He has seen it. The person, he is now, has seen it, Acxa. Dare to see it, too. Allow this new person to live and not only to die again, because you will die, whether you would win the duel or not.”

She tried again to place her lips on Acxa’s but the Galra pushed her back and faced her with a scared and shocked look, her red-cried eyes widened.

“You think, that there is honor in me? And that this honor could live on in me.”

Veronica pulled Acxa’s forehead against hers with a determinant teary smile.

“I’m not thinking it, Acxa, I know it. Not only live on in you. In us. In Ronan. In Freyda. We all cannot carry this burden alone. But we...”

Veronica couldn’t finished her sentence, because the Galra had slammed her lips against hers. She felt the Galra’s fingers buried in her hair, while the women shared passionate kisses with her as she got pushed back in she sheets from her girlfriend. Her beautiful strong girlfriend.

Both didn’t recognize the incoming call from Shiro for a long time.


	25. War Is Laughing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning. Description of a fire death in this chapter.

Ronan was alarmed as soon as he entered the briefing room. He had somehow expected, that his moment of carelessness with Pidge might cause some reactions, but Freyda’s presence made him worried. And it made him angry. He felt her eyes on him, while she forced herself to a smile. She always did that, when his instincts were about to took over. Maybe she was ordered to be here as well, but she also wanted to be here. The other Paladins were present and they looked worried at him. The Commander’s face was also worried, but more than that he seemed to be nervous. Nervous and angry as well. Ronan noticed another person, standing in the corner of the room. The high grown Galra woman had her eyes closed and was leaning on the wall with her arms crossed before her chest. She was in a somber mood as she opened her eyes and faced his look. He simply greeted her by hitting his chest with his right fist and a nod. Her mood even dropped more, but she returned the greeting instantly, before she faced Keith and Pidge with an angry look. Keith ignored it, but Pidge winced a bit and turned away from her. Freyda came closer and wrapped her arms around him and both rested their heads against each other. Right this moment, the door opened again and Acxa and Veronica entered the room. Both were also frozen on spot and Veronica got a grip on Acxa’s arm, as she noticed the worried and scanning eyes, but Acxa’s face hardened. She shared a short look with Ronan and both understood. It seemed, that the rest have gained a clue, what the Call meant.

“Take seats, please.”

Shiro’s voice was controlled, but slightly trembling. Veronica was about to pull Acxa to a seat, but her girlfriend faced Shiro with a hard look and kept standing. Also Ronan and Freyda didn’t move. The eyes of the Commander got a dangerous glow.

“I won’t repeat myself. Take a seat.”

The three kept staring angry at him, but then Ronan sighed and took place at the table and Freyda followed. This convinced Acxa to took a chair beside Keith and Veronica placed herself between Acxa and Freyda. Shiro took a deep breath and pressed his fingertips of his hand together before his face, sharing worried looks between Ronan and Acxa.

“We understand it now. We know about the Vocazz and the reason for it.”

Ronan’s look was empty. Freyda took his hand and squeezed it, but he barely recognized her comforting touch. He was in his own nightmare again. Shiro’s face softened.

“We understand you Ronan. Nothing can bring her back, but this isn’t an option. None I can tolerate.”

“What does he speak of, Acxa?”

Lance’s face showed worried confusion.

“I mean, we were called, because they’re about to kill each other, but none of you have told me already why.”

Acxa’s look was almost broken. Her eyes were glittering in anger and sadness. She also ignored the begging tugging of her girlfriend. 

“He’s talking about this.”

Shocked eyes observed Freyda taking off her chain with the deformed ring. She placed the chain on the table, for everyone to see. Pain and grief seemed to gnaw on her, while she done so. Ronan faced the ring and carefully touched the golden metal. But suddenly he winced back in pain, like the ring had burned his fingertips. Freyda pulled him in her arms. The man started to cry. A shocked room stared at them, while he was weeping in desperation. 

“It wasn’t your business. You had no right to do so, Shiro!”

Acxa’s voice was cold. Deadly cold, but a wet glitter was in her eyes. Veronica almost winced back from her, because of the barely hidden anger. But Shiro glared back at her.

“I have all the right. I’m the Commander of this ship and I won’t allow any kind of vendetta. No one has the right to demand it here and no one would get a bloody duel as long as I am the Commander!”

“I have no right? I HAVE NO RIGHT!?!”

Ronan was jumped up from his seat and had slammed his hand in rage on the table. He was shaking in fury anger. He nearly ripped out his implant, letting his heavy scar reappear for everyone. Shiro was about to close his eyes in shock for a second, but Ronan screamed his rage at him.

“No! Look at me! Lock me in my face and tell me, I had no right to do so! Cause I have! I! HAVE!”

He turned his head harsh to share tortured looks with the others.

“No one knows, how it is, to watch his love been swallowed by fire. How it is to be rejected by death at the same moment. To be forced to see, what the fire has left of her.”

He turned to Acxa and faced her shocked and ashamed look. 

“Abby was such a strong woman. I have fallen for her, because of this, but today my only wish is, that she would have been weak!”

He cried heavily, but he turned his burning look to Shiro again.

“As the flames, which had swallowed her parted, she was still alive for a while. Burned so much, that I couldn’t even recognize her face anymore, that I couldn’t even touch her, because it had only increased her torture. But her strength FORCED her to hold a painful grip on the rest of life, which was in her. And I was FORCED to watch it.”

He broke down. He curled himself together to a shivering ball, wagging fore and back. Freyda was on her knees, instantly, holding him as tight as she could. For an awful long time his desperate cries were the only sound, which filled the room. Only with Freyda’s help he got back on his seat. He was breathing heavy and tears were still running out of his red swollen eye.

“It was my right and it is.”

He looked up to the Galran woman, who had observed the scenery with shock and sadness. Krolia simply nodded with dark face and Ronan nodded back at her.

“I respect the Galran rules of honor. So don’t dare to question my own, again!”

He rested in Freyda’s arms. The woman looked painful worried at him, stroking and kissing his head, in order to ease his pain. Both didn’t cared anymore about the persons around them. He just pulled himself closer and sobbed in her chest.  
Acxa and Veronica observed the scenery with vivid horror. The Galra had barely recognized, that Veronica had also wrapped her arms around her, like she was trying to block away all the pain, which was rushing in giant waves through the room. But it didn’t work. Suddenly Ronan stood up. He was shaky on his legs, but he faced Shiro again. The Commander was still quiet.

“I have promised my help on the planet. I’ll stay to this promise. After that we’ll leave the ship. I won’t set a foot on board here again, so you don’t have to fear any further problems. Voltron has saved us down there, so our lives for the duel.”

Freyda’s eyes widened in surprise and shock and also Kroila gave him a shocked gasp. Ronan sighed tired. He faced Acxa. All color had faded from her face at his words and it seemed that her look wasn’t a surprise for him.

“In the end, I care more for my new family. I have lived with this pain for six years now. I can live on with it.”

He hit his chest weak with his fist before Acxa, facing the shocked glittering eyes of the half-Galra.

“My new family for my old, General. Honor can only be found in life, so I take what I get. I have seen your will to settle things with honor, Acxa. You would have been worthy to face your guilt. I sincerely wish, that you could live with it, too.”

He faced a still shocked Veronica and also greeted her with respect.

“Aid her stand.”

He looked up to Shiro again, who was also struggling with his feelings. His face had hardened visibly.

“Because its hard to do so, when someone rips at the floor under your feet.”

Ronan took his implant from the table and was about to go, when Allura’s begging voice made him hesitate.

“Ronan, please. You must understand him. We couldn’t accept this. Let us talk about another way.”

“There was another way, Allura.”

His voices scared everyone. It seemed to be so deeply frustrated and almost bare of any hope. He turned around and faced the Altean with a look so lost and hollowed, that a cold shiver ran down her spine.

“But I fear none of you have seen it.” 

He looked to Keith and Pidge, who turned away from him. 

“Or has understood me.” 

Her turned to Acxa and a sad smile rushed over his lips only to fall back in his hopeless state. 

“Or has dared to accept it.” 

He finally turned to Shiro and his anger came back to him. 

“Or has dared to believe in her.”

He faced Kroila, who had listened to him with obviously great surprise but also with the same growing anger and desperation, which had to be found in his words.

“Make it stop, Ronan. How could I, when no one wants to help me? How could I, when I’m the only one, who dares to respect her honor? The Galran way of honor. How could there be peace for us, when there is no understanding? I’ll keep on trying to make it stop. I have sworn this to my Abby. At least for my new family.”

Tears felt down from Kroila’s cheeks, while she stared at the man with shocked widened eyes and open mouth. She straightened up and hit her chest with her fist, bowing deep before Ronan. For a brief moment his face seemed to lighten up a bit. He returned the gesture and turned back to Allura, who watched him with tears in her eyes.

“There was a way. A Galran way. A bridge to find peace for a Galra and a Human, but your Commander had blown it up. No duel, no solution. The Call allows no way back.”

His face became incredibly sad and broken again.

“At least from a Galran point of view. And now excuse me. We have to prepare our leave.”

He turned back to the door and left the room. Freyda took the chain from the table and hung it back around her neck. Her look rested with cold anger on every member of the team, beside Veronica. With a look of deepest worries and sadness she walked over to her, to pull the shocked woman in a long and close hug. She faced Acxa’s pale and empty face, while she was still holding Veronica. Suddenly her eyes shot wide open and she pushed the human back to share short looks between Acxa and Veronica. She pressed her hand before her mouth.

“No...”

Her questioning look rested on Veronica.

“She had started to see it, too.”

Acxa turned away from her with a bitter look. Veronica’s confusion held on only for a brief moment, before she understood the question. She nodded, which made Freyda taking a painful tortured laughter. She placed a hand on Acxa’s shoulder, which made the woman turn to her.

“See what you have found in your darkest moment, Acxa. For me it was Ronan and Tjaàl.”

Freyda took Veronica’s hand and placed it in Acxa’s.

“Kathy was right, you two look like Ronan and me. Don’t let war take this also from you.”

She gave both the warmest smile, she could give them in this situation, before her stone cold face returned for the rest of the team. She closed her eyes and sighed heavy.

“Maybe they’ll understand it one day. Try to see their worries for you, not the mistake they have made.”

She faced Keith with her last look.

“It should count for something.”

She greeted Krolia, who returned the gesture with a face darker than a black sun and left the room to follow Ronan.


	26. Unworthy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter add a final aspect to the Vocazz. The reason, why interfering is so dangerous.

Hunk was the first, who got his breath back. He turned to Acxa and Veronica with a worried look.

“What has she talked about, Acxa? What has you started to see?”

Acxa didn’t moved, but her breath was hard and she had made trembling fists with her hands. Suddenly she simply stood up. She pushed back the chair so hard, that if felt over on the floor.

“Acxa...”

Shiro’s voice was filled with sadness, but the Galra ignored him and started to walk to the door as well.

“Acxa, please...”

The Galra didn’t stop, she had nearly reached the door.

“Acxa!”

Shiro had jumped up from his seat. His voice was trembling, but it had the commanding sound, which didn’t accepted to be ignored. And it also worked this time, but not like he had expected. Acxa ripped her blade off her belt and threw it on the table.

“Here, take it! You have taken my right to handle things, which were my business and my alone! So you might also take my blade! It’s obvious, that I’m not allowed to choose, whether I may use it or not, so I have no use for it anymore!”

The glowing rage in her eyes died and was replaced by a desperate bitterness. 

“And once I thought I have gained more freedom here to be myself.”

Veronica couldn’t take it anymore. She jumped up and sprinted to Acxa to embrace her in order to ease her pain. The Galra seemed to try to slip out of the grip for a moment, but then she finally leaned in and pressed Veronica’s head at her cheek. She glared at Shiro again, while she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend.

“I hope, I’m still allowed to join the mission on the planet.”

The accusing look made the man turn away from her.

“Cause I hope, you don’t plan to put more shame on me, than you already have, by making me break another word, I have given.”

She left the shocked team behind, while she disappeared through the door with Veronica still in her arms.

Hunk shared helpless looks with the rest of the team. Shock, sadness, confusion, all this were to be found on the faces of the Paladins and of the Commander. And in between this awkward feeling, that something had went completely wrong.

“But was has she seen?”

A sad silence was the first answer for Hunks helpless question. The empty faces of the team made the confusion obvious.

“Hope.”

All turned around to Krolia, who stared defeated to the ground.

“Hope for herself, that a peaceful solution is possible.”

The shocked shouts and gasps made her look bitter. Keith faced his mother with an angry look.

“But you have said, that they’ll have a duel. That at loss like his always ends in a duel. He had demanded a vendetta!”

Her sad sigh sounded almost tortured.

“Keith, you haven’t listened. First I said a duel is the last option and we have ignored two aspects.”

Tears came back to Krolia’s eyes as she walked to a free chair to take place. She suddenly looked so weak and… ashamed.

“I have ignored these aspects, too. Ronan isn’t a Galra and more important, he isn’t a soldier.”

“What? But he has fought against Galras for years!”

Lance’s voice pitched up higher at his surprised reaction for this quote. Krolia wiped away her tears.

“I’m too much a Galra for myself, for thinking about it earlier. It was also my fault.”

She looked up to the ceiling in sadness.

“He respects the Galran rules of honor. Probably more than even other Galras, but he isn’t a Galra. With a loss like he had to suffer, no Galra would even consider another option, but he’s a human. And I have slipped this fact.”

She punched in anger with her fist on the table.

“And I have skipped the chance to take a look at him in the canteen!”

Krolia faced Keith’s questioning look.

“Haven’t you seen it, Keith. His eye. His reaction. He’s no soldier. I have met enough to recognize the difference. He did what he did, but he isn’t a soldier. Look what he’s done, beside what he had to suffer. Freyda, the kids, the respect for Galran culture, do you really think he would have planned to kill Acxa?”

“If he had wanted to see her dead, he would have left her to die in the canyon.”

Pidge’s weak voice was quoted by a nod from Krolia.

“He had said, the fact, that we all care for her helps him and Acxa.”

Allura stared shocked at Krolia, who had closed her eyes in bitterness.

“And it seems, that Acxa was about to consider such an offer, too. But by canceling the duel you have chosen the worst way to show your care for her.”

She looked at Keith again who was sunken back into his chair.

“Like I have tried to make clear, with the Vocazz they both had agreed to end this guilt, but now… By denying the duel this hope is gone. You have damned her to live with this guilt until the end of her days.”

“But if you’re right, we haven’t had a need to interfere. If both had always planned to find a peaceful solution, I wouldn’t have stopped this.”

Shiro sounded angry, but Kroila released another sad sigh.

“I still couldn’t exclude a fight, Shiro. Ronan respects the Call. I’m absolutely sure with all consequences. But he was searching for a peaceful solution, I’m sure.”

“Oh no, poor Acxa! And you think, she might reject such a way.”

Allura’s face was as pale as the table of the conference room. Krolia turned to her and gave her a sad nod.

“Correct. Like I said. A Galra wouldn’t even think about a peaceful solution in a comparing situation. And as far as I know her, she might have considered, that she wouldn’t deserve redemption.”

“And now we have made it worse.”

Keith’s voice was dark and empty. His mother took a look at Acxa’s blade.

“Yes, Keith.”

“But couldn’t we just cancel the canceling? I mean, now we’re nearly sure, that they won’t try to kill each other. Let them have their duel day.”

Lance shared a questioning look with Krolia and Shiro

“No.”

The Galra and the Commander answered at the same time. Krolia continued first.

“You cannot switch between having the duel and canceling, like you want to, Lance. Normally this isn’t even our business. There had been some very rare occasions, when such duels were canceled. When a higher instance has decided, that one combatant is unworthy...”

Keith eyes widened in pure shock.

“Mom, don’t tell us, we have addressed Acxa as unworthy! That’s ridiculous.”

Tears came back to Krolia’s eyes. She turned away from the rest of the team to avoid the spreading horror in the faces.

“We have agreed, that Ronan was worthy. That he had the right to give the Call.”

“But Mom, this..”

“I HAVE WARNED YOU KEITH!”

Krolia had jumped up from her place and had slammed her hands on the plate. She looked furious at her son and then at Shiro.

“I have warned you all. The Call is most important for a Galra and for Galran culture.”

Her voice was now only a frustrated hissing.

“Acxa respects Shiro’s authority, so does Ronan. A higher instance has canceled the duel, that’s it. There is no way back.”

She faced Shiro with an accusing look.

“The Call could only be given once to a person, never twice.”

Shiro withstood her burning eyes. His voice was weak, almost a whisper.

“But a duel still might had happened. It couldn’t be absolutely excluded. I had no other option. Not as the Commander of this ship.”

Krolia sighed and faced Keith and Pidge with a disappointed look.

“I know. And I understand it. It was my fault. I should have known better.”

She stood up and gave Acxa’s blade a last painful look.

“Let’s hope, that she’ll take this blade back some day. Because only a Galra with honor is allowed to wear its own blade.”


	27. A Worthy Scar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! Hints and mentioning of passive suicidal thoughts in this chapter.

The door opened and Veronica looked at a face almost as teary and empty as her own. Jessy simply gave her a free way in and offered her to take a place on the couch. A crying Kathy, with her head deeply buried in a pillow, was laying in the middle of the couch and this sight tightened the throat of the woman. The sad and somber mood was laying heavy in the quarter and Veronica heard the voices from Freyda and the rest of the kids from the other room. Kathy looked up, as the woman took carefully place beside her. Veronica sobbed for herself, as she recognized the desperate look of the little child. The girl let herself fall against Acxa’s girlfriend, while a hot stream of tears kept running out of her red cried eyes. She buried her head within Veronica’s lap with a heavy sob. The woman wrapped her arms around the little child and both cried along for a while, together with Jessy, who had also taken place on the couch to stroke gently Kathy’s back.

“Don… Don… Don’t want… want… to… le… leave. Wa… Want… Want to st… st… stay h… here wi… wi… with everyone...”

The desperate child barely managed to form the words between her sobbing breaths. Veronica placed a soothing kiss on the forehead of the poor girl and pulled her closer.

“I also don’t want you to leave.” She looked up to Jessy. “None of you.”

The upper lip of the teenager was quivering heavily.

“Why aren’t you in your quarter with Acxa? She needs you now.”

Jessy’s eyes widened for a brief moment at the painful look of the woman in front of her. Veronica’s eyes wandered helpless thought the quarter.

“She is… She… She hasn’t even cried anymore. She’s almost apathetic, Jessy. She has thrown her blade away.”

Jessy’s shocked look proved Veronica, that the teenager had understood the weight of this action. The big girl shared looks with Kathy, who had paused her crying in order to observe both with a deeply worried face. The teenager closed her eyes for a moment, before she quickly left the room towards the sleeping room of the kids. Veronica’s look followed her until the doorway had swallowed the girl. She shared a baffled look with the little girl in her arms, but the child also seemed to wonder, why Jessy had left the room. It took some time, but suddenly Jessy returned. Her look was determent, but tears were rolling down her cheeks. She stopped before Veronica and Kathy and reached out her hands for both.

“Come on, Acxa cannot do this alone.” She pressed her eyelids together and sobbed hard. She almost stumbled, but Kathy and Veronica aided her stand. She shared a thankful look with Veronica and placed a kiss on Kathy’s head. “None of us can.” 

Jessy straighten up and tugged on her cloth to correct the fit.

“I’ll talk a word with her. Wait here with Kathy. I’ll call you, when I have talked with Acxa.”

 

oOo

 

Acxa was sitting on the bed again, at the same spot, where Veronica had found her, hours ago. But this time it was different. She was empty and far beyond any sadness or frustration. These emotions had left her on the way back to the quarter with Veronica. She had stopped crying on the way back. She hadn’t yelled in anger or frustration, she had done nothing. She was damned to do nothing. She had no clue what else she could do, so she fell quiet. The Galra was holding a frame in her hand with a picture of her and Veronica, Lance had made some weeks ago on Earth. It was a real photo, Lance had told her, that a real picture was always better than a digital. Like Ronan had mentioned, it held up memories of good times and a chance to say goodbye. To say goodbye to her honor. She placed a kiss on the frame and brushed with her fingers over the image of Veronica. It would also give her the chance to say goodbye. Acxa’s feeling had already left her. And Veronica got the point. Feelings could only be found in life.

“Don’t even dare to think about it!”

Acxa’s head turned to the doorway. Jessy was walking in with an angry shaking voice. The Galra hadn’t noticed that anyone had entered the quarter, but before she could say anything, she felt the teenager slapping hard her cheek. Acxa pressed her hand against her burning skin and faced the trembling girl with shock and confusion. Jessy’s face was a mask of rage and grief and tears were filling her eyes.

“I know this look, Acxa! You have no idea how often I have made the same during the last months!”

Both kept staring at each other, Acxa in shock, Jessy in burning anger but also with worries. The teenager snorted sarcastic.

“You really want to have it the Galran way, fine. What about that. Do you really think Ronan would have given the Call to you, if he would have been in doubt about you’re worthy or not?”

Jessy observed the Galra pensively and she didn’t miss a slight jerk of Acxa’s mouth. It added a glimmer in her eyes.

“Let me ask you something, Acxa. Would you die for your love, in order to protect her?”

Acxa’s muscles tensioned up at this quote. A warning fire came back to her eyes, which made Jessy form a dangerous grin.

“What about the others? Hunk? Pidge? What about Veronica’s brother? What about Allura? Tell me Acxa, would you die for one of them, in order to protect them? In order to rescue them?”

“Of cause I would.”

It was a offended hissing from the Galra, but it only let grow the devilish and provocative grin on Jessy’s face.

“Of cause you would. This is so much the Galra warrior. So much this damn brave and honorable soldier.”

The voice of the teenager was dipping from sarcasm. And it worked. Acxa jumped up from the bed and tried to hit the teenager with her backhand in the face, but Jessy had expected this move and simply blocked the strike, gripping Acxa at her wrist. She kicked at the legs of the Galra, but Acxa jumped aside, using the momentum to make Jessy stumble for a moment. She freed herself from the grip of the teenager and tried to place a blow at the ribcage of the girl. But the girl blocked the Galra again with a mocking laugh, which made Acxa really furious. She tried a hard kick at Jessy’s head, which the girl was only able to block with both hands and landed a good punch at her face. The bottom lip of the teenager cut open, bleeding instantly. She stumbled back two steps, shacking her head a bit.

Both kept frozen on spot. Acxa stared in shock at her own hands and then back to the teenager, who spitted some blood on the floor. Jessy touched her cut twice, hissing a bit in pain, but then she lifted her head and faced Acxa with an almost smug smile on her lips. 

“Good. Now tell me Acxa, how could I offended your honor, when you seem to believe you haven’t any honor left?”

Tears started to come to Acxa’s eyes and the smug smile of the teenager turned into a relieved one. She left her fighting position and came closer to the Galra.

“You wouldn’t be here and trying to fix things you have done before, if you haven’t any honor in you. And you have a lot honor in you, Acxa.”

And then she let the Galra fall in her arms to cry out her emotions. She guided her back to the bed and after a little hesitation she started to hum the soothing lullaby for her for a while. Her voice was teary as well, as she spoke to the Galra again.

“You’re willing to die for them, but are you also willing to live for them in order to protect them?”

Acxa lifted up her head and faced the teary look of the teenager.

“Because you would kill all of them, if you give up now.” She paused a moment. “I would have killed Kathy, if I had given up.”

She started to sob, which made Acxa pull her in an embrace. Jessy started to cry heavy for a while. Now it was Acxa, who finally dared to start the humming for Jessy. She earned a thankful smile from the teenager.

“I haven’t seen my parents die, Acxa. We had managed to escape first, but we haven’t found a safe place. My father disappeared, as he sneaked out of our hide one day to find some food for us. My mother was in tears, as he didn’t returned. She finally ran out in order to search for him. I couldn’t make her stop. I failed to protect her. I haven’t even said goodbye to one of them. The disappeared out of my life. I have never seen one of them again.”

Her voice felt and she was constantly wiping away her tears, while she continued her story.

“I have known your face, because I have made the same one many nights. I have thought about to go out and die. To end this pain. And I have done so, Acxa. I have done so.”

The shock seemed to put a pressure on Acxa’s throat with clawed hands. Jessy put up Acxa’s hand and squeezed it. She was staring through it.

“I had given up and was wandering aimless around, awaiting the end of this. I had truly given up. Then I heard Kathy’s mother screaming. I cannot remember the fight against this bastard, because I haven thought about it. I haven’t cared, if he would have hurt me or killed me. It hadn’t mattered in this moment for me anymore. But it has mattered after I won. After I had to care for someone again. I have to live for Kathy.”

She pressed Acxa’s hand so hard, it started to hurt the Galra, but she kept her eyes locked with the burning ones of Jessy.

“Kathy has saved me, Acxa. If I would have given up earlier I would have killed her. I wouldn’t have been there to save her. It’s sometimes not about ourselves, Acxa.”

Her tears finally run dry and she took a deep breath in order to focus herself.

“And if you still prefer the Galran way, I cannot imagine a way, which would hold up more honor, than in living on for someone. Ronan and Freyda prove me this fact every damn day. I expect you to prove me this fact, too, Acxa.”

She smiled at the Galra for a moment, but then she winced in pain, hissing a little curse and touched her lip. It was still bleeding a bit and already swelling. Acxa stood up and disappeared in the bathroom. She came back with a cold wet washcloth and handed it over to Jessy with an embarrassed look.

“Sorry, I didn’t wanted to...”

“Wrong, you wanted to punch the smugly smile out of my face. That was my plan, remember? Offend your honor to show you, that you have honor.”

Jessy was carefully placing the cool washcloth on her lip.

“So don’t excuse yourself for it. Show me, that this cut was worthy to take it. Make it a scar, I could be proud of having earned from you.”

Acxa pulled the teenager in a close hug, pressing her cheek against Jessy’s. The girl had a warm smile on her face, as good as the fresh cut allowed her to smile. Both were still in a hug, as the door of the quarter opened.

“Acxa? Jessy?”

Kathy’s worried voice echoed throughout the quarter. Both were about to release each other from the embrace, when Veronica entered the sleeping room with Kathy at her hand.

“Here you are. Sorry but we couldn’t wait any longer, so we… Jessy, oh my gosh!”

Veronica’s eyes widened in shock. Kathy released a shocked scream and rushed to Jessy, who was still pressing the now little bloody washcloth at her lip. The teenager pulled Kathy’s head against her middle.

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing. A few stitches and everything will be fine again.”

She looked up to Veronica, who had faced Acxa with an accusing look.

“It was my fault and my alone. Acxa has helped me and had fetched a washcloth to stop the bleeding.”

Veronica’s suspicious face remained, but Kathy smiled thankfully at Acxa. The Galra closed her eyes and took a long breath.

“No, it was my fault. Like it was my fault what has happened with Ronan. With his face and with his former life. At least a part of it was my fault.”

Kathy’s eyes widened in shock and Veronica and Jessy took surprised gasps. The Galra opened her eyes again wit a wet glitter in it.

“I haven’t seen the truth. I had closed my eyes before it. And so others got hurt.” She looked up to Veronica and Jessy. “But I see it now. And I don’t want to close my eyes before it again.”

She felt a tugging at her arm and so she turned back to Kathy. The girl watched her with her big green eyes for a while, before she started to speak with a shaky voice.

“Are ‘ou sorry?”

Acxa gave the little girl a weak smile.

“More than you can imagine, Kathy.”

Kathy kept scanning the Galra with her eyes.

“‘ou show them,‘ou’re sorry?”

Acxa closed her eyes in shame, but she nodded. The child tended her head aside for a moment, before she finally pulled the Galra down to place a kiss on the cheek of the surprised woman. Kathy nuzzled her head on the chest of the Galra and Acxa rested her chin on it. 

“Then it’s okay. ‘ou know better now. ‘ou help getting outchies better.”

A teary sob escaped Acxa as she pulled the child to her as close as possible. She barely recognized the sniffs from Veronica, who came to her side to wrap her arms around the Galra and the child. But she recognized Jessy, who was about to stand up and leave. She stopped her with a firm grip on her shoulder. The teenager was pulled into the hug by Acxa, before she got a chance to react. Jessy hesitated a moment, but then she also wrapped her arms around Acxa and Veronica. 

They didn’t know, how long they had stayed in this hug, but all of them was wiping away the rest of some tears as they released each other. Jessy placed a kiss on Kathy’s forehead.

“Do you want to stay the night here again, Kathy.”

The eyes of the child started to shine bright and a questioning smile approached on her lips as she turned back to Veronica and Acxa. Both nodded at the girl with a warm smile and Veronica recognized, that Acxa had taken her hand and had started to stroke her knuckles with her thumb. It let the smile of the woman grow into a beaming one. Jessy nodded at Kathy and gave her a kiss to say goodbye. She was about to leave the room, when Acxa’s voice made her stop.

“You had good teachers, Jessy. The best I think. Thank you.”

“No problem, Acxa.” She hesitated a moment but then she nodded for herself and looked Acxa directly in her eyes. “I care for my family. For all of them.”

Acxa’s and Veronica’s jaw dropped, but the teenager was gone, before they had a chance to say anything else.


	28. The Mission Starts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a risk with this chapter. Acxa's reasons to change sides must be linked with the fact, that she has realized, that her former actions had been wrong, I think this has to be correct, even without knowing the cartoon. In my interpretation of her character, she has received a lot of indoctrination and desensitization during her time in the Galran Empire. I haven't worked out details, but I think I have made this fact obvious enough. Due to her change I assume a huge feeling of betrayal inside of her and my risk was, to let her blame Lotor and Haggar for it. I DON'T know, if this is correct and my apologize for it, if this should be completely wrong, but due to all the information I could get without knowing the cartoon, it seemed to me a possible interpretation and I wanted to have a hard comparison within this chapter, so I decided to choose this way. I hope it has been a fitting decision.

The plan was simple, on first sight. A strike force and three of the lions would start an open attack on the Galran forces and on some of the facilities for the harvest. Pidge and Keith would join Ronan, AMRASU, Acxa and Krolia to infiltrate another facility, covered by the big attack. They would try to hack the navigation system of some freighters, which were transporting the harvest to the big facility ships, in order to find the location of it. With a bit of luck they could also manage to place some detonators on one or two of the ships in order to deal some serious damage to Haggar's flying facility. Voltron would do the rest as soon as the ship would be located. But the plan had its risks. Splitting up the lions made them more vulnerable, especially for the new kind of bombs. They had to be quick.

 

oOo

 

Acxa noticed the turning heads, as she entered the hangar with Veronica. The team was gathered and ready for department. She felt the worried looks of her friends, but she did her best to ignore them. Instead she tried to focus on Ronan, who was hugging one kid after another to say goodbye before the mission would begin. Freyda was standing a step beside of them with Tjaàl on her arm. The woman was obviously worried.

Acxa closed her eyes and took a deep breath, in order to push down some of her anger and frustration. Shiro's decision and the intervention of the team were still gnawing visibly on her mood. A gentle tugging at her hand made her open her eyes again. She looked down into Kathy's green eyes. The child smiled so warm and encouraging at her, as she stretched out her arms, in order to be lifted up by the Galra. She felt Veronica's hand rubbing her back and she could feel her supporting smile resting on her without looking into her girlfriends face. Acxa got on her knees with a sigh and picked up the little girl. Kathy wrapped her arms around the neck of the Galra and nuzzled her face against her cheek. The Galran woman buried her hands in the red hair of the child and pressed her head thankfully against her face, while she was placing a soft kiss on Kathy's ear. She felt the little arms tighten around her neck and this gesture managed to bring a little smile on Acxa's lips. Veronica leaned her head at Acxa's and Kathy's and both women walked over to Ronan, Freyda and the kids. The man had released Christina out of a teary hug, as both women reached him with Kathy. Acxa winced a little, as his eye met hers. Ronan seemed to check Veronica, Kathy and the Galra pensively for some seconds and then he smiled. Acxa nearly stumbled at the open and warm smile, the man was sharing with her. Ronan had closed the distance between them and had pulled the Galra into an embrace, before Acxa even had a chance to deny the gesture. Her eyes shot open wide, as she felt his comforting arms around her shoulders and also Kathy was leaning into this hug.

“Promise me to hold a grip on this luck you have found here, Acxa. Promise me to accept your luck.“

He pushed the baffled woman back a bit and a dangerous flicker sparkled in his eye for a moment.

“You owe me that General. And even more important, you owe this to yourself, Acxa. Find your honor by stopping this madness for yourself.“

He looked at Veronica, who got some tears in her eyes.

“By stopping it for her.“

He turned his head to Freyda, who smiled so proud at him. Ronan returned the smile with a look full of love for her.

“I'm doing everything for my love, even living. She has become my honor and she's worthy to live my life for her. To make it stop.“

Acxa turned her head away a bit to hide her flushing cheeks, but her eyes met Jessy's. She recognized the fresh stitched and still swollen lip of the teenager. The girl gave her a supporting smile and nodded at Acxa. It made the Galra turning back to Ronan. She was about to answer, when she felt Kathy's lips on her cheek.

“We can help 'ou with outchies. It helps to have family.“

The quote brought tears to her eyes and she pressed the child against her, observed by a nodding Ronan. Acxa handed the child to the man with a thankful look. She hesitated a little, but finally she placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. His face lighted up at her gesture and he placed his hand instantly on hers to give back the supporting squeeze. Acxa turned around on spot and her face felt back to a stoic and most controlled look. Only the slightly jerking corner of her eyes told Veronica, that she was still struggling with her anger. The Galra walked over to the team, who had observed the scene with surprise and some kind of awkward shame. She stopped before Shiro, who looked nervous at her.

“I'll never forget the shame you brought to me, Commander.“

She closed her eyes for a moment to focus on her next words.

“But I'll learn to live with it.“

She turned back to Veronica, who had listened to her words. Only Ronan's hand on her shoulder stopped her from running to Acxa in order to squeeze her joyfully, as the Galra managed to bring a warm smile on her lips for her girlfriend. But her face was stoic again, as she turned back to Shiro. The man was smiling and was about to place a hand on Acxa's shoulder, but his face felt, as she raised her hand to make him stop. Also the team members stopped in motion. It seemed, that they had planned th start a big group hug around the Galra, but her warning eyes made them stop too.

“I'll also forgive you, Commander. But not today. And also not tomorrow. I understand your reasons, but it'll take time to accept them. Or at least to tolerate them for myself.“

She turned to the Paladins and her face softened for a brief moment.

“Voltron has saved me and offered me a second chance. It counts for something.“

The stoic look returned to her face.

“But it'll take time. No one else has betrayed me so badly before, Commander. No one, beside two people.“

Her voice became dark and threatening.

“One of them died, as I dared to see the truth and we're about to start a strike against the other one right now. So I hope you'll at least allow me to decide for myself, when the time will be right to forgive you all, for putting this shame on me.“

Shiro stared in shock at the Galra. Also the Paladins watched at Acxa with a mixture of almost panic and disbelief. The Commander lowered his head and nodded with closed eyes. But to Acxa's surprise, she found a thankful smile on his lips, as he lifted his head up again.

“Of cause, Acxa.“

He hesitated a moment, but then he straightened up and hit his chest with his right hand and bowed before her.

“You honors us with this chance to prove our trust in you and our friendship.“

Acxa's eyes widened in surprise and her mouth stood agape a bit, as on Paladin after another straightened up to give her the same gesture of deep respect. Her eyes felt on Krolia, who had observed the scenery from the background. Keith's mother nodded at her, also placing her fist on her chest. She looked back to the team and watched in the warm eyes of her friends, who still were frozen in the respectful gesture. It let the face of the Galra lighten up and finally she returned the greeting. She had barely ended it, when Veronica crushed into her kissing her girlfriend, deeply. The human walked with her towards the green lion, giving her a last long kiss, before Axca walked up the ramp.

 

oOo

 

Ronan had held Veronica at her shoulder until Acxa had straighten up, to return the greeting. He smiled at the scenery and rested his head at Kathy's cheek. The girl stroke carefully over his scar.

“'ou helped her.“

He simply nodded, still following Veronica and Acxa with his eye.

“Because Acxa shows sorry?“

He turned to Kathy and lifted an eyebrow. The questioning green eyes of the child had a warm glow, which made him smile.

“Because you showed me her scars, Kathy. And because she tries to fix things.“

Kathy smiled at him and kissed him on his scared cheek.

“She needs new family. Family can help with outchies.“ 

She paused a moment and her face felt for a moment. The child relined carefully her own scar and tears came to her eyes. 

“I miss mommy.“

Ronan pulled her close and let the child weeping out her pain, while he started to hum the lullaby for her. He felt Freyda's hand on his shoulder and the Galra kissed the little girl on her head and joined the humming. Also Jessy came over to join them and with her the rest of the kids. The tears of the little girl run dry after a while and she shared looks with all of them. She was still sniffing, as she turned back to Ronan 

“Can we stay here? With all of them?“

Ronan looked at the green lion, which had swallowed Acxa seconds before. He felt the hopeful looks of the kids on him.

“It may hurt her to see me every day.“

A shadow rushed over his face and he closed his eye.

“It'll hurt me.“

He opened it again and his face got back his warm and gentle shine.

“But she's strong. I'll ask her, if she could handle it.“

He was nearly squeezed to death with some joyful screams and would have fallen, if Freyda hadn't aid him stand, as the kids crushed into him.. Ronan laughed and shared a long kiss with Freyda. He was sure, that he had never seen her so proud before. He turned back to Kathy, who had a beaming smile on her lips.

“I can handle that. Your smile will help me.“

He placed Kathy back on the ground, after he had received a long hug from the little girl and Christina took her by the hand, in order to give Freyda and Jessy their moment to say goodbye and to wish him luck. The man smiled at the teenager and Jessy pulled him at her as close as she could.

“Come back to me, okay? And be careful, Ronan.“

The man tightened his grip, thankfully.

“My big girl. Thank you, for helping us so much.“

He placed a kiss on her head, still hugging the girl.

“Thank you for helping me with Acxa.“

She had tears in her eyes, as she finally released him out of her arms and the man wiped one of them away, carefully.

“It's a rare scar, Jessy. It tells a story, what you have gained, not what you have lost.“

She took his hand and squeezed it with a teary smile.

“Thanks… D…“ She hesitated a while, blushing deep before him. “Don't do something stupidly brave down there, okay?“

His eye widened and got filled with tears but his smile was so proud and thankful. He nodded at her and Jessy turned away and rushed after the rest of the kids, wiping her tears away. He felt Freyda laying her arms around him. and got pulled into a deep kiss.

“And you thought, you wouldn't reach her.“

He looked her in her beautiful yellow eyes. Freyda’s smile gave him strength, as ever, but he saw the hidden shadow. He pulled her close again, giving Tjaàl a kiss.

“Don't worry. With a bit of luck we might make it stop today. With a bit of luck we can find a little peace for all of us, today.“

She kissed him a last time facing his eye with a begging look.

“Promise me, Ronan. Promise me to come...“

She closed here eyes for a moment and struggled hard to keep control of her emotions. 

“Promise me to be careful. For me.“

He smiled and ran his fingers gently over the chain and the ring around Freyda's neck.

“For you, my love. I promise.“

She gave him her proud smile again.

“I have double checked AMRASU. He's ready for action. And he's got the special equipment, as you have wished. Keith's mother was a great help in this case.“

He nodded thankful at her, which made her look even prouder.

“Make it stop, Ronan. For you.“

He smiled so warm at her, but he shook his head, before he got to the ramp of the green lion.

“Not only for me, Freyda. For us.“


	29. Make It Stop

Acxa observed Ronan on his seat. Pidge was already in the cockpit to prepare take off. Krolia had joined Keith in the black lion and so Acxa, AMRASU and Ronan were alone. The man had closed his eye and was rubbing the fingers of his left hand with the left thumb. She wasn't sure, whether it had been Jessy's or Kathy's efforts for her. Or Veronica's. Or maybe Ronan's, but she wanted to know it, before the mission would start.

“How Ronan?“

The man turned to her with an observing look.

“How would you have solved the problem? What was your plan for the duel? What in the whole universe could compensate a loss like yours?“

He sighed, almost like a teacher, who had to explain the simplest thing to a child over and over again.

“Nothing could compensate my loss, Acxa.“

Her face turned into a mask of shock, but Ronan stood up and walked over to her. He took place beside the woman.

“Can you imagine anything, which would compensate your losses, Acxa? Anything, which would compensate your dead parents, for example?“

The eyes of the Galra filled with tears and she shook her head with a weak motion. To her surprise, she felt Ronan's arms wrapped around her shoulders and the man pulled her close, so she was able to rest her head on his shoulder.

“See, that's the bitter truth. And accepting it, is my daily struggle. Our daily struggle, I think.“

His voice had a soft strength and he gently rubbed her shoulders. Acxa did her best to keep herself from sobbing and for now, she was successful.

“So I have asked myself, what could at least compensate a part of this pain. Fulfilling Abby’s last wish, is the answer for me. You have killed me and my family, Acxa. What could hold up enough honor to purge this guilt. Helping to rebuil a new one was my final idea. I have seen you with Kathy. And I have seen you with Veronica. It’s a chance for peace for both of us.“

Acxa jumped up in shock and confusion. She stared at him in total disbelieve. It dawned her, what he was up to, but she simply couldn't believe it. He gave her a weak laughter.

“It would be the harder way. For both of us. But Kathy has already welcomed you to the family. You have felt it, too. And war has taught me, that there is always a place for one more or two. A new life for my old, Acxa. A new family for my old one. Become part of us, of our family, to build something new. Help me to make the rest of our lives filled with happiness and peace. Let us help each other to live with our 'outchies', like Kathy would say.“

Acxa still stared speechless at Ronan, with silent tears running down her cheeks. The man continued his explanation.

“I could be impulsive, Acxa. You would have to deal with days of anger and accusations from me, I'm sure. But you would also have my compassion, my help and my guidance, if needed and wanted. And not only from me, from all of us. We care for us in our family. And I'm sure we could work it out on long term. Together. We could become part of your strength, like they are part of mine.“ 

He gave AMRASU a sign and the robot walked over to him. A case opened at the side of the machine and Ronan took something out of it. Acxa took a teary gasp, as she recognized her blade. The man pulled the palm of his hand over the sharp edge. It started to bleed, instantly. He offered her his right bleeding hand and the heft of her blade with his left.

“I know, the Vocazz is ruined, but I don't care. You're worthy, Acxa. Worthy to get a chance. Take my offer and reclaim your honor. Help me to find some peace. Don't let me down in my struggle.“

Acxa stared with open mouth at his hand and at her blade. She was shaking heavily, but she felt Ronan's look resting on her. Her mind was blanc.

“Kathy, Veronica and your friends have opened my eyes to your scars, Acxa. Freyda and Jessy have given me the idea and their approval to give you this offer, now it's your turn. Will you help me to find some peace? Do you dare to make it stop today?“

Acxa almost stumbled, as a teary sob escaped her mouth. She pressed her hands before her mouth to muffle the next ones. Ronan's begging eye was filled with tears as well. He stretched himself a bit further to repeat his offer. His look was focused on her shaky hands, as the Galra reached out for her blade. She barely managed to raise it up before her eyes. Ronan's blood was to be seen on the sharp edge.

“Do you think, I deserve it, Ronan?“

His strong and gentle smile grew on his lips.

“The hard work, the quarrels, the worries and responsibilities? Everything what is needed to make this idea working? Why do you think, you don't?“

Acxa focused on her blade with quivering lips.

“I don't offer you a free way, Acxa. It's a hard way, but filled with honor and love. For both of us. I have sworn my Abby to make it stop. She helps me swallow my hate. Now what should it be, Acxa? Struggle or surrender? Risk or resignation? Who should have the last laugh, Acxa? We or War?“

Acxa closed her eyes. She tightened her grip around her blade, as she took a deep breath in. The visions of her battles for the Galran Empire flashed through her mind. The fires of Tantalus. She could hear the mocking laughter of the faces within the flames. She opened her eyes again and her look got determent.

“We fight!”

She pulled the edge of her blade through the palm of her right hand with a fast motion.

“Together!“

Acxa grabbed Ronan's bleeding one with her fresh cut hand. She felt the firm grip of man tighten around hers and he placed his left hand over hers, too.

“May our blood clean your guilt, Acxa. An new life for an old, a new family for an old, to help accepting, what war has taken from us. To help to find some peace.“

The Galra kept focused on his eye. She could see a new fire burning in it. Hope. He had already finished his words, as he got pulled in a close embrace by her. Acxa started to cry heavy tears of relief. She felt his hand rubbing gently her back.

“Now you see it, Acxa. Finally.“


	30. Last Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, the final is on horizon and I dared to take one more risk with Haggar here. As known, I haven't seen an episode of the series, so I haven't a clue of Haggar's abilities. I know she can use quintessence to create her own powerful magic, so I dared to give her the ability to use her power to protect herself from the dying atmosphere on the planet. As the powerful witch she seems to be, I have seen no reason, why she shouldn't be able to protect herself from it, at least for a while, by using her abilities as a witch or as a scientist. I hope it has been a fitting decision, too. As I said, I try to create a story, which could be fit in the Voltron Universe, so I hope I haven't made too many or too big mistakes so far.
> 
> Warning! Graphic description of violence within this chapter

The operation was in full action, as they reached the chosen extracting facility on the planet. The decay of the world had increased terribly withing the last days. The acid, which Acxa had found on her first visit in the canyon was now also floating around other open ground, not as thick as in the canyon before, but due to the Galran structures with the same results. The metal showed slight signs of corrosion. It seemed, that the attack had managed to bind forces as planned, because they spotted troops and fighters leaving the area to join the battle, which left the facility with less guards than before. Pidge, Acxa and Ronan had taken position at a simple fence. Some ruins were to be found on the areal, due to Ronan parts of an former exploration station. It seemed, that the Galras had build up their extraction facility within the gates of this station, after they had razed the former structures. But they had kept the fence. AMRASU had taken an observing position on higher ground to have an eye on the area. He would be the backup, if needed. It was a modular extraction facility. Skilled workers were able to build up the modules to a full operating facility within four weeks.

Acxa was checking the area with an infra-vision device, as Keith and Krolia joined them. Ronan used his implant to check the area. He pointed with his arm at the structures.

“The bigger module complex is the extraction unit. The smaller second complex is for storage. The raw quintessence isn’t stable after extraction. Normally it would be refined for further use, but due to the handling protocols I have seen as I hacked the systems, the raw essence is stocked in special containment units. After that they were brought to this part of the facility to ‘cool down’, whatever this means. And then, they were brought to the shipment area.”

The team turned their heads to a small cargo hall, also made from modules. Even with a battle around, they could see droids loading two freighters under the supervision of a handful Galras.

“These ships look different. They don’t seem to be standard transporter.”

Keith voice was stoic, but Ronan noticed a little surprise in it.

“They aren’t. No pilots, automatized ships, used for short distanced on secured routes.”

Krolia also observed the scenery.

“You need less personnel, more staff for the fighting troops.”

Ronan nodded at Krolia’s quote.

“And it makes our work easier. We only have to read out the navigation protocols of the ships. If possible, we can place some detonators at parts of the load and send them on their way to the facility ship.”

Pidge was checking her equipment again.

“They haven’t even tried to build up a proper defense system around it.”

Keith sounded worried. He searched for other parts of any kind of security system, but he didn’t found anyone.

“There was no need for them, Keith. This facility was build two or three months ago. The planet was dying, the colony razed and almost any remaining people dead or captured. The old fence and Galra presence is enough to keep most people away from this place.”

Ronan’s voice was filled with sadness.

“And it isn’t SO simple. A low voltage is placed on the fence. We have to bypass the part, we want to cut through, otherwise an alarm would be activated.”

Keith nodded at Ronan and shared looks with all of them. One after another nodded at him. He was about to give the start signal, as his mother released a surprised gasp. She pointed at Acxa’s blade and stared at the Galra in disbelieve.

“We have found a solution. A honorable solution.”

Acxa was blushing at her answer, The others could even noticed it through her visor.

“How?”

Total surprise and disbelieve was in Krolia’s voice. Acxa blushed even more, but Ronan laid a hand on her shoulder.

“Nothing is impossible for a family.”

The baffled and almost shocked faces made the man chuckle a bit. He pulled Acxa in a little hug, which only doubled the size of the questioning eyes around him.

“We can tell you the whole story, when this mission is finished.”

He release Acxa out of his embrace and took out a cable to bypass a part of the fence. He offered Keith a part of the cable.

“Shall we?”

 

oOo

 

They managed a clean take-out of the few guards around the freighters. As soon as the personnel was down they started with the preparation and the hacking. Acxa was on the first freighter, hacking the system, Ronan on the second. Krolia, Keith and Pidge were inside the storage hall to search for more data and to place detonators on the tanks with the raw quintessence.

“Strange...”

Acxa’s voice sounded worried as she used her com to contact Ronan.

“Something must be wrong with the navigation data.”

Ronan frowned. He had nearly cracked the security protocols, but it seemed, that Acxa had been faster. He kept up his work.

“Maybe I’ll have more luck. What’s wrong with the data you have found.”

Acxa’s voice sounded a bit frustrated.

“I’m not sure. It seems, that the files are corrupted and some data got lost, but the diagnose system says, everything is fine.”

Ronan frowned deeper.

“What kind of data loss?”

“Almost the whole route for the ship. It ended in the high orbit of the planet.”

Ronan’s eyes widened in shock at Acxa’s quote. Right in this moment, he also cracked the system and the files approached on the inside of his visor. He stumbled backwards and kept frozen on spot for a second.

“Pidge? Keith?”

His voice was stressed.

“Ronan, good to hear you. Something seems to be wrong with the navigation files, there...”

“To your lions, now! AMRASU, backup and cover for the Paladins. They must reach their lions at all cost!”

He had cut off Pidge within her sentence. Now he took two detonators from his belt and placed one on he load of the freighter.

“Ronan, what’s the matter?”

Keith sounded worried and confused.

“The files are correct! The ship is in the orbit, cloaked. It’s a trap!”

“What!?!”

He was already sprinting to the second freighter, but Acxa had started to put one of her own detonators on the load.

“But the energy. Such an device would need a lot… shit!”

Pidge didn’t finished her thought. Sirens started to howl. The thin atmosphere changed the sound and muffled it down, but the alarm lights were to be seen on the areal. Ronan got to the emergency console for the freighter and started his one. The machine lifted up, slowly and started to follow its programmed route. Acxa had already done the same with her freighter. Both looked at each other and turned to the storage building, as purple gunfire from three landing ships started. Both ran towards the building, followed by the deadly rays of the ships. Keith, Pidge and Krolia came out of the building and stared in shock at the landing vessels. They all took cover behind a wall, pinned down by the fire of the enemy and watched in shock the Galran troops coming out of the transporters.

“We’re trapped.”

Keith was about to make himself ready for the last fight, as Ronan placed his hand on his shoulder.

“You and Pidge run to your lions. You won’t turn back, you won’t hesitate. You got up to the battle, you form Voltron and you end this madness.”

His voice was demanding everyones attention.

“But the troops?”

“Do you got the plan, Keith?”

The Paladin stared confused at Ronan.

“I got it, Ronan. I’ll give them backup with Acxa.”

Krolia laid her hand on his shoulder and Ronan nodded at her.

“No, I help Ronan to deal with the troops here. I owe him that.”

Acxa laid her hand on his other shoulder. Ronan nodded at her and she could see him smiling weak.

“Okay, you’ll start to run in three, two, one...”

A big explosion ripped the first landing vessel into piece, shortly followed by a second one and a third, which destroyed the other two.

“RUN NOW, AMRASU has got your backs!”

Keith, Pidge and Krolia used the chaos and started to run as fast as they could. They passed the robot, who has made his way inside of the fence, too. AMRASU managed to keep the landing field under heavy fire to cover their escape, slowly retreating behind the running Paladins and Krolia.

Acxa was stunned for a moment by the fireballs before her. She hadn’t expected such a heavy attack from the robot, but it seemed to her, that they could also follow the Paladins. But Ronan kept observing the burning fires. He had pulled out his own sword and Acxa noticed, that he was about to tighten his grip around it.

“AMRASU can deal with it, let’s follow them.”

She was about to pull Ronan up, but the man shook his head.

“He can deal with the troops, but what about her?”

He pointed into the flames. Acxa’s eyes narrowed, only to widen in shock again. A cloaked woman walked out of the flames. She could see a glow around her and a glow in her burning eyes. She was wearing an respirator, but no special suit and no other equipment seemed to protect the woman from the acid, the cold and the fire. Acxa swallowed hard. Only a strong and strange kind of magic offered this witch the protection, she needed. Purple sparks approached on her hands as Haggar started to focus her energy. She was about to dart out with her arm in the direction of the running Paladins as Ronan jumped up from his cover. He had made no sound and Acxa was sure, that he was even faster, than the last time, she had seen him running toward an enemy. He reached the witch, before she got the chance to strike against the fleeing Paladins, but she managed to dodge his strike. She tried to throw the buzzing energy against the man, but even from distance, Acxa could see her surprised face, as Ronan managed to escape the lightning with a quick roll. He jumped up, instantly and darted forward, his blade lashing deadly at the head of the witch. Haggar barely managed to escape the strike and so both opened a deadly dance.

Acxa was frozen on spot. She watched Ronan and the witch fighting, but it seemed, that no one was about to get the upper hand. She wanted to help him, but how. She could see, that the man tried his best, but unlike Freyda, Haggar was able to match him. AMRASU’s fire had stopped since a while and Acxa hoped, that they had already reached the lions. A loud roar in the distance proved her hopes. But also Haggar noticed, that she had failed to get a grip on Voltron.

A screaming curse escaped her lips and she threw a ball of buzzing energy at Ronan. Acxa screamed a warning as she saw him dodging the strike, but it was too late. The witch had created a second ball behind her back, throwing it at Ronan’s landing point. The man was swallowed by the energy with a painful scream.

Acxa jumped up, shooting with her blaster in rage at Haggar, but the witch teleported herself out of the line of fire beside Acxa and stroke her down with a forceful blow against her head. Acxa felt down and she saw the witch above her, ready to finish her, but instead of a final blow, only a painful scream was heard. Through her own fog of pain, she could recognize Haggar’s confused and painful look. Her left ear and her left cheek got a deep cut. Haggar turned around in rage. Ronan was standing a few meters away, still darting with his arm towards the witch. The man had thrown his sword at her, but he hadn’t hit her perfectly.

Haggar rushed to him and he managed to block some of her strikes, but her magic had hurt him too much. She finally landed a hard blow and he got down on his knees beside a gloming part of a landing vessel. She walked to him with a satisfied smile and started to shock him with her magic. A dangerous glow came to her eyes.

“Interesting.”

Haggar’s voice was muffled from the respirator and from the dying atmosphere. She increased her power, which made Ronan scream and winding.

“Yes, it explains your abilities, but how.”

Her purple lightnings grew brighter and his screams became tortured shrieks.

“Oh, don’t worry. I’ll find it out, sooner or later. I may have failed getting the lions, but I found you.”

She stopped shocking him and pulled the moaning man up, easily.

“Yes, I can feel the quintessence burning in you. All I have to do is, to find out, how this could be possible. This secret could be… useful.”

“NO!”

Acxa managed to roll over to her blaster. She shot it at the head of the witch, but Haggar turned aside fast enough to escape the deadly ray and held Ronan before her as a shield. Terror clawed the Galra, as she recognized his painful broken look behind the visor.

“No way, General. This is my prize for today and you won’t take it away from me.”

Acxa’s eyes widened in shock. Haggar was laughing and so she missed the reason why. It was the look in Ronan’s eye. She heard his voice in her com.

“For Abby.”

He pushed himself and the witch backwards with far more strength than Acxa had expected. Her horrified scream died in her throat as she started to ran. Both the witch and Ronan landed on a sharp falchion like part of one of the destroyed ships. The metal cut easily through the back of the witch, impaling Haggar. Her punctured lungs didn’t allowed her a last scream. But the metal cut also through Ronan. Acxa heard his scream in the com as the metal cut its way through Ronan’s chest near his right shoulder and the collar bone. She was at his side instantly, trying to stop him from winding in pain.

“Ronan, no. Try to hold still.”

She didn’t waste a moment for the limp body of the witch and took her blaster. She managed to fix the screaming man good enough to cut him off with the part of the scrapped metal.

“Don’t move, Ronan. And stay with me.”

Her voice was shaking heavily. Acxa recognized, that his voice was getting weaker. She started to rip out a repair gel and began to seal up the suit around the metal. She only hoped, that some of the stuff would also stop the bleeding a bit, but she couldn’t pull off his suit here. His screams got weaker and weaker, as a giant flash at the sky blinded Acxa. Suddenly her com was filled with cheering voices.

“Emergency call, Extracting facility six. Man down, I repeat, man down. Evacuation requested immediately. Area NOT secured.”

She didn’t took notice of the shocked answers and questions and continued sealing the suit. Ronan had stopped screaming and this fact let her panic grew.

“I’m sorry.”

Acxa hesitated to answer and doubled her speed with her work. She knew voices like his. Far too well.

“I did something stupidly brave. I’m sorry...”

She was finished and placed his head and chest in her lap to prevent the metal from moving. She saw AMRASU breaking through the fence in the distance.

“Acxa? Did we make it stop?”

She pressed her bloody hand at his helmet and started to sob.

“Yes Ronan. But it’s still a start.”

She felts his body going slack in her arms, as the green lion approached above them.


	31. Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is the final chapter. I'll also post an alternate version of it, but this one here is my 'canon' version, how this adventure ends. This final chapter contains a homage to the story 'A Weapon' from TalesOfOnyxBats (For more details, see the end note of this chapter). Thank you for the permission to use it here in this story.

Ronan opened his eyes. It was a wonderful warm summer night. The air was filled with the chirps of insects and a slight breeze carried the scents of the woods to him. An earthy fragrance, mixed with the hints of leaves, wet moss and wood. He was nearly at the end of the woods, the trees had already started to step aside and more bushes and smaller plants and flowers were to be found on the ground. But he didn't noticed the beauty around him. He was focused on the mesmerizing green light, which was shining through the trees. He was walking toward it. It seemed to call him. The trees got rarer and finally he had reached the end of the woods. And the long way had payed off. He had reached a large river and as his look followed the murmuring waters and upwards the steam he could see it. Still in a great distance but with a magnificent pulsating glow. He took a long breath, watching the Emerald Canyon shining on horizon. The light was soothing him. All this life around him.

Suddenly he recognized a person at the river. The woman was sitting on a big rock, cradling a baby. Ronan's eyes widened in disbelief. It was impossible, like it was impossible, that she seemed to have noticed his look, because she turned around to him with her warm smile. This warm smile, he hadn't seen for years. She was holding their baby, their son. He recognized a golden sparkle at her hand, as she took a strain of her brown hair out of her face. This beautiful face he had missed so much.

“Abby...“

Her smile grew wider and happier, as he whispered her name. It was impossible, but she had heard him.

“How... Why, I mean, what...“

She chuckled warm at his confusion.

“Hello Ronan.“

She stood up and walked over to him. He felt his knees getting soft and he got a grip on one tree to keep himself on his legs. But his eyes kept focused on Abby. The woman reached him and leaned against him, nuzzling her head at his shoulder. Tears came to his eyes.

“It's been so long, Abby.“

She chuckled again and it seemed the wind joined her warm laughter.

“No, Ronan. We are always with you.“

A melody was in the wind. A deep and soothing humming, a lullaby, dipping like warm honey from the leaves. Abby closed her eyes and started to hum the melody with the wind for the sleeping baby.

“Dad!“

It was a muffled shout deep from the inner forest. He turned back and a darkness was laying heavy between the trees, but also a little light, or at least an idea of it, deep hidden in the woods.

Abby has started to walk back to the river, still humming the melody, the wind was carrying out of the forest.

“Abby?“

She stopped and turned back to him with her gentle smile. She looked him in his questioning face.

“Have I kept my promise for you?“

Abby tended her head aside and walked back to him. She placed a brushing kiss full of love on his lips. His breath was heavy as she took a small step back to face his look with her warm smile.

“What do you think, Ronan?“

He brushed with the tip of his tongue over his lip. He could taste her on it and it made his tears falling free.

“Dad!“

The scream was quieter than before. He knew this voice. As good as he knew the melody in the wind. Abby was standing in front of him. Waiting with their child. It was time. Time for a goodbye.

 

oOo

 

“DAD! DAD, NO! DAD!“

Jessy's voice was shrieking in desperation. Her fists slammed at the covered window of the treatment room. The tortured cries of the children where mixed with the horrified screams of the teenager, who tried to free herself out of Acxa's grip in order to get into the treatment room again. Back to Freyda. To hold the cold hand of her Dad again. To scream at him not to be so selfish. Not this time. Not in this case. To come back to her. She punched and kicked at the Galra, but Acxa didn't let go her grip. She was in shock, too. Still with his blood on her hands.

The faces of them as they had entered the medical station. The pure raw shock and terror. It had hit her harder than anything before. Freyda, who had stormed the treatment room. Jessy, who had managed it too, but she was send away by the staff. Acxa had to pull her out, finally. The rest of the team were in shock too. Lance and Allura were holding Christina and Patrick, weeping together. Hunk and Pidge were crying heavily with Sam and Clarissa. Keith was holding Tjaàl. His mother had to aid him stand. The baby was nervous and also crying. But Kathy was standing quiet in front of the door. Tears were running down her cheeks in wide streams, but she made no sound. Her little mouth stood open for a loud scream, but no sound left her throat. She was at Veronica's hand and both stared holes through the door.

Suddenly the door opened and Freyda walked out of the room. Her mouth stood also open for a silent cry. He empty eyes scanned the room. It was a dead silence. She stumbled forward and got caught by Veronica. Jessy used the moment and ran to her. It seemed, that she wanted to ask her about Ronan, but her voice failed her. Both stared in absolute desperation at each other. And finally the Galra released her first cry. A cry, which forced the strong woman down on the floor. Jessy broke down beside her, with a soul-splitting scream. Tortures screams of shock and grief filled the room, as the kids rushed to Freyda, crying, screaming, denying the truth. Pidge buried her head in Hunks chest, Allura’s heavy sobs couldn’t be eased by Lance, who pressed his face in her hair.  
Acxa stared in terror at the broken family in front of her. She felt her tears running down her cheeks. It wasn’t fair. She stumbled backwards, leaning herself at the wall of the waiting room. She felt her hands shaking. Her eyes rested on Keith, who was still holding Tjaàl.

Acxa had to put all her strength together. She lifted herself up from the wall and shambled to Keith. She took the baby out of the arms of the surprised Paladin. Only her will managed to keep her voice on a nearly controlled level, as she started to hum the lullaby for Tjaàl. For all of them. The cries got weaker a bit, but they didn’t stopped. She felt all eyes resting on her as she started to walk to the grieving family. The Galra knelt down with Veronica’s help, otherwise her weak legs wouldn’t have managed the way down. Acxa handed the pale woman her baby and showed her the fresh cut in her right hand.

“I’ll help, Freyda. I have promised to do so.” Acxa sobbed heavily and her sight got milky. “I care for my family.”

Acxa hadn’t recognized, that it was Freyda and Jessy, who had pulled her and Veronica into the family hug, but she felt many arms and hands pulling her in. And so the family continued to cry out their grief. Together.

 

oOo

 

Four years later

 

Acxa walked on fresh fallen snow towards a little hill in front of her. A giant oak tree was standing on top of it. But the tree wasn’t her destination. She halted at a big rock, which was laying under the giant tree. The snow had covered the stone as well and Acxa wiped it away from the inscription before she placed herself beside it.

“Hello Ronan.”

She faced the carved letters of his name and took out some photos of one of her pockets.

“I still know, that you can’t hear me or that you already know everything I’m about to tell you, but Jessy was right, it helps me.”

She started to draw lines in the snow with her fingers.

“It was a good year, Ronan. More happy moments, than sad ones.”

She wiped away a little tear in the corner of her eye.

“Jessy will study at university next year. Intergalactic Relationships and Cultures. You would be so proud of her. She has your strength, Ronan. She had guided the family through the rough times with Freyda.”

She placed the first photo on the gravestone. It showed Jessy, who was deep in her books, learning for the entrance test.

“Allura and Lance have married last year. Like I have told you, Christina and Patrick have moved to them, the year before. Both are so excited to become big brother and sister. Since they know, that Allura is pregnant, they keep pampering her. I bet at Lance advice.”

She placed a second picture on the stone. It showed Lance and Allura kissing each other, Christina, who made an disgusted, but funny grimace and Patrick, who looked a bit ashamed about his sister.

She wiped away some more tears, before she continued.

“Both still denying it, but everyone knows, that Pidge and Hunk are getting closer. And Sam and Clarissa are doing their best to make them realize this fact. They visit Freyda, Jessy and the two kids almost every day. Officially to see Sam and Clarissa, but that’s their point of view.”

Acxa placed the third picture beside the others. It showed Pidge, Hunk, Clarissa and Sam in the kitchen baking Christmas cookies.

She sighed heavy and her hands started to shake a bit.

“Tjaàl has grown so much, Ronan. He’s still a real sunshine. I think Freyda wouldn’t have survived the rough times without him. Jessy, Freyda and AMRASU are telling him stories about you almost every day.”

Her voice got shaky, too.

“Keith is also listening to these stories. He still feels a bit guilty, that he has fallen in love with Freyda. At first for Tjaàl, but his caring and protective side for him had finally brought them together.”

Her tears kept running, but she had given up, to clean them.

“Jessy has given him a hard stand, but she has seen it, too. Like I said, it’s so much from you in her. She likes Keith. And she really likes his mother. Sometimes I think she has an eye on him for Krolia. It wouldn’t surprise me.”

Acxa laid a fourth photo on the snow before the stone. It showed Keith and Freyda before his motorbike. Both were wearing biker outfits and their heads were resting against each other. Tjaàl was standing before them and Freyda and Keith had laid a hand on each shoulder of the smiling boy.

Acxa sobbed a little and started to cry for a while. She was holding a last photo in her shaking hands. Finally she faced the stone again with her teary eyes.

“Kathy has grown, too. She is my light, Ronan. She and Veronica. She is so kind and so gentle, she...” Acxa sobbed again. “I still don’t know, how we have got her out of her desperation again. As I told you, she hadn’t talked for weeks after...” She pressed her eyelids together in pain. “But she had learned to smile again, Ronan. We all have learned it again.”

She gripped in her pocket again and fetched out a little box. She barely managed to open the box with her shaking hands. Inside of it was a ring with an emerald. She showed the ring the gravestone.

“I’ll ask Veronica today. Do you think, she’ll like the ring? I have chosen an emerald, because it’s green. Green for hope. It was Kathy’s idea. She loves the ring. Both have given me so much hope.”

She closed the box and placed it back into her pocket. After that, she laid the last photo beside the one of Freyda, Tjaàl and Keith. It showed Veronica, Acxa and Kathy in an amusement park. Blue balloons were bound at the wrists of Acxa and Kathy, Veronica got a red one. All of them were eating a Popsicle, Veronica an orange one, Acxa and Kathy an Bum Bum.

Acxa’s eyes rested on the stone and the pictures on and around it. She cried even heavier.

“You made it stop, Ronan. The family has grown and it still grows. I’m thinking about giving Ezor and Zethrid the same chance, you have given me, to end it for you. But I’ll discuss it with the others, first. I think, this idea might have got your approval.”

She brushed with her fingertips gently over the gravestone.

“We miss you, Ronan. I miss you. I got to know you through our family. You was right, it isn’t the easy way, but it’s the only way. It brings peace for us. I wish you could have shared this peace with us.”

She took up the pictures again and placed them also back into her pocket. She leaned forward and gave the gravestone a gentle kiss.

“Goodbye Ronan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The picture of Acxa, Veronica and Kathy from the amusement park is a homage to the story 'A Weapon' from TalesOfOnyxBats. It is a short story, written by her for the Femslash February 2019 about Acxa and Veronica visiting an amusement park. I love this little story and I felt, it would be the perfect idea to let the three visiting such a park. Also the balloons have their origin from her story, even the color beside the one, Veronica had chosen.  
> Thanks again to TalesOfOnyxBats for the permission to use her idea for this story.


	32. Finding Peace (Alternate Ending)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternate ending of my story. I like both versions very much, but the first version - Goodbye - seemed to me the stronger and more fitting one in the end. Nevertheless I have written both and I also wanted to give Ronan another ending, so I decided to publish both endings.  
> To be some questions ahead, no it's not a double post. The near-death-sequence is exactly the same from the other chapter, but the chapter takes another direction from this scene on.  
> The Galran words, Freyda uses in this chapter should be an idiomatic construction, which should be used by Galras to express greatest relief.

Ronan opened his eyes. It was a wonderful warm summer night. The air was filled with the chirps of insects and a slight breeze carried the scents of the woods to him. An earthy fragrance, mixed with the hints of leaves, wet moss and wood. He was nearly at the end of the woods, the trees had already started to step aside and more bushes and smaller plants and flowers were to be found on the ground. But he didn't noticed the beauty around him. He was focused on the mesmerizing green light, which was shining through the trees. He was walking toward it. It seemed to call him. The trees got rarer and finally he had reached the end of the woods. And the long way had payed off. He had reached a large river and as his look followed the murmuring waters up the steam he could see it. Still in a great distance but with a magnificent pulsating glow. He took a long breath, watching the Emerald Canyon shining on horizon. The light was soothing him. All this life around him.

Suddenly he recognized a person at the river. The woman was sitting on a big rock, cradling a baby. Ronan's eyes widened in disbelief. It was impossible, like it was impossible, that she seemed to have noticed his look, because she turned around to him with her warm smile. This warm smile, he hadn't seen for years. She was holding their baby, their son. He recognized a golden sparkle at her hand, as she took a strain of her brown hair out of her face. This beautiful face he had missed so much.

“Abby...“

Her smile grew wider and happier, as he whispered her name. It was impossible, but she had heard him.

“How... Why, I mean, what...“

She chuckled warm at his confusion.

“Hello Ronan.“

She stood up and walked over to him. He felt his knees getting soft and he got a grip on one tree to keep himself on his legs. But his eyes kept focused on Abby. The woman reached him and leaned against him, nuzzling her head at his shoulder. Tears came to his eyes.

“It's been so long, Abby.“

She chuckled again and it seemed the wind joined her warm laughter.

“No, Ronan. We are always with you.“

A melody was in the wind. A deep and soothing humming, a lullaby, dipping like warm honey from the leaves. Abby closed her eyes and started to hum the melody with the wind for the sleeping baby.

“Dad!“

It was a muffled shout deep from the inner forest. He turned back and a darkness was laying heavy between the trees, but also a little light, or at least an idea of it, deep hidden in the woods.

Abby has started to walk back to the river, still humming the melody, the wind was carrying out of the forest.

“Abby?“

She stopped and turned back to him with her gentle smile. She looked him in his questioning face.

“Have I kept my promise for you?“

Abby tended her head aside and walked back to him. She placed a brushing kiss full of love on his lips. His breath was heavy as she took a small step back to face his look with her warm smile.

“What do you think, Ronan?“

He brushed with the tip of his tongue over his lip. He could taste her on it and it made his tears falling free.

“Dad!“

The scream was quieter than before. He knew this voice. As good as he knew the melody in the wind. Abby was standing in front of him. Waiting with their child. It was time. Time for a goodbye.

 

oOo

 

It was a hard and painful struggle. He felt the dark cloak falling off from his eye, slowly, but the pain became real as well as the surrounding of the treatment room. He heard the machines working around him and felt the cables and hoses hanging from him. His first try to move his head failed, so he kept focused on the ceiling for a while and tried to breath away the last rests of dizziness in his head and at least a little part of the pains, which kept torturing him. Suddenly a mechanized leg touched his left hand. It took him all of his strength, but he managed to turn himself a bit. His eye fell on AMRASU, who was guarding his bed. He moved his right hand to his implant, but the bionic eye was gone. AMRASU stroke the back of his hand carefully and so he cupped the leg with his right one.

“Thanks, old friend.”

“...Ronan…?”

He had only whispered to AMRASU, but his whisper had been noticed and the fearful trembling voice brought the tears back to his eye. He had to focus again, to raise his weak voice at least a bit.

“Freyda?”

“Ronan! RONAN! Decxiz garatazz! Ronan!”

The rest got drown in her tears. Freyda’s face approached over him and the Galra started to kiss his forehead over and over again, crying heavily. She was carefully holding his head in her hands and stroke his cheek. He felt his heart burning in love for her. It pushed away all the pains and so he finally pulled her into a long kiss. She smiled so relieved at him, as their lips finally parted. But he also noticed a little motion out of the corner of his eye. A person tried to leave the room, silently.

“Stay, please.”

His voice was weak, but it was enough to make Acxa stop. Ronan reached out his right hand to her and the Galra walked finally to his bed and took his hand after a moment of hesitation. He squeezed her hand, thankfully.

“Thank you, Acxa.”

The Galra was already crying silent tears, as she had tried to sneak out of the room, but now she sobbed heavily and squeezed his hand back, while Freyda pulled her into a close and comforting embrace. She had no idea, how long they have stood there in silence, but it was Freyda, who finally ended the hug.

“I’ll call the kids.”

The eye of the man lighted up and he managed a little smile.

“And then you’ll rest, Freyda. For me.”

Freyda broke out in tears again, but she smiled back at him and gave Ronan another long kiss, before she left the room. The man was still holding Acxa’s hand, as he turned to her.

“Kathy and Veronica...”

The Galra looked at him in confusion. Ronan had to focus on his words, but it seemed, that he wanted to use this quiet moment.

“You need each other, Acxa.”

She felt his grip tighten around her hand.

“You cannot take someone out of a family. You can only become part of it. At least in my world.”

His breath became faster and Acxa was about to call for help, but the man shook his head and gave her smile.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine.” He did a little chuckle, but due to his face he seemed to regret it, instantly. “More or less.”

Acxa hesitated a moment, but then she placed a kiss on the back of his hand. A warm smile was the reward for her gesture.

“DAD!!!”

The door of the room was barely open, as Jessy rushed into it, weeping like a little child. She only managed at the very last second to stop herself from crushing into Ronan.

“Dad! Oh my gosh, Dad! It thought… I wanted… I… I…”

The girl pressed her cheek against Ronan’s head and the man placed a kiss on her hair, with tears in his eye.

“Shh… It’s okay, Jessy. I know… I know…”

She clawed herself in the sheets around him, crying and stammering ‘Dad’ over and over again. Acxa was standing aside a bit, unsure what she should do, when the girl suddenly jolted up and turned to her. Before Acxa could realize, what has happened, she felt Jessy’s arms around her, squeezing the Galra nearly to death in joy.

“You saved him. You saved Dad!”

Jessy started to sob into Acxa’s chest, still tightening her thankful grip around the Galra. The woman hesitated a moment but Ronan shared an uplifting smile with her and so she finally dared to fondle the short blond hair of the teenager. Jessy nuzzled her head only under Acxa’s chin as an answer, still crying tears of relief. The Galra rested her head on Jessy’s and kept fondling the teenager’s hair with tears in her eyes. The door opened again and Veronica approached in the frame with Kathy at her hand. The child broke out in tears, too, as Ronan turned his head towards the door with a smile. Veronica released her out of her hold and Kathy ran towards the man, grabbing his hand, he had stretched out to her. The woman was crying too and she walked over to Acxa and Jessy. She cupped the face of the Galra with her hands and shared a long kiss with her, before she hugged Jessy. The three got closer to Ronan and Kathy, who had carefully climbed upon his bed to hug the man. One after another laid a hand on the back of the little girl, which was still crying heavily. It was right in this moment, as the door opened another time.

“...se, not everyone at the same time. He still needs rest….”

Allura’s voice was swallowed by the shouts and screams of the kids, who stormed the room. They crushed into Veronica, Jessy and Acxa, who had shielded Ronan a bit from the massive block of joy and relief, which had conquered the room. Freyda and Allura followed them inside, both with teary smiles on their lips. Freyda was now cradling Tjaàl, who was sleeping in her arms, beside this noise all around him. The Altean tried to convince the kids to leave Ronan, but her attempts fell on deaf ears. They had already taken places on the left and right side of his bed, more or less carefully cuddling the man in joy. Ronan’s eye was filled with tears again and he laughed a bit, before he turned to Allura.

“It’s okay, Allura.”

He turned his head a bit to face Freyda with a loving smile.

“This is the best medicine for me.”

He turned to Acxa, who had picked up Kathy from the bed. The little girl had nuzzled her face in Acxa’s hair and was rubbing her horns. The Galra herself was in Veronica’s arms and was smiling back at him.

“For all of us, in fact.”

 

oOo

 

Three years later

 

“Thanks for helping me with learning for the tests, Acxa. I know, it’s still a year, but it’s so much to learn.”

Jessy was groaning a bit, but she had a thankful smile on her lips as they reached the gate of the estate, where the teenager lived with Ronan, Freyda, Tjaàl, Sam and Clarissa. It was a big house with a wide areal around it for playing and gardening, for long and joyful parties with the former team in the summer and for epic snowball battles in the winter. Acxa gave the teenager an uplifting shove and smiled impish at her.

“It was your idea to go for Intergalactic Relationships and Cultures, deal with it.”

Jessy laughed and pushed her back with a grin. Her smiles made the fine white line on her lip more visible, where she had been stitched, three years ago. Both recognized Kathy, Sam and Tjaàl chasing Clarissa around the house in the distance. It made Acxa lifting an eyebrow, but it only brought a happy expression on Jessy’s face.

“Hey, Kathy is here, this means Veronica, too.”

The joyful yelling echoed over the areal and Jessy released a pitied laughter

“Poor Clarissa. Pat and Chrissy are on vacation with Lance and Allura. No backup for her to deal with the three monsters.”

She chuckled again and turned to Acxa with a new shine in her eyes.

“Maybe we can have a sparring session together? I really could use a break from learning.”

A sparkle came to Acxa’s eye. She suddenly shoved the girl beside her so hard, that Jessy nearly felt over with an surprised shouted ‘Hey’. The Galra started to run and turned back to the girl, who tried to catch up with her again.

“Last one at the trainings ground is a lame duck!”

 

oOo

 

They were about to reach the stairs, which led down to the training room in the house as they nearly bumped into Freyda. Both recognized immediately, that the woman was guarding the stairs.

“Mom? What’s the matter.”

Freyda shared pensive looks with Acxa and Jessy. She didn’t made a move to give a free way, which made Acxa’s look more suspicious.

“Not your business, Jessy.”

She looked at Acxa and hesitated a moment, before she took a nod for herself.

“And also not your’s. Not now.”

Acxa and Jessy were frowning at the Galra in front of them, as they heard a painful shout from downstairs. It made Acxa’s eyes widen in shock. She had clearly identified Veronica’s voice and she was about to run downstairs, as Freyda placed her hand on her chest. The tall woman didn’t winced back at Acxa’s angry look. Her eyes kept locked with hers.

“Not your business.”

Another painful shout made Acxa nearly panic. She took fighting position and faced the woman in front of her. Her look was an ultimate warning.

“Last chance, let me pass.”

Both stared for some moments at each other. Only Jessy’s hands on the shoulders of both women pulled they out of the staring contest.

“Mom. Please, what’s going on here. What is happening with Veronica? Where is Dad?”

Freyda hesitated a moment, but the worried look from Jessy elicited her a little sigh. She turned around and walked down the stairs, followed by Acxa and Jessy. The shouts got louder and also another noise, which made Acxa’s blood run cold. Fighting sounds. She couldn’t take it any longer and passed Freyda, running downstairs to reach the door of the training room. She ripped the door open and released a shocked scream.

She saw Veronica with a sword in her hand striking against Ronan. The man blocked her move and doubled his speed easily. His blade cut a fine red line on Veronica’s right cheek and her girlfriend screamed in pain again, stumbling backwards and pressing her hand on the fresh cut.

“VERONICA!!!”

She was at her side, before her girlfriend had a chance to realize, that she had entered the room. Acxa stared in rage and disbelieve at Ronan, unable to vocalize any of these emotions. The bleeding cheek of her girlfriend and the fact, that Veronica and Ronan were down here, fighting let her mind went blanc. The man hadn’t changed his look. He watched both woman for a moment, before he spoke to Veronica.

“You live for her. You bleed for her. Now the final question, would you die for her?”

Acxa’s mouth stood wide open at the cold question. Freyda and Jessy had also reached the doorway, but Acxa noticed, that both kept standing aside. They had tears in their eyes. Acxa’s panic grew, as Veronica freed herself from her grip, ignoring the Galra, completely. Her hand was still pressed on the fresh fine cut.

“VERONICA, NO! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!”

Acxa was about to rip her back from Ronan, as she saw her girlfriend guiding the sword in Ronan’s hand up to her throat, pushing her head a bit forward, so that the tip of the sword pressed into her skin without cutting them. The Galra was held back from AMRASU, who seemed to have observed the fight between Ronan and Veronica.

“Of cause. With honor.”

Acxa’s look changed and tears started to run down her face, dipping from her chin.

“Veronica… Do you…? Have you just…?”

She started to tremble and AMRASU walked back to his former place. Ronan’s face changed also. A warm and proud smile came to his lips and he took the sword back. He closed the distance between himself and Veronica and pulled her in a close embrace, kissing the woman on her forehead.

“Your wish to marry our Acxa honors me and our family.”

He looked at the shaking Galra behind Veronica, who stared at them with tears of joy in her eyes.

“You have proven your honor and worth, as Galran traditions have expected. We gladly accept the greatest gift you can offer us, by dedicating your life to our Acxa.”

It had been the last words of the official part of the ceremony and Jessy finally dared to release a touched sob, holding Freyda close. Acxa was frozen on spot, as Veronica turned to her with tears in her eyes.

“It should have been a surprise. I had planned to ask you this evening.”

She let her hand slide into her pocked and she pulled out a ring, which made Acxa pressing her hands before her mouth to muffle a teary sob. Veronica came closer to her.

“I wanted to honor you, Acxa. You and your tradition. So I have demanded permission to ask for your hand from Ronan. From your family.”

She had reached Acxa and got down on her knees, offering her the ring in her hands. It was a golden one with an emerald.

“Kathy has helped picking this one. A green stone for all the hope you have given me. For all the hope we have found. So Acxa… will you marry me?”

Acxa was unable to say a word, her tears were falling free, but she nodded heavy as she took Veronica’s head between her hands. She pulled her up, carefully and shared deep kisses with the woman. Finally the Galra managed to speak again.

“Yes. Oh Veronica, Yes. With honor.”

It took a moment, before Veronica managed to slide the ring up on Acxa’s finger, because her hands were shaking as heavy as Acxa’s, but both shared deep kisses again, as the ring was finally at its place. Both felt the arms of Ronan, Freyda and Jessy wrapping around them. The man pulled Acxa’s head against his.

“Your father would be so proud of you, Acxa. I hope I have honored him, by taking his part here.”

He felt her head nuzzling against him.

“You did, Ronan. Every day. You gave me my honor back. You made it stop.”

Tears were in Ronan’s eye and he had to take a deep breath in before he finally placed a kiss on Acxa’s hair.

“No, we made it stop. Together.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, finally this story is finished. It was so much fun to write this one. As I have mentioned many times, this one here was blind written. I haven't seen any episode of the series and all I've got has been the trailers and VLogs on Youtube, the fanWiki around Voltron and the fanfiction around the universe, especially the stories from TalesOfOnyxBats. I really hope, that I have managed to create a story, which might fit into the existing universe and fandom. I have tried my best to keep the existing characters in canon and I hope I haven't done major mistakes with the background, the quintessence stuff or the characters. It was one reason, why this story got such a big focus on my OC's, because I couldn't mess up their background ;-)  
> I'll miss this story, but I'm also proud and happy for finishing this one here. Just a big, big, big, big 'Thank You' to TalesOfOnyxBats for all this feedback, for all your stories, for your strong, kind and open character, for all the wonderful talks and discussions, for all the recommendations (Mechina just rocks!!!) and for being an inspiration for my style of writing and for my stories. Thanks for giving me the chance to give something back to you, you're the best!  
> Thanks to all, who have dared to read a multi-chapter-story form a person, who hasn't seen an episode of Voltron. It makes me really happy to know, that you have given my idea a chance. Thank you so much.
> 
> gemsofformenos


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